glcssykat

[glcssykat]

your shy and delicate fingers dancing down my waist,

lingering, fading, and betraying what you once held to be true.

your eyes glowing with hunger and need,

defying the walls which once held us apart.

your heated sloppy whispers down my neck,

when the only way to tell time is the millisecond the cold air seeps in.

i want all of you, my fingers gripping any inch of skin i can caress.

your sighs and hands lead me into ecstasy.

it is when we pull away, and you look at me with a breathless and suffocating gaze urging for more,

do i wish to drown myself in your eyes.

[glcssykat]

why do you matter and why do i still care.

why do my eyes still linger on you,

please tell me how this is fair.

one month, two months, three and four,

i gave and gave, but you never more.

i think of your smile, and how it shone for only me,

you rid my heart penniless, forcing a fee.

the fee of compromise, the fee of losing myself to a love destined to fail.

the fee that encages my eyes, the fee that was blind to a bail.

i’d count the seconds before our eyes met,

my heart pounding and the threat of fainting which crept.

i love who you used to be, when it was me you wanted.

i love who you used to be, when the death of our time never haunted.

why do you still matter and why do i still care,

i beg you tell me how this is fair.

[glcssykat]

i landed from my flight yesterday, i came home!

i am home to this silly little life, no stranger to the routine of which we call living.

i take pride in this routine, i will relish this time

putting myself forward this year, would be the upmost sublime.

i’ll paint my sorrows and jar my tears,

i’ll hear the echo of my friends’ cheers.

i’ll walk the newly paved sidewalk, concrete hard on my skin.

i’ll overwork to the bone, draining my mind thin.

for this is my little life, in which i design the rules.

ignorance the crime, yet hypocrisy the jewel.

[glcssykat]

why do i do this to myself?

did i choose you? or was it the yearning for something that was doomed to fail.

we would never work, we’re too far apart.

then why is it i delude myself into thinking i stood a chance?

i want the men who want more. i want the love that’d never grow.

is there some comfort in the inevitability? do i seek refuge under this chaos?

the world feels smaller, and the trees look taller.

soon enough, he’ll leave too.

spread his wings, soar in the sky as if he never even knew me.

then why am i the fucking fool for settling back every single time

[glcssykat]

i stare at the moon, with music in my ears,

as if it won’t be there the next night, as if it’d disappear.

you take off your clothes, and call me your sun,

if i could shine as bright, could i finally have your attention?

on thunderous nights, i trace our future on your collarbones,

temptation kisses your eyes, your lips my throne.

am i the sun to your moon?

or am i the empty black space that curves into the crescent?

[glcssykat]

locket on my heartbeat,

sitting on grass.

headphones separating reality,

the sun hidden from trees.

ants crawl on my arms and legs,

but i do not fear.

my pants trudge through dirt

as the absence of you whispers into my ear.

i laugh at my shortcomings, and blame it on the times.

there’s children biking nearby, hear how their laughter chimes.

when will it be my time?

has life not had it’s full of teasing me?

if patience is truly a virtue,

it would be the death of my time i could guarantee.

[glcssykat]

i wonder what it’s like to be you,

i wonder what it’s like to be in your shoes.

i wonder what it’s like to be you,

i wonder what it’s like to be the muse.

i make myself beautiful but am always the joke,

one day they’ll see the rotten consequence of the girl they broke.

someday i’ll feel the warmth of the earth

hum to the numbing beat of wind.

some day i’ll stretch on tree bark,

and live the seconds you stole from within.

the seconds that stretched into minutes, hours, and days,

the time you spent deciding i was just a phase.

i wonder what it’s like to be you,

i wonder how it’d feel to not be used.