goldberg-machine

[goldberg-machine]

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

[goldberg-machine]

Do you not see why people believe astrology tho??

so i'm a custodian.

whenever someone does something cool like shit on the bathroom floor or get blood all over a toilet, i have to close the bathroom down by blocking the doorway with a CLOSED sign.

this sign is big and bright. it says CLOSED in four languages and has a do not enter symbol. it completely blocks the doorway. the only way to enter is to look directly at the sign and either move it or climb over it.

almost every single time i shut down a bathroom so i can suit up and clean a biohazard, someone will enter the bathroom with a dead-eyed, slack-jawed expression and try to wordlessly walk past me to use a stall.

and every single time, i have to block their path and say, "this bathroom is closed. there is one directly down the hall, marked by signs. please leave," and they either try to argue that THEY specifically should be allowed to use this one, as if they are god's most special little guy, or express shock even though they, again, had to contend with the CLOSED sign to enter.

often, i am standing there in the middle of cleaning up bodily fluids having to firmly repeat myself. they always leave angry or confused.

anyways, you clicked this button to send me an ask about astrology:

[goldberg-machine]

working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”

[goldberg-machine]

You idiot…………… You just fed that american a Slutburger.

[goldberg-machine]

[goldberg-machine]

this scene

[goldberg-machine]

Long Live the King

[goldberg-machine]

she’s so cool

[goldberg-machine]

[goldberg-machine]

has anyone done this yet

[goldberg-machine]

i feel like no one really wants to hear that sleep/exercise/nutrition/hydration are major factors in treating mental health issues bc we’ve all talked to that person who thinks your depression would be cured by one good session of goat yoga or whatever but unfortunately they do help and i’m chronically annoyed about it

[goldberg-machine]

If you’re using Skype you should dump it and get Discord instead!

Pros:

Cleaner, easier to navigate interface

Free servers for more permanent group chat things (way easier to hop in and out of chats)

You can actually have different nicknames on each server if you want

Is actually well built and doesn’t make your computer yearn for death

Stuff coming down the pipeline soon according to devs:

Video chat

Linux client

Cons:

All your friends aren’t on it

But you can change that

Download it. It’s great and it’s only getting better. It’s aimed at gamers but it has nearly all the functionality of Skype and then some.

[goldberg-machine]

Are we meat, are we the viewer?

[goldberg-machine]

let's get one thing clear. estrogen would not save berdly. it would make her equally as annoying in a completely different way. being able to call herself a gamer girl would unlock unfathomable power of annoyance. she'd use japanese honorifics and pronounce all of them wrong. she would unironically say "passoid."

[goldberg-machine]

we need to invent a way to explain how deep running and pervasive and subliminal racism and antiblackness is without immediately sounding like an insane conspiracy theorist