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Why astronomers and doc film makers would be such great leaders --

So I couldn’t quite have photos and text, so this is the text for the photos below!  I spent the early morning today with the Stanford Astronomical Society waiting for the sun to rise so we could watch the rare transit of Mercury across the Sun.  They were setting up the telescopes and special lenses, and we just hung out chatting.  The invitation had said “this event is open to absolutely everyone - no experience is necessary” which I found incredibly friendly as an off campus non-Stanford person, and they were just as friendly when I arrived, opening up the circle for me, asking how I found out about it and from where I came.  I chatted with people one on one while waiting and everyone was so gentle and kind and accommodating.  I thought “wow, I never knew I really liked astronomers.”  And as I biked away, after seeing a fleck of Mercury in the view finder, I thought - these are the kind of people, especially men, we want leading in our world.  And a few hours later, while recounting with a friend, I thought “wow, we should have documentary filmmakers and astronomy-lovers rule the world.” Of course this type of person wouldn’t want to rule things, but I realized it is an interesting idea that these people are such great leaders.  What makes them such gentle, interesting people?   Both are fundamentally very curious observers, and can see their small place in a much bigger world -- whether our human earth or the universe.  This perspective on oneself seems so valuable today, when many leaders concentrate power and energy into their own hands.  Even leading Kafenia I can see a tendency to be the center of things, and I am wondering how to be more of an observer, supporter of this universe rather than the center.  So spend some time with astronomers and doc film makers, and let me know what you think!   How can we help get them elected?  How can we bring more gentleness, more observation and less “I want things X way” into the world?  

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Let astronomers and documentary film makers rule the world!

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Onward Kafenia

[This blog I started when the kernel of the Kafenia existed - a gathering place for global spirits. Globalicious was an earlier incarnation until I rooted this in my Greek culture.]

What is this thing that is emerging, from the last 2+ years of experiments, questions, refining, attempting, failing and reinventing?  I'm sitting here a few miles from the inspiration for this effort - a mountain village in Greece called Amelentes - where everyone lived as equals, where the ancient Homeric spirit roams, where people grappled with how to live together in peace, and where everyone who was allowed to participate in civic life (whether the kafenio or the symposia) came as equals, no matter what their profession or background.  Of course, I as a woman wasn't allowed to join, and was disheartened to hear from the founder of the Society for Evian Studies, that women were confined to the 'speti' or home for the entirety of Evian history!  I'm hoping our history, the history of the marginalized, under-noticed, minority groups - was just unrecognized and played a central part in our evolution.  

What's emerging from this 'clay' that I started to shape, as we have done 30 monthly "pop-ups," 20 mini-meetups, 2 Peace Meals & 1 Summer Meze? There is a real hunger for meaningful connection among us, for a place where we are seen, welcomed, recognized, including in our diversity & cultural roots. We want to be around kindred spirits who deeply value making the commons better.  I started these pop-ups as a way to find the global hearted among us -- to put out a call really, and I didn't have a strong plan beyond that. except to get this public food and gathering space -- with elements of deep connection, civic engagement, cultural joy and empowerment space -- open.  Little did I know that would be so hard to pull off, partly perhaps because of personal limitations, partly because claiming public space (we've got to get out of the 'speti') turns out to be far more difficult than I imagined.  It was 7 years ago I'm almost ashamed to admit that the dream of rooting this vision in my Greek culture came to me, as I visited my relatives in the village of Amelides, and found a true home and way of being that I wanted to share in my world - the world of Palo Alto.   But the world of Palo Alto has been under so much stress -- personally as I moved several times, and found several, in fact, many core members of the Kafenia community fly the coop.   Palo Alto, once a treasure of progressive spirit, is becoming an almost impossible place to have a life, a real life.   Even money can't buy you out of this quagmire, though I'm sure it makes life much easier than for those who commute 2 hours each way to our village of Palo Alto to earn enough to pay rent wherever their family lives.   I sit here unperturbed -- this vision of an inclusive, welcoming village spirit is growing, even if our physical village has faltered a bit.   

