gobywan

[gobywan]

The duality of man is thinking “children cannot help themselves and we all need to be patient with them as they explore what it means to be human in public” and also “damn, I wish this crying baby was not on the plane rn :/“

[gobywan]

[gobywan]

raidcore

[gobywan]

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

[gobywan]

Do something small. Do something actionable.

[gobywan]

Why did “be critical of your media” turn into “find all its flaws and hate it” why did people become allergic to FUN

[gobywan]

We've all gotten just a bit too comfortable being jerks to strangers on the internet I think

[gobywan]

Newsmax is a far-right conservative network. These are supposed to be bad things. I feel like I'm watching a Simpsons episode. This season of America was written by The Onion.

[gobywan]

I'm very sorry to ask something like this, I've really been struggling with this question, and I wanted to ask the combined wisdom of the people on this site

I would like to know why you keep going, and what drives you to keep living. I know there are a lot of reasons to stay alive and enjoy life, I can think of a few that personally resonate with me, but I really want to know what your reasons are

You do not have to comment on this if that's too big of an ask, and I'm very sorry for asking something like this, I really need someone's help, I feel like I don't have much purpose

Also if I may ask, please don't post any suicidal ideation in the comments of this post, I really can't handle something like that right now

[gobywan]

i don't know who needs to hear this, but guilt, self-hatred and shame are not sustainable sources of growth and healing. you can't hate yourself into feeling better, or being better. you can't repeatedly punish yourself for your flawed humanity and expect wholesome results.

[gobywan]

[gobywan]

before directors are allowed to put in the request for cgi they should be required to answer: “would lord of the rings have been able to do this by sitting somebody a little further back, using an apple box, or putting out a casting call for a really big pig?” and if the answer is yes they should consider finding a really big pig.

[gobywan]

I know this sounds like the deranged ramblings of a senile old man but I swear it used to be possible to look up information on the internet

[gobywan]

could you imagine trying to navigate this bar drunk, this is the 9th circle of hell

[gobywan]

i know that a lot of people already know this, and that this may come across as condescending to those who do, but it has become increasingly clear to me that many people, particularly younger people, don't understand this but—

purity culture is more then just thinking sex is bad and evil and gross

purity culture is the belief that you can be corrupted, that there is an level of purity that can be tarnished by thinking or doing something deemed sinful or icky and that once you lose that purity, you are lesser then those who have not been "tainted". it's the belief that seeing, thinking, or doing something inherently nonharmful to others will fundamental change you in a negative way

purity culture is watching gory horror movies and being told that you are disgusting for finding it interesting to watch

purity culture is being told that violence in books, movies, games, etcetera will make you violent

purity culture is being told that wanting to hurt someone makes you bad, darkens your heart, whatever, even if they hurt you first, even if you have no plans to ever act on that desire

purity culture is being told to forgive your abuser, rapist, or even just people who have slighted and hurt you or else you will never fully heal, or that it makes you in someway bad too, or even just as bad as them

purity culture is being told that hating someone is equally to killing them, or wanting to kill them

purity culture is when people have intrusive thoughts that scare and harm them that make you uncomfortable, possibly even triggered, and telling them that they secretly want to do, have, etcetera, those things or else they wouldn't be thinking about it

purity culture is being told not to curse because it makes your mouth filthy, makes your heart filthy, makes you mean and bad and unpleasant

purity culture is being told that jealousy, anger, rage, disgust, and other stigmatized emotions are "bad" or "unhealthy" emotions

purity culture is refusing to let youths or even teenagers read or watch potential upsetting books, shows, movies, games, comics, etcetera out of fear they will act them out, become violent, possessed, unruly, etcetera

purity culture is being told that writing, drawing, or just in general making something dark and uncomfortable makes you gross and evil

purity culture is telling you that you have to portray bad things as bad or else people won't under that it's still bad, that it will normalize this bad thing, that people can be corrupted by it because they can't think for themselves whether this bad thing you portrayed as good is not actually good

purity culture is thinking bad things done for good reasons is just as bad as bad things done for bad reasons, like a mother stealing baby formula to keep her child alive versus someone stealing your pet because they wanted it are equally wrong

purity culture is being told that drinking, smoking, being addicted to drugs, unemployed, homeless, makes you lesser and filthy and corrupts you

purity culture is believing that someone wanting to do something bad, but choosing not to do it because they know it's bad, still makes them bad because they still want to do it

purity culture is thinking people getting tattoos, dying their hair, piercing, wearing make up, getting cosmetic surgeries secretly hate themselves and are disrespecting themselves

purity culture is so much more then just sex. it expands so much further then just christian/religious people and communities

purity culture is doing something bad, and when you try to seek atonement or correct the mistake, that it is unforgivable and will alway be a blight on you, even if others can "learn to look past it"

if you think that someone thinking or do something that does not cause any inherent harm makes them lesser, makes them bad, makes them gross, corrupts them or can lead them to corrupting others, you are pushing purity culture

this is coming from a women raised in an extremely sex negative christian household who spent years hating herself and her body due to sex based purity culture being pushed onto her from the age of six due to early puberty by the way, so don't try to gate keep purity culture on this post as only a religious and or sexual thing

[gobywan]

Small penises aren’t bad, balding isn’t bad, being short isn’t bad, being fat isn’t bad. Physical traits are not signs of morality, and the sooner people stop mocking people for their bodies (yes, even when they’re bad) the better.

[gobywan]

The absolute upper limit of what can be considered affordable for a home is 4x your income. Ideally it should be 3x, but 4x is the limit for reasonably stretching your budget.

Using Sacramento as an example, median home price is about $510k, and median household income is about $85,000

That number for Sacramento is 6x, and that's for a middling city with middling employment prospects. So the entire city for almost everyone living there is by definition unaffordable. And that's not as bad as it gets

Let's look at Toronto. Median income is around $91,000, median home price is just over $1,100,000. That's a ratio of 12:1. You would need to be making a quarter of a million dollars just to be able to qualify for a mortgage.

For a home to be affordable, one of two things need to happen: 1) incomes need to rise astronomically overnight or 2) home prices need to crash astronomically overnight

In Sacramento, that means the median income needs to double (to $170k per year), or home prices need to crash by 50%

In Toronto, that means incomes need to quadruple (to $370k per year) or home prices need to crash about 75%

This is how bad the housing crisis is. I don't think people truly understand the gravity of how bad it is. Home prices should not be this high. Incomes should not be this low. Look back 100 years and you won't find a time when affordability was this bad for everyone everywhere. Things must change