goddamnitgoose

[goddamnitgoose]

I found a powder that let's most liquids gel at body temperature konjak extract

[goddamnitgoose]

Oughhh this dialogue never fails to make me feel some type of way…..

[goddamnitgoose]

yesterday my tummy was so upset and loud, I was so sure that I was going to have bad diarrhea, but I was on the toilet for a really long time pushing as hard as I could while massaging my tummy and nothing would come out. I spent all day at work today trying to discreetly rub my tummy because it felt so sick and heavy, but I still couldn’t get anything out. Finally I got home a couple minutes ago and my guts started making crazy noises. I’ve been rubbing my tummy trying to break up what feels like big gas pockets

ohhh I had to stop filming because now I’m finally having diarrhea and it hurts so bad… there’s so much gushing out of me right now and tummy feels and sounds so sick. It feels good to finally get rid of almost a week’s worth of waste, but the cramps are hurting so bad and I don’t have anyone here to help rub my tummy :(

[goddamnitgoose]

Lower belly distress 😣

I can feel the gurgles/rumbles rip through my belly and theyre so loud. I can even feel them with my hands😖the cramping is terrible and i cant lay still

[goddamnitgoose]

One of the few sketches i've made o.0

[goddamnitgoose]

Happy Halloween!!!

Better be careful when you go haunted house exploring, you wouldn’t want to get possessed by any eager spirits……right?

[goddamnitgoose]

You are a streamer that lets chat decide your snacks while streaming with their channel points. One stream you are bombarded with redeems that force you to drink soda after soda the entire stream to the point that it affects your ability to play the game and even causes wardrobe malfunctions.

By the end of the stream my shirt would be rolled up just to cover my chest, my bubbling belly on full display for all of my viewers to see... I can't stop belching for even 20 seconds, trying to rub my belly to soothe it just a bit, the carbonation inside keeps stretching my intestines... And the soda requests just keep coming, while i burp and whine from how full i am. "Chat, please, listen to it!" as i move the microphone closer to my gut, a cacophony of various bassboosted roars and gurgles can be heard as i continue to belch and try to drink another bottle.

Finally, i see a donation that isn't a soda request! Oh... It's a request for a pack of mentos... After i just chugged 2 liters of diet coke ...

[goddamnitgoose]

THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH FOR THISSS

okay I'll share it 🥹

CW: labor and birth, spoilers for ffxiv Dawntrail

Erenville tried to catch his breath, fingers clutching at the nearest tree for stabilization. He could feel the flush along his skin, heat unpleasant as it had been the past couple of days - a fever, no more, no less, but it had caused everyone to fret and hover, as far along as he was. Irritating, unwanted attention. He had simply wanted to pay a visit to Living Memory - one last one before the child was born, no doubt - as a final moment spent as close as he could with where he last had his mother. He had gone out as quiet as a ghost, not desiring any supervision-

-a mistake, now, he realized.

The pains were unbearable. Journeying to Living Memory had brought some discomforts, but he had figured it was simply a manner of how much walking was involved. On his way back, however, he found himself unable to press forward as pressure mounted.

It was hard to steady his breathing. It was hard to blink the spots and dizziness from his vision. All he could focus on was an intense need to hide away, brace himself, and bear down.

("Yak T'el, the, the forest..." had been all he managed into the linkpearl before a deep groan built up in his throat. If anyone had responded, he didn't know, the communication device set aside with his trousers and the small pack he had brought for the trip.

They'd find him. Someone would find him. They had to.)

An aching keen escaped him as he lowered himself onto his knees, still braced against the tree. Its bark was cool, blessedly so.

Perhaps his fever was worse than he had thought.

"Come now, Elene'shpya. You can do it, you're doing wonderfully."

At the sound of a familiar voice, Erenville dared crack open an eye.

"M-Mother?"

No response but for an encouraging smile.

Perhaps the fever was worse than he had thought. Visions of the dead were never a good sign when one was feeling unwell.

"Just breathe, you've managed so well, little bunbun. A little more, and the worst will be past."

Dazedly, Erenville felt below, shocked to touch what could only be the infant's head. How long had he been laboring here? Minutes? Hours? All he could see around him was the blue of the trees, and the warmth of her smile.

Erenville did not try to stifle the agony that climbed out of his throat, limbs shaking as he tried to keep his purchase on the bark. What did his dignity matter, in the end? He could not help the cynicism. Maybe a Mamool Ja would hear him.

