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Breakdown

I can’t tell you what it’s like to have bones of steel and tough skin wrapped around the utterly unstable shaky earthquake fragility inside of me

I am trying hard not to break even though I am a falling vase and when I feel vertigo pulling me towards the table’s edge I have only five seconds til the crash

Then I will be pulling over to the side of the road sitting on the curb putting my hands in my head then everything becomes a stimulus I cannot tolerate music, voices, light, movement spiraling into hysteria as anxiety ignites like a forest doused in gasoline

I have no words just a desperate mantra I chant in frenzied circles like a monk who has lost faith this is happening this is happening

I don’t believe it will be fine It will not be ok it is trauma nothing less and a can do nothing but hold my breath and to learn to live like this.

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[goldkelly]

https://instagram.com/p/BKywLCojHF9/

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Adam Lippes

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Acne Studios SPRING 2021 READY-TO-WEAR

Vogue

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A.L.C. SPRING 2021 READY-TO-WEAR

Vogue

[goldkelly]

A.L.C. SPRING 2021 READY-TO-WEAR

Source: Vogue

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by Evan Holm