So what has happened to this physical village?   I had wanted to offer this growing inclusive village of Silicon Valley - of wayward poets, dreamers, celebrators of diverse cultures, heart expansive questioners of the dominant paradigm, who know that being human is much more important than anything else we could want - a place of our own, a little corner for coffee, friendship, a little food, meals, where we can exchange ideas, possibilities, hopes, and experiment even.  We humans need these places;  a place where we are welcomed and received is critical to going out and rocking this world!   But there's a reason technology expands much faster than housing -- bringing things into the physical world takes time:  forming a non-profit (fall/winter paperwork in hopes of Sept IRS, with California status already in place);  forming a Board (5 devoted members who are focused on getting this space launched);  keeping the gatherings going; and working with brokers/anyone possible to find a space for $5 or less a square foot, after which the rental costs get prohibitive.   Somewhere between 2017 and 2019, the rental rates edged beyond sanity, and it felt like our chances may have gone with it.   We looked at over 50 locations, scoured 100s of listings, put in 3 offers which were rejected, and got up again, as they say.  

So we reorganized this spring, realized a strong fundraising strategy would be necessary, with the goal of raising $250,000 to cover rent & staffing when we open.   

And I needed a rest.   Doing all of this was burning me out, and I am not sure what we were doing was as effective.  Honestly, from the beginning the vision has been for this little space, and temporary gatherings were only meant to be temporary.  I am learning to share the vision and have it be narrow enough (since it seems to emerge from my life's journey) that others can participate.  

I am feeling the life force start to return, feeling a little twinkle in my eye and shaking of my shoulders to the music grooving in the background, 

And we are open - if you see a pathway to getting this space open that we have not yet seen, show us!   It just needs to be a space of our own, even for the weekends, where we don't have to set up and breakdown, where you KNOW you can come ANYTIME you want or need,   Partnerships is our strongest pathway now, and we have a few strong candidates.

We will be sending out feedback forms to the group, and I know my life has been completely changed by this project, and I hope whatever happened to change my life could happen to you too.  I've met people I never would have met from around the world, have a much deeper appreciation for the Middle East, understand the true meaning of friendship from new friends I have made here from traditional cultures, have such hope among the peoples of Silicon Valley and the world -- such amazing gifts just waiting to be offered if they only found a home.   Sonbufu Some, a mentor and facilitator of my wedding circle from Burkina Faso, now sadly deceased, said that in her village one's job was to see each other's gifts and bring them out.  You may be the only one who truly sees the gifts of another.   I love that image - we are here to see and help bring out each other's gifts. 

So as we wrap up phase 1, or the early days of the Kafenia, I bid you farewell in my current identity and role, and look forward to reconnecting in the fall as we find ourselves in PUBLIC space finally, even if only once a week.  I am still leading this effort, but from a softer place. I recognize the existence of the Kafenia is more important than the exact form she takes. 

Who is emerging in your life?  What gifts do you have to offer?   What gifts are you seeing?  As I am reading in this first female translation of Homer published in English, I ask myself and you: what do your Muses (poetry, storytelling, music) have to share?  In ancient times, Memory (Mnemosyne) was the mother of the Muses, as they "are all imagined as modes by which people remember the times before they were born."  (p. 10).   What is this time before we were born have to share, to bring forth as we hurdle into technological altered states?   Can these old ways balance out these new visions, giving them meaning, groundedness, context, purpose, a moral compass, just as communion with each other can?  

So welcome back this fall, to our new beginnings, our rebirth out to the "speti" and into the commons.   We look forward to seeing you soon, 

Back to Kafenia website, 

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BUSBOYS AND POETS TRIP :)

[From Mohamed G., Kafenia intern] The conversation was about the Black Diaspora and the difference between African American and the African from Africa. The talk was led by four panelists,  African American, Haiti, and two panelists from Nigeria. The talk was super interesting and the crowd was well informed and aware of such a topic which made the conversation even more interesting and active. One of the audience raised concerns in regard to her personal experience, she is from Nagira and moved to the states not so long ago. She was married to an African American man whom she said had a totally different culture and perspective about the African culture and how men in her home country were different than the one here. She also talked about the differences between African who grow up in Africa then moved to the States and the ones that live here. For me, it was an eye-opening because I never really knew about a difference exist until the lady brought light to it. As we work on opening a community gathering space on the Peninsula with food, friendship & civic engagement, we wanted to visit other models, and Bus Boys n Poets is the most famous. The whole visit was amazing and we were able to A little background: Busboys and Poets is a community gathering place. First established in 2005, the founder and owner Andy Shallal, an artist, activist, and restaurateur. Their first location is on 14th and V Streets, NW, the neighboring residents, and progressive community embraced Busboys, particularly activists opposed to the Iraq War since Andy is from Iraq. Busboys and Poets are now located in six distinctive neighborhoods in the Washington DC area and is a cultural hub for artists, activists, writers, thinkers, dreamers, Immigrants and everyone who does not fit in with the mainstream.

