godlyicarus

[godlyicarus]

I’m tired of moving on… can god give me something to hold onto for a change

[godlyicarus]

but my heart is like a claw machine ........ its only function is to reach

[godlyicarus]

this wouldn't be happening if i had a mentor that was deeply interested in me and my life and guided me with a firm hand even when i was overwhelmed. whatever.

[godlyicarus]

when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

[godlyicarus]

[godlyicarus]

would you still like me even if i experienced emotions

[godlyicarus]

[godlyicarus]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[godlyicarus]

[godlyicarus]

[godlyicarus]

screaming, crying, throwing up, as I force myself to write a story i'm very passionate about and love writing and have no obligation to write except that i want to

[godlyicarus]

DEV PATEL as THE KID

Monkey Man (2024) dir. Dev Patel

[godlyicarus]

[godlyicarus]

[godlyicarus]

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

[godlyicarus]