going-in-spirals

[going-in-spirals]

I think any marriage needs its running jokes, ones that you can repeat with variations, or make callbacks too.

One of my favorite bits is describing the romcoms I watch to my wife as though I have never heard of a narrative in my life.

"She runs a small plane company, and he's from a major airline trying to shut her down, so it's really anyone's guess what's going to happen."

"Get this, he's a stuffy office dork and she's a free spirit, and they end up stuck in the same cabin on a cruise. Sounds like a disaster, right?"

"They've decided to pair up and be each other's plus one at a series of weddings to feel less pathetic, but it's not like they like each other or anything."

So I told my wife that I hoped she would still enjoy me doing this bit forty years from now, and she smiled and held my hand and said that she'd never liked it, not even the first time.

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handmade ceramic mug by @/shy.jpeg on Instagram

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“do we think maybe a vegetable would cause less despair” still living in my head rent free

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Prince: I wish to marry!

Queen: Only if she can pass my test: failing to sleep on a bed with a pea under it!

Prince: Why are you screening for princesses with sensory issues?

Queen: She must be true royalty! Only the most autistic girl in all the land shall marry my son!

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you've got mail (1998)

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Nooo its just a tramp stamp of a zombie bite haha :) swats your hand away with inhuman strength that surprises even me

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this shit is the only remaining good part of twitter

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(genuinely offended) "I trust all of my viziers"

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it's simple really: october is for horror movies with highly stylized villains and iconic monsters because they make for good costumes. early november is for gothic horror because of the fog and decay etc. late november is for zombies (commentary on consumerist culture). december is for psychological horror and stuff where they're trapped in a room because that's when you have to go to holiday parties with your family.

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Y'all ever open a book on a new subject, read a little bit, and have to put it back so you can process the way in which your mind was just expanded?

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I read "Jesus" at first and was very confused. mostly at who Jesus would work for.

Modern Jeeves would be like, yesterday my employer told me that I was "giving stuffed frog." I hesitate to hazard a guess as to what that even means.

[going-in-spirals]

oh and that gap in my resume is when i was digging my own grave

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Something that I get chills about is the fact that the oldest story told made by the oldest civilization opens with "In those days, in those distant days, in those ancient nights."

This confirms that there is a civilization older than the Sumerians that we have yet to find

Some people get existential dread from this

Me? I think it's fucking awesome it shows just how much of this world we have yet to discover and that is just fascinating