Busboys and Poets is a venue that provides space and support for poets and spoken word performers and interested audiences to meet and enjoy such an event. When Mary Jane and I went to an open mic night we have such a great time and there were not only poets but also standup comedian as well. The poems we had the owner to listen to the night we attended was a mix of different topics that totally inspired us.

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I see these beautiful faces and think of September 11th, and how much harm we have inflicted on young children around the world because of the pain and trauma of that day.  Can I sit and just breathe for a moment around that day, what I remember about that day?  I don’t think I had a chance to fully feel what happened -- I just remember watching TV day and night from Seattle and seeing flyers and debris and dust and firemen and people searching for family members.  I remember gatherings at fire stations and memorials for the firemen who were lost too.  I remember no one laughed for a while.  But I don’t remember crying and grieving.  I remember one law firm lost many employees, and I found a fund for the children of one family to donate.  I read the New York Times obituaries every Sunday, and felt such sadness for every young person or grandmother or aunt or Mom or Dad who lost his or her life.  

I remember some hate crimes against anyone who looked “Arab” or Muslim starting soon after, and then somehow next thing I knew we invaded Afghanistan, and then Iraq.  I wonder how my Arab and Muslim friends felt.  I didn’t have as many friends from the region as I do now.  I didn’t know then, as I know now, that I come from a Greek lineage that not only had a deep anti-Muslim sentiment but was involved in massacres against Greek Muslims.  Was I unconsciously reacting when I saw a young “Arab-looking” male on a flight?  Not only did Americans with ties to the region suffer as everyone else did, but then they also had to be afraid.  

So now, 17 years later, how can we Americans still be carrying so much fear and hatred towards people who did nothing to harm us - both Americans with roots in the region and those in the Middle East? When a white person commits terrorism, like Oklahoma City, we don’t automatically assume all white people are dangerous.   

So this year on September 11th, I want to honor the memory of this trauma to the families affected and the American ideal, but I also want to commit to releasing any unconscious trauma or fear I may carry, and I want to apologize to anyone who has been targeted or harmed as a result of what one man did with a small group of supporters.   

All children deserve a life free from fear or discrimination or targeting.  I am recommitting today to ensuring that 9/11 no longer casts a shadow of fear in this country and across the world. 

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All borders - the lines and symbols on a map, the fretwork of walls and fences on the ground, and the often complex enmeshments by which we organize our lives - are explanations of identity. We construct borders, literally and figuratively, to fortify our sense of who we are.

Frances Stonor Sanders, “Where on Earth are You” lecture for London Review of Books. 

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Globalicious turned 6 today!  Wow 6 years ago I started reflecting publicly on this journey to gather and grow our ‘global citizen’ community, starting regionally with global activists in phase 1, and now, in phase 2, honing in on my local community of the Peninsula.  

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Soup-perb!  I’ve really felt drawn to having soups as the denouement of our evening gatherings, and it turns out the word supper, literally comes from the French souper, meaning soup.   “In the Mediterranean, a robust soup is often the whole meal. Rather than serving a broth or simple puree, the thrifty Mediterranean cook adds beans, rice, pasta, bread, meat or fish to the pot, making the soup a filling and nourishing repast. Such a practice offers a more practical way to eat as well. It is more healthful to eat a large lunch that one can burn up and digest during the day and then enjoy a soup for supper.”  - Goldstein’s Mediterranean, A Beautiful Cookbook.

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The best thing about mountain food is the quality of ingredients: people are free to pick the wild greens and herbs that grow all around them, and the animals are free to roam and eat all the delicious foods that nature offers – which shows in the flavour of their meat. Eating in the mountains usually means a lot of meat.

Marianne Leivaditaki, a Cretan chef in London who is one of my latest inspirations.  

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Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem which includes - “we will snip fresh mint into your tea” - has such deep resonance for me and the spirit we hope to create in the cafe.  Here’s a chance to hear from her.  

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Gathering Spaces & Innovation

Thanks sis for discovering and sharing the new book The Geography of Genius with me by Eric Weiner.  This excerpt from Eric’s NPR piece sums up how vital gathering spaces are; imagine what’s possible if women led and co-created these spaces (which up to now involved men).  Where do you gather now?

