goatfish94
goatfish94
Believe In The Amateur
28 posts
This blog is a manifestation of the thought that we are all beginners, learners, teachers, experts, and magicians, witches, wizards of what we make our own and what we practice as our own. We are our own destiny.^yes lolz, woah this too funny to see a few months later. Thanks for coming by and enjoy the words.
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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Ten High Holidays
That whole 5th was a vacation
Lasted all summer within
Each shot worst than the last
Bad memories omitted, mostly
Thanks to it鈥檚 mind-wiping blast
You grabbed my arm, nails impressing
Blood rising to my neck, red expressing
Mostly, a damn good reminder
Of all that happens outside memory
Even when lovely I find her
The lucid truth doesn鈥檛 act kindly
I push aside the big red door
In search of a beverage ready to out-pour
The last of the holidays remained
Two fingers full left to consume
Quickly I took it and drained
Holidays ended in a whiskey flume
1/21/20
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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Off the hook
I just let myself down
Cause I鈥檝e been dangling in my jacket
Shuffling my feet on the floor
I have gotten off before
Out of my coat on the wall
Run around and laughed
But it always has gotten cold
So up I am on the edge
Sweater neatly stuck on a hook
My body wrestling with the item
Shuffling my feet on the floor
I leaned in on my tippy toes
Finally
This once
My jacket is free
And my feet do not know
Where and how we should go
For I am off the hook
Warm and dry in my beloved coat
Feeling a new freedom
in the arms of my sweater
Jon kelley copyright January 2020
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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Turns out the pages just kept turning
I remember pond picnics
Floating out the kayaks with a spread
Of lunch precariously perched
I had never loved another soul
With all of me all whole
Flowers blooming all over
That was many years ago
Turns out the pages keep on turning
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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12-5-19
Well if that鈥檚 how you really feel
Then okay do as you will
It鈥檚 nice to know sometimes
Find truth among all these lies
Shake off all I have felt
Kicking glass and eggshells
I can now confidently walk
With leather boots on my feet
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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journal thoughts
all the ziplock bags
for all the things to carry
in my job my home is packed
right onto my back
all the ziplock bags
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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just a little bit
drunk at the pool tables
five o clock on a saturday
i have had four dales already
and now its just pitchers of pbr
angles go a little bit better for me
and i鈥檓 just a little bit drunk
10/7/19
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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new shoes
a pair of new shoes
funny white legs, fresh new perspective
feeling pretty clean
for a night of debauchery
maybe its just what i need
date unknown
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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undoubtedly found
black lines across mango colored cliffs
driving back this way i always have the quits
its me halfway between muddy creek
in the sun filled san rafael swell
and a snow-covered leadville in a desert
snowy tundra-bound into the cold cold desert
home is a strange thing molded and broken
lost and undoubtedly found, we hold keys
With which We unlock each other
you and i unlock them too
in conversation and laughs
rolling around the world in joy and also pain
puzzles pieces trying to fit
we just need to mold fold
become new shapes
stretching just a bit
8/30/19
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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Return and Exchange
It came back last night
And in the least creepy way
I realize that it had been over 12 months
And I didn鈥檛 realize THAT was the stolen part
It鈥檚 kind of crazy I had something removed last November in the midst of the redwoods
It scared me but felt like it was what was going to happen
I could however I wanted about it
But i found peace in the happening
And now I had forgotten for a long while
It was only a few weeks back
I remembered and only took a moment
And thought of what it was that was snatched by the skull in the stars
Over the ancients of California
I wondered now if I knew what it was
And last night I felt it
It was my spiritual power
A rhythm of my understanding聽
made new again
2/13/19
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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I WILL
I will
I will disappear into one thousand oceans.
I will find a way to hold myself and let it all go and become a part of everything else.
I will forget every single notion and find new and romantic things to take my timeless devotion.
I will be the brightest a spark of shit out in the expanse of reality and possibility.
