godisnottheonlyastronaut

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

"im tired of living through major historical events" is now "dear lord please let me witness a high profile political assassination in the next 1-2 years. amen"

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

Broken Elbow

Broken like the elbow that snapped skating last month 

I still don’t know what I’m going to do next year 

Waiting for a sign that things might get better 

But the husks of days past rise past my ears Falling through the air like a dead bird 

Stumbling down the stairs like a drunk 

I threw up on new years eve and hated myself more than normal 

I don’t give a fuck about your comforting words How could I? 

I’ll always hang myself out to dry like forgotten laundry

Up so long that the house has fallen down 

Abandoned yards and overgrown fences 

Rotting wood and rotting bones beneath the floors 

Don’t worry, on my way out I’ll cut the lights and lock the fucking door 

I haven’t learned how to move yet 

Pack the U-Haul from dead to dying 

Maybe New York and my mind aren’t a safe bet 

I’m not done, I’m not done living I won’t be done until I’m dead  

As Ian Anderson once said I’m “feeling like a dead duck” 

Maybe I’m feeling like a stupid fuck 

Believing that things are going to get better 

When everything points to it all getting worse 

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

Okay, here we go. Thanks to @burberrycanary for the tag!

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Not a Perfect Soldier -- 93k | M | Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers | MCU

Summary: In a world where HYDRA was wiped out in the '40s, Steve is found by the Army rather than SHIELD. General Thaddeus Ross wants a perfectly obedient super-soldier at his command, and to that end, he sets out to break Steve to his will. As Steve struggles to come to terms with all he has lost, his life in captivity is only made bearable by the presence of another prisoner-- another super-soldier known only as "Soldat". Then the Avengers strike a deal with Ross to "borrow" him for missions, and Steve is faced with a team who dislikes him, an organization he doesn't trust, and the question of what he's willing to do to escape Ross's clutches. This is probably still my favorite of the fics I've written, as it included a lot of themes/tropes that I enjoy reading as well as writing. It was a really interesting challenge to handle Steve and Bucky's separate traumas, and the various misunderstandings between Steve and the Avengers. This was also my first time writing Jewish Bucky in a way that really focused on that aspect of his identity, and I'm really grateful to siyuttov for their help in making that part of the story more accurate. I'm also really proud of the fact that I wrote a novel-length fic!

You Can Touch -- 3k | E | Bucky Barnes/Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers | MCU

Summary: She opens the door almost as soon as he knocks, ushering him inside before he can say anything. Her hair is partway down, her jacket and tie folded neatly over the back of a chair. She was getting ready for bed, he supposes, or at least planning to stay in for the night. Steve is in a meeting. Bucky goes to visit Peggy. There are three fics in this series, but this one has a special place in my heart. This was my first fic where I really tried to get explicit, and it was also different from my usual Steve/Bucky-focused fics in that most of the fic is just Bucky/Peggy (Steve comes in at the end). I really loved writing the developing intimacy between Bucky and Peggy, and there's always something fascinating to me about characters choosing to be vulnerable with each other, and taking care of each other/allowing themselves to be taken care of.

The Kind You Save -- 37k | M | Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson | MCU

Summary: When HYDRA sends the Winter Soldiers to assassinate the new Captain America, they expect the mission to be an easy one. After all, they're super-soldiers-- how hard can it be to kill one unenhanced human? As more and more of their attempts prove unsuccessful, however, the Soldiers' respect for Wilson grows, as does their suspicion that HYDRA's motives are not what they seem. If Sam Wilson is a good man, what does that make them…? I really love playing with the concept of Steve as the Winter Soldier. I also love Sam Wilson as Captain America. So Steve and Bucky as Winter Soldiers who first attempt to assassinate Sam, then start to fall for him as they realize what a good person he is, was great fun for me! It was really interesting to figure out what Steve's personality as the Winter Soldier might be like, and how his and Bucky's dynamic might work if they were both brainwashed. And it was great getting to write Sam as the hero he is!

Brave Soldier Boy (Comes Marching Home) -- 2k | G | Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers | MCU

Summary: Ten years after losing her son in the war, Winnifred Barnes receives an unexpected visitor. The Winter Soldier needs her help with an important mission. This story is from the point of view of Winnifred Barnes, which I really enjoyed writing! Mothers in the MCU tend to be dead if they're mentioned at all, and I really enjoyed giving Winnifred (and the rest of Bucky's family) a chance to shine. Several people told me they were nervous to read this because of the title, but it has a happy ending!