“It might not be food and drink, per se, that foster creativity but, rather, the conviviality and intellectual cross-fertilization that a good meal engenders. Take ancient Athens, one of the earliest — and greatest — "genius clusters" the world has seen. A centerpiece of city life was the symposia, literally "drinking together." Participants spent hours downing diluted wine and discussing philosophy, poetry or the latest gossip. In 18th century Edinburgh, center of The Scottish Enlightenment, it was an establishment called the Oyster Club that served as intellectual blender. At the time, oysters were considered egalitarian grub, food of the people. The club's founders — economist Adam Smith and philosopher David Hume — consumed bushels of oysters and cases of claret, while they and the other (all male) members conversed about anything and everything.

Perhaps the greatest example of dining establishment as creativity engine was the Viennese coffeehouse. During the city's golden age, circa 1900, the coffeehouse was "a sort of democratic club, and anyone could join it for the price of a cheap cup of coffee," the Austrian writer Stefan Zweig recalls in his wonderful memoir, The World of Yesterday. What exactly did that admission price get you? For starters, a warm room at a time when housing — especially heated housing — was in short supply. It also got you information. Lots of it. The Viennese coffeehouse was the Internet of its day. They supplied the day's newspapers, carefully mounted on long wooden poles. This is where you went to find out what was happening around the corner, or halfway around the world.Everyone had a favorite coffeehouse. For Freud, it was the Café Landtmann, a cozy place a short walk from his home-office. (The café is still there today, though it's considerably more upmarket than during Freud's day.) Café goers had their Stammtisch, their usual seat. For Freud, it was in a corner facing outward. There, he could sit, undisturbed, sipping his einen kleinen Braunen (short black coffee) and observing the creative milieu unfolding all around him.

Now, you may be asking, where are all the women on this illustrious list? Genius is a social verdict — and up until very recently, the jury has consisted almost entirely of white men. For the most part, history's female geniuses – and their dining peculiarities — have been swept under the table, like so many crumbs. There are notable exceptions, of course: Marie Curie, twice a Nobel laureate, who, as a broke student in Paris, survived for a while on bread and butter. There is Virginia Woolf, who supposedly demanded perfect table manners from her guests and chided them if they fell short.”  

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Let's not leave Silicon Valley because of the insane culture -- let's bring alternative spaces and cultures into form that value connection, slowing down and being together, like the Amelides Cafe.   What if we could change the culture here even a little, how could that reverberate?

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I love this project -- "propelling a shift in the culture of social change to one that embraces and supports inner work." - Well-Being Project with Ashoka fellows.   This space is very much about that intersection -- of who and how we are (as Parker Palmer says) as much as what we do.  

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Community is the next Buddha.

Thich Naht Hanh

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In many ways, the most important part of movement building is creating social spaces in which people regularly gather to share their stories and build the relationships of mutual trust and understanding that make effective teamwork possible even in times of extreme stress.

- David Korten, Agenda for a New Economy (The Power of a Liberated Social Space)

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I just spent the afternoon writing up the notes from our second Tapestries of Solidarity gathering, and have really been letting what people shared sink in.

First a little background: On June 28th, we hosted a second Tapestries of Solidarity gathering of 18 remarkable women (and man) who are working at the grassroots community level around the world. Normally gatherings are focused on a project or specific topic, but this gathering was for all of us.  

We "sat together” under the Baobab just as people have done through millenia, reflecting together on our global village and how to support each other in our work. We looked together at the strongest question from our first gathering: how can our partnerships be more transformational? Many of us long for more connected, transformational ways of working, yet we find ourselves overwhelmed with todo lists, and “you do this for me, I do this for you” ways of interacting.  

There were many common threads you can see in the wordle above:  space, listening, connection with each other, time for relationships, storytelling, small moments.  A few that are staying with me include:

-  We can do anything now if we are connected to global struggles

-  Transformation is often preceded by having S P A C E  {       }   

- Being a witness to someone's story can be transformative

- Connecting to what brings us alive, and contributing from that place is key.

- TO BE not always TO DO

-  Bringing intentionality to meetings (a poem, silence) is one simple way

Whether you were able to attend or not, we are all part of an expanding circle. We will continue exploring and celebrating our partnerships at our third gathering at Kokkari on July 29th (with delicious appetizers and the whole restaurant to ourselves).   It will be a chance to connect at a heart level with each other (strengthening the local tapestry of global spirits) and visualize our projects/journeys in terms of what really matters to you.  Please join us ($10). 

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Sometimes when I caught in the details -- sending an email update on the Global Spirits Hike, sending out an invite to the next Tapestries of Solidarity dialogue, applying for paid work that is cross-cultural/global -- am I building momentum or going in too many directions?  I just drew this image that I love and reminds me there are underlying themes: supporting the journey, supporting positive global interconnections and doing it all from the heart.