glorious-cloud-wombat

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

I get paid to bully 12-year-olds I love my job

clarification: I work at a school and the students aren't allowed to have the wifi bc cell phones aren't permitted during class.

further clarification: I don't actually bully children??????? I was being hyperbolic about how I tell dad jokes to my children???????

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

My company has a specialist division that supports education around sexual rights for cognitively impaired elders and provides funding and products to assist older people living with dementia to get off.

So I was in the office and one of the blokes who works in the sex part of the company got off the phone and stood up to complain (which happens often, if you're pissed off you stand up and get it out of your system). And he goes, "this care home called me to organise a sex worker to come over and fuck their sexually uninhibited little old lady. Took me a whole hour to talk them down from it. This woman has spent her whole life married to one man, lived on a mulitgenerational farm, and is fucking Catholic. She's not gonna know what to do with a prostitute! Can you imagine it? She'll be terrified! She just wants a vibrator! I'm gonna get her one." He sits back down still muttering about it, "imagine it, some guy going all magic Mike while she has a panic attack. Ridiculous plan. Once they hear I might pay for a sex worker they just want that. I think it's morbid curiosity. Good god."

He also told me about a day where he had two orders for a dildo for an elderly man, where both referrals were due to the men putting coat hangers up their arseholes. He investigated both and one he was like, yep, openly gay man, that's sexual interest, we'll get him a dildo. The other one tho, he had chronic constipation and my colleague called the care home back to yell at them to get him clinically managed, since he was probably just trying to void. Like. Imagine needing to take a shit and a nurse gives you an anal dildo. Wild. The work this guy does. I admire it

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

Sometimes I just wish I could-

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

:')

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

Weird when you first start paying attention to animal noises and realize they don't actually sound like the words we use

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

Weird when you first start paying attention to animal noises and realize they don't actually sound like the words we use

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

It also takes art to restore old paintings that look like scabs...

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

On one hand I understand not teaching cursive in school anymore, because it actually is slower than regular handwriting and almost everything is typed on a keyboard now anyways.

On the other hand, so much of our (even recent!) history was written in cursive, and having a whole generation of kids who can't read letters written by their grandparents, momentos saved by their great-grandparents, or even photo albums from theur immediate family seems like a dangerously quick way to detach us from previous generations.

And on the third, related but slightly malformed hand, I feel bad that yet another form of small, everyday art that brings joy in the middle of mundane tasks, which celebrates personality and individual style and self-expression, is about to fade into obscurity because it wasn't efficient enough for today's world to put up with.

Like... if we continue to whittle away the small arts out of every day life, what's going to be left except stark, ruthless pragmatism?

Maybe writing a grocery list is less mundane when you get to feel elegant for a moment. Maybe you're a little more proud of what you write when you see it flow together like a painting

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.

[glorious-cloud-wombat]

On the one hand, deciding to do a herringbone pattern probably increased the floor renovation project time by 4-5 hours. On the other hand, my library floor is going to look bomb as hell (just as soon as I run to Home Depot for more flooring because I ran out 😬). We’ll do black grout in here as well. And once the floor is done…I can start building bookshelves 🎉🎉🎉