Let Me Touch You for Awhile -- 2k | T | Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers | MCU

As Bucky heals from his experiences as the Winter Soldier, he begins to remember some of the things he's been missing out on-- specifically, the fact that Steve and Bucky used to be comfortable touching each other, whether it was an arm around the shoulders or a hug goodbye. But Steve in the present day seems determined to give Bucky space... much more space than Bucky wants. Can Bucky work up the courage to ask for the physical intimacy he craves? Set after an Infinity War that ended differently, with the Avengers and co. defeating Thanos before he had the chance to Snap. I'm a huge fan of touch-starved Bucky, but I'd never written a fic that just focuses on that, so I really enjoyed writing this! This is also a bit of a fix-it with everyone surviving Infinity War (and no Endgame), and I liked getting the chance to write a cameo of Natasha and Yelena's relationship.

@elvenfforestydd, @h-i-raeth, @16woodsequ, @lycorogue, @xemiliagryphonx, @planeoftheeclectic, and anyone else who'd like to join in, please play if you want to!

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

Feel like I am starting to get good at this photography thing.

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

idk this looks like somethoung out of scifi

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

Tried learning home development

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

this is perfection

cannot stop thinking about this skit from the new i think you should leave season

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

I’ve found that color photography on overcast sky gets boring. Black and white, IMO, handles flat color better, but in general shooting in lighting that creates stronger contrast between shadows and highlights is much easier to get shots I like. This one is alright, but the flatness of the sky kind of kills it for me.

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

the cognitive dissonance from people who want the products of modern medicine but get weird about animal research. like im sorry but this is necessary for the survival of the society we currently live in. and the scientists who work on these things are not evil cackling psychopaths. anyone you talk to in animal research has incredibly complex feelings about their work and incredibly complex relationships to the animals in their care. there are regulations and oversight and penalties in place to make the work as humane as possible and scientists are overwhelmingly the ones enforcing and advocating for better care.

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

Accidental perfection from the #cinestill800t

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

“If this hurts my shows I’m gonna riot” “they better not cancel my favorite show” “this is so selfish I NEED this show” “what about my mental health now that they—“

So you agree. Show-writers are important to you and to the industry and should be compensated accordingly for their important work.

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

I’ve been working on thinking more seriously about each composition. Paying better attention to shadows and light, thinking more about where different shapes and colors fit scenes, etc. I’m very happy with both of these.

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

Also they weren’t really wrong about the economic and resource-based concerns either re: US need for oil and other natural resources available in abundance in the Middle East.

Not to talk about week-old discourse on a years-old reblog but I really just do not buy the idea that a reasonably politically aware person in 2003 could not find a leftist (or even just slightly left-of-the-USAian-center) position against the Iraq war that didn't rely on a bunch of icky anarchists chanting "No Blood For Oil."

If absolutely nothing else, it was fucking impossible to ignore the fact that France (as well as Germany, Belgium, Mexico, Canada, and a whole bunch of other countries but France is the one that got proto-meme'd) had a perfectly reasonable critique of condoning a US war of aggression against Iraq, namely that the UN investigation into claims of WMDs was not complete, they thought there were better ways to convince Saddam Hussein to comply with the investigation than an outright war, and the US/British evidence suggesting that Iraq was building a nuclear arsenal was pretty garbage.

Saying "well, the only people protesting the war were targeting obvious strawmen and history shows that the US wasn't *actually* gunning for oil" completely overlooks the fact that Republicans in congress were so fucking offended by UN member states criticizing their warmongering that they renamed french fries and plunged us into an inescapable vortex of patriotic cringe. If you were mocking Freedom Fries at the time, you were doing so with the knowledge that France did not support the US war in Iraq and if you put even the tiniest bit of thought into that stance you either realized that the issue was much more nuanced than a bunch of white suburban kids in black hoodies yelling about Dick Cheney, or you were an idiot.

[godisnottheonlyastronaut]

Not "I always knew I was different", not "I thought it was normal", but a secret third thing: it never occurred to me to think about whether it was normal until I was forced to, usually in a cruel way