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me not understanding a movie: wow… the cinnamon tography

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*gets horny*

*makes it everyone else’s problem*

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shit memory who dis

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me: wow the stars are beautiful tonight  gf: yeah they are me: you know who else is beautiful though?  gf: *blushes* who  me: luigi 

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me: i lov obi wan kanoob haha :)

some guy: Ha ha! Right you are, my lady. Wow. A female with knowledge of cinema’s finest accomplishment? Be still my heart! Typically, I’m not so forward, but you have piqued my curiosity. A girl that likes Star Wars? A rare breed indeed! I love a smart girl over women who talk about make up, haha. Mayhaps we could continue this conversation over drinks? As a Redditor - and a gilded one at that - I wouldst make the evening magical and wonderful. I am not like the other men of this sick world. If you were dating me, I’d be the one making the sandwiches :) haha :). I am real, my gorgeous, intelligent, scientific poppet. A real man who respects women, unlike the others. It’s one of the many things that make me different, my sweet, electronic flower. Did I tell you I held a door open for a woman once? I know. And more of that to come, I assure you. Imagine. You. Me. A little jazz club in the city… none of that Lil’ Wayne/Taylor Swift crap the sheeple like to listen to. Real music. Music fit for a lady of discriminating taste. And, speaking of discrimination, during the meal I can expound at length about the crime rates among African Americans vis a vis normal people. I am not racist. I am white, so how can I be racist? I know a lot of statistics, my dearest, beautiful, white, female orchid. What say you, my lovely, succulent peach? Will you do me the honor of being my date for the eve? Merely, tell me the time and place and my mom and I will pick you up.

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sometimes im sad but then i hear a little cat go mrrrp and i’m restored once again

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i don know shit yall!!!! im jus out here 

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ily = i love you ilysm = i love you so much ywmbaily = you were brother anakin i loved you

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Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

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havent been able to stop thinking about this bear for days

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I’m sad & i want material items so i can be cured for 5 minutes 

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i actually have no clue how to use twitter. like technically i know how to use twitter but culturally i don’t get it