He was so dizzy. His mother's face had been indistinct before, but now it was blurred with the rest of his vision.

Even so, her voice reached him, a gentle sensation like a hand at the base of his ears. "You can do it, sweetheart. You found the golden city, you've done much harder things before."

With a strangled yell, Erenville let himself lean his shoulder into the tree, ignoring the pain of its force as he let his hands hold and coax the rest of the infant out with the push. All at once, pressure dissipated, body moving on autopilot to finally sit on the ground, pulling the newborn up and under his shirt to rest upon his skin as he dazedly sat back against the tree.

His hand set to rub and pat along the child's back as he felt his breathing come further undone, suddenly feeling chilled along with his fever. After but a moment or two, there was a small shuffle and demanding cry.

"Oh, I'm so proud of you! What strong lungs your child has. You did so well, Elene'shpya-"

This time, he could not blink the darkness out from his eyes.

-

Warmth. Overly warm, perhaps, but no longer cold. His head was resting upon someone's breast, a rhythmic motion swaying him while one arm kept about him tightly. A fabric was wrapped around him and the small weight he held close, the heat of whoever he was lying against desperately welcome in this moment. He was not sure what beast they were riding - chocobo, alpaca? - but he knew the scent of him anywhere, and instantly his nerves calmed. It was clear the other man could tell by the way the arm around him squeezed him closer for a moment.

"You're supposed to be the level-headed one, Erenville! What could have possibly possessed you to - no, I'll save this for when you're definitely listening. Trying to give us all a heart attack... It's a blessing that a Mamool Ja patrol found you when they did. The little one's okay - you're both okay. You might feel like shit right now, but - we'll make sure you're okay. Promise."

A tiny hand grasped at his skin, stimulated by their father's voice. Erenville could not help but agree with them, letting the sound of his love's words lull him back into an easy sleep.

[goddamnitgoose]

gale’s comfy pjs = maternity clothes

gale’s hunger for magical items = pregnancy cravings

[goddamnitgoose]

he won't shut up 🙈

(mpreg full image)

[goddamnitgoose]

life sucks when you're trying plot but you end up going into labour

[goddamnitgoose]

discovering a ridiculous kink but then feeling something 

[goddamnitgoose]

FFXIV Laz

Tis the season to celebrate Lazlo’s month of birth! The month he was born as well as the month his daughter is born too ;D I have an old comic I’ll be sharing, one of the firsts when it comes to depicting a bit of Lazlo lore. It’s just a simple 7 page comic, but I feel like it still holds up. Keep a lookout 💖

Posted using PostyBirb

[goddamnitgoose]

i heard you guys like cute pregnant boys who barely fit into their overalls <3

(he/him)

[goddamnitgoose]

fantasizing a lot lately about blissful, painless, intimate, orgasmic home births

just the eager parents together, close together, on a warm night so quiet you can practically hear the fireflies whizzing around. the lovers do clit stim, nipple stim, anything else that's a turn-on, and that's what helps things progress

no complications, no worries, just empowerment and tummy kisses

well wishes are rolling in through their phones from everyone they've ever spoken to but they haven't read a single one, their eyes are purely on each other and so are their lips

her pushing stage is like, 20 minutes tops. steady progress, loads of encouragement - she keeps at it, keeps at it; her sounds are deep and determined - she feels strong, opened, full, calm, ignited, ready, she feels it more and more and more - at the first peek of the head both their mouths burst open like a faultline in wonder - all the picking out baby names and painting their baby's room and wondering whose eyes they'll have and what they'll want for christmas and what their favorite songs are gonna be has led right to

the moment

oh yesssss it's ten times more electrifying, more invigorating, more luminous in every single cell of her, than even the night their little munchkin was conceived and she could swear a thousand times in a row that nothing, not even floating to heaven itself could beat this feeling, oh god, not if she lives five hundred years and then ten more but

...but then she holds them for the first time.

the first of so many.

[goddamnitgoose]

It's not pretty aesthetic whump, it's icky, so I can see why a lot of us don't bother with it but constipation really is underutilized in whump content

[goddamnitgoose]

There’s something about:

Raising a shirt to reveal a growing belly at an ultrasound

Turning to the side in a full length mirror to see how the bump is progressing

Sitting down with a hand draped over the belly because there’s no where else it can go

Wearing a bra that’s clearly too small during the last trimester

Gently cupping and rubbing the bottom of the swollen and sore belly in public (bonus points if the belly is hanging out a bit)