Imagine a mathematical graph with the classic axis intersection of y and x
I am taking the limit of a purely random vector(my life)
i watching it ride to infinity stretching on until聽
i can no longer hold onto x and onto y
i am falling falling falling
i am in the intersection of everything
聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽of numbers and emotions written in vectors
聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 and colors, an array of thriving chaos
聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽 聽predictably going into the infinite聽
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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we have never been puzzle peices
black lines across mango colored cliffs
driving back this way i always have the quits
its me halfway between muddy creek in
the san rafael swell
and a snow powdered leadville in a desert
snowy tundra - bound into cold cold desert
Home is a strange thing molded and broken
lost and Undoubtedly found - people are聽 a key
they unlock each other- and you
you unlock them too
its conversation and laughter
rolling around the world in joy and hurt
puzzle pieces trying to fit
we just need to mold
fold and become new shapes
we have never been puzzle pieces
copyright 2019 jon kelley
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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we are all dreaming
we are all dreaming. i believe they are dreams.
all of it. our waking. our sleeping
some of us are strung out
some of us are trying to figure out just how gay we are
some of us have life dialed - to the fucking nail
some of us don鈥檛
some of us are in the shitnado that creates our life
maybe its our head or hormones or
being stoned all the time
i don鈥檛 know
some of us are getting caught in the spirals of
all of it, the beautiful redundancy in us all
some of us feel the UNIVERSE and all her
intertwinings of love, cycle, and death
we are all dreaming
i fucking swear
copyright 2019 jon kelley
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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There is another man with wireless earbuds. God, I swear he is the fiftieth I have seen in the last thirty minutes. It still seems like super advanced tech even though it is quite common and been around for a while. Denver is so green and lush today. Riding the Jeffco line I watched summer scenes scroll by in a flurry of gardens, donkeys, sports fields, and a of course so many humans living out their individual stories. It is crazy to be getting on a plane almost exactly after I drove my ass and all my shit in the Ole Green Bean agrios Tennessee Kentucky Missouri Kansas and into Colorado. This last year has been wild. I gained a niece, drove to Wyoming and climbed splitters, made some amazing friends, slowly letting my heart heal, making mistakes and saying sorry, getting lost in the wieredness that is this life, lost hope, happily received hope and joy, drove to Utah too many times, drove back to wyom, saw friends passing through, tried moving somewhere, moved somewhere else, went back to Boone for a spell, and now I have just finished the new structure training with the Colorado Outward Bound School.
Sheesh, sometimes I forget to breath.
I am inmeasurably thankful to be back at COBS this season and for the amazing trainers and friends I got to share some cold-as-shit adventures trekking up hills, post hiking the whole way, kicking steps up East buffalo peak, sleeping in the snow, laughing, crying, and having a damn good time the last six days.
It is good to feel this alive.
Cheers
jk
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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You are my summer sky
Oh man it鈥檚 warm and humid
The trees are shifting and the sand is rising
Into to the air and a jet ski is passing by
Do you remember the night you and I and someone be else skinny dipped on bass lake and you were on shore shivering as can be
I was in the water cold as is
We swam
We kissed
We missed
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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Oh my man
Life ain鈥檛 no thing but a pickle and a dream
You see, you take righteous bite out of that summer fresh dill pickle and look up to the heavens
All the bright baby blue sky and cotton ball clouds are overarching the lush summer of a Boone day by the river
You have so many places to go
So many adventures to be had
In rivers and in bushes and trees
And on rocks and tenacity
And the things we fickle people can be
Oh it is to the rest of what happens
Who I get to love
Where I get to go
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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I was in mourning for a long time
I stepped into circles of reminiscence
Cast in a whirlwind of ashes and tears
A dark night of my soul
And now I am in the evening
Of a very long day that started with you
And you are now long gone
And I am finally in dancing
A city celebration cast all about
Subways, warm sea breezes and piss
Set aside - that you are!
Sure I still got love
But now I鈥檓 throwing again
Picked back up a glove
I am looking far beyond
I am looking out of my head
The sun is coming up
And I鈥檓 on a different bus
A new blue one
Huffing and puffing putting out tires
To a young and open road
Cheers to you and me
And whoever you turn out to be
And all I get to see
And the things we will learn
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goatfish94 6 years ago
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Aabbccdd
I don鈥檛 like to be in boxes
If I don鈥檛 want to be in boxes
I mean some boxes are nice
Like a house I share with mice
And crates full of beer and champagne
And miles of adventures and a lil pain
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