goddogsgothdoll - Tumblr blog

[goddogsgothdoll]

You send a dove white(pure)corruption

and my dorsal spine collapses

(So weak)

like a landslide in a tropical beauty

and

I just remade my life

in a semblance of structure

of normalcy

of happiness

and

I just wanna say come over

I still love you

I still believe in your goodness

I'm God complex lonely child just a ghost vermin & aloof tender flesh putrid bones still beating and bleeding doll heart hunger and

.

(Something more.

I'm building a town with just my bare hands and will to live.)

[goddogsgothdoll]

Child burned by fire and woman infatuated with bad habits II.

5.

•

6.

[goddogsgothdoll]

Child burned by fire and woman infatuated with bad habits I

1.

•

2.

•

3.

•

4.

•

[goddogsgothdoll]

[goddogsgothdoll]

[goddogsgothdoll]

Sometimes so sad sad sad sad. Don't know where it comes from, don't know what it means, don't know where it goes. Just sadness. Pointless sadness. A sadness that dries the heart. Want to cry the heart out. Empty the self from all this grime. But It seems it is stuck, forever to be kept in that box, closed with cold chains and cruel padlocks. A not-meant to heal wound, open but not quite bleeding. Feel this sullen despair, quiet, quiet, oh so still, like a stick of steel sinking in the tender warm flesh, struck piercing, keeps in place or the whole body will ache will burn will tear itself piece by piece. Inside there's a void, the abyss that devours and never gets enough. Starved, famished, ravenous, empty and full of rage of resentment, and else ill-feelings, infects the veins. A darned sickness. Malfuctionating brain; crumbling body.

;

Fear the day when it goes down and down. Turbulents water awaits to sink, to drown, desperately, lungs filling with thick fluid: Can't breath. Can't breath. Can feel the ribcage constricting-serpent like. Can feel her, lingering around like a sweet ghost, fingers barely touching skin, like teasing, like comforting, like lovingly scratching the shell of the scales in the chest. Hurts, hurts to the point of joy, of pleasure, of misery. Wanna break and wanna come undone and wanna cry a little harder and crumble all over the floor. Searching for a little sunshine, blind porcelain doll trying to climb up but just spinning down. So comically, so tragically, so pathetic. Pity them. Pity them all and burn them to the core. They whisper a single truth; there's no love worth for you my love.

[goddogsgothdoll]

Smth I did for ig and now Im posting it here cuz I rly like the result...

Poems are both from Alejandra Pizarnik; first one is "Exilio" and I'm the one reading it, second one is a fragment of her documentary film"Alejandra (2013)" and that's her own voice. The last audio is shitty cuz ofc it's an vry old record.

And the music is "A warm place" by NIN.

[goddogsgothdoll]

[goddogsgothdoll]

I was once young and dangerously infatuated,

it was not love but I still loved, with all my strange habits.

Sometimes I think I’m still in love, sometimes I know better,

sometimes the only thing I’ve left it’s something more red and fervent.

Most of the times I feel like I should be feeling something.

But that’s maybe because I’m unable to remember names.

[goddogsgothdoll]

[goddogsgothdoll]

--But the cold is here and has settle inside the tender red flesh and

into the wet of the bone, nesting and spreading like disease

and I am afraid there is no more summer to bloom nor more spring that can survive the sour

Because

the bitterness

is

a shadow that chews the pate, and the green sprout and the raw tendons, and

swallows down all the rest

to the root

is

acid dripping down my eyes from the mouth of a leak in the neglected room

is

a hole, obscene and all, black and all, and there isn't much to see except the same scene repeated on loop

is

eternal

and

relentless.

And there isn't much more but the absurd yearning for something that was once, for just one unforgettable second, sweet

And then run away to the endless night to lost itself

far away

but not so much because I can still see it from here.

So

In the nothingness of the coldest hour a limb goes incredibly numb so it crumbles down the floor so it kind of nest there so the cold won't catch it

But--

[goddogsgothdoll]

[goddogsgothdoll]

[goddogsgothdoll]

[goddogsgothdoll]