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[goldmended-blog]

let-men-eat-cake‌:

Following after Ryan quickly, Charles shuffled his stuff up close to his chest, walking out of the room. The young man paces behind the older man, careful to not walk too close to him, but also to maintain a steady pace behind him. It was important to be respectful to the upperclassmen, after all. “H-How long have you been taking photos?” he murmured, his eyes flickering around the campus as they moved closer to the other hall. Aside from going to classes and practice, Charles tended to keep to himself in his dorm, so he wasn’t too familiar with the place just yet.

          “ a while, ” ryan says, sending a gaze back at the freshman clearly overthinking things from his point of view ( but there’s nothing he can do about that --- comfort comes with time and familiarity ). “ i always dabbled in it but i’ve been doing it a lot more since i came to adams. ” there are reasons for that, obviously, but ryan’s apt at letting people draw their own conclusions from incomplete truths --- it’s better than LYING. “ guess most here like to be IN FRONT of the camera, not behind it, y’know ? ”

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pirctesmile‌:

‘‘You smoked my weed, I get to call you whatever I want for the next ten minutes,’‘ he told the other, blinking while keeping a straight face at the other male’s request. He will just avoid saying his name, or any type of nickname, from now on. ‘‘— a good story, and yet here you are, enjoying a moment of silence on a roof with me,’‘ if only he could shut it, then Ryan would really be able to listen to the sound of silence (and buzzing music underneath them). It wasn’t silent at all. ‘’I mean, enjoying sounds like a stretch here,’’ Gabe added, his right hand moving to his shoulder where he grabbed the jacket he just draped himself with, before tugging it in front of him and handing it back to it’s rightful owner. ‘’I’m going in,’’ he didn’t particularly feel like it, but sensed that Ryan wanted to be alone, and he wasn’t the type to push his company down people’s throat. 

          it wasn’t gabriel so much as everything else --- ryan should’ve known enough to stay away or at least not sneak out onto rooftops that brought mix of nostalgia both comforting and painful. he takes back his jacket, drops it across his lap and raises his gaze to meet the other’s. “ --- is this where i say it’s not YOU, it’s me ? ” he quips with a quirk of a smile --- humorless. “ i wasn’t chasing you AWAY, y’know. ” he doesn’t reach out, though. ryan’s not one to chase, not really ; not one to do much nowadays unless it’s improbable stories and someone to BLAME it seems. “ besides, i don’t think you really want to go back in and do a keg stand. ”

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pirctesmile‌:

‘‘it’s not that cold when you aren’t skin and bones,’‘ he pointed himself, letting go of a rusty chuckle as he looked at Ryan. He mentioned his jacket, but didn’t expect the other to shrug it off his shoulders and press it towards him. However, he didn’t complain about it and wrapped the red jacket over him, without sliding his arms into the sleeves. ‘‘I’ll hand it back to you before getting back into the building, it’s a promise. Otherwise, you can always tackle me to the ground, both options will result in you not losing your belongings to me,’’ he wrinkled up his nose as he smiled at him. He was glad he chose to spend more time on the roof, away from the buzzing crowd at the party. ‘’So, Ry, what brought you here tonight? You party animal, you,’’ he added with a snort.

          ryan stretches out on the roof, legs extended before him as he settles back on his hands and lets out a long sigh. “ nah ------ football was never really my sport. lucky for you, i guess. you’d get away with it ---- NICE jacket. ” it’s not often that he lets time stretch out like this, something like contentedness curling lazily between his ribs ( most days now are cold, a damp numbing cold not the blistering kind that used to make him feel so ALIVE ). it’s nice. head tilts up toward the sky once again, neck long in the dim campus light. “ RYAN to you, gabriel --- ” there’s not real heat in the reminder though. “ who knows ; horny, over-stressed kids, alcohol --------- sounds like a mix for a good STORY to me. ”

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pirctesmile‌:

‘‘it’s not that cold when you aren’t skin and bones,’‘ he pointed himself, letting go of a rusty chuckle as he looked at Ryan. He mentioned his jacket, but didn’t expect the other to shrug it off his shoulders and press it towards him. However, he didn’t complain about it and wrapped the red jacket over him, without sliding his arms into the sleeves. ‘‘I’ll hand it back to you before getting back into the building, it’s a promise. Otherwise, you can always tackle me to the ground, both options will result in you not losing your belongings to me,’’ he wrinkled up his nose as he smiled at him. He was glad he chose to spend more time on the roof, away from the buzzing crowd at the party. ‘’So, Ry, what brought you here tonight? You party animal, you,’’ he added with a snort.

          ryan stretches out on the roof, legs extended before him as he settles back on his hands and lets out a long sigh. “ nah ----- football was never really my sport. lucky for you, i guess. you’d get away with it --- NICE jacket. ” it’s not often that he lets time stretch out like this, something like contentedness curling lazily between his ribs ( most days are cold, a damp numbing cold not the blistering kind that used to make him feel so ALIVE ). it’s nice. head tilts up toward the sky once again, neck long in the dim campus light. “ RYAN to you ------ who knows, horny, over-stressed kids, alcohol --- sounds like a mix for a good STORY to me. ”

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let-men-eat-cake‌:

Charles blinked in surprise as Ryan stands up, following suit as he scooped up the book in his arms and the backpack over his other shoulder. “A-Ah, o-okay,” he stammered, surprised at the offer. He hadn’t really gone to any of the upperclassmen’s places. But with the offer, Charles wasn’t really in a position to refuse, was he? “I, uh, o-okay. I… Is it alright if I go over? W-Would your suitemates… be okay with it?” he mumbled, not entirely sure how the school dynamics worked yet.

          ryan pushes his chair back in with the toe of his sneaker, the wood scraping against the tiled floor. he resists the urge to laugh again as regards the freshman with a faintly bemused expression, not wanting to offend. not fitting in is a position he’s been in before ( not being good enough, feeling so surrounded by TALENT it was blinding ). “ don’t overthink it, man, ” he says finally, “ c’mon. ” he gives a small jerk of his head before heading off in the right direction, trusting charles to follow.

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let-men-eat-cake‌:

He peered at Ryan curiously at the other’s soft remark, though he doesn’t press any more on that. Charles only scratched at his chin awkwardly, nodding in agreement. It wasn’t hard for him to see himself as imperfect; he didn’t think that would change any time soon. The freshman’s eyes brightened up a bit at the sight of Ryan’s smile. It set him at ease, and he was thrilled that the other was alright with his request. “Yeah, I have time,” he said with a small nod, tucking his book away. “Where should we go to look at the photos then?” Charles asked quietly.

          ryan thinks for a moment as he stands, collecting his cameras from the table. shoulders rise in a shrug as he slings a strap over one. he’d been out shooting for a while and hadn’t brought much with him so it didn’t weigh him down. as far as his photography goes, there’s really only one option that’s not googling his name on the bulletin website. he straightens, motions in the general direction behind him, “ ham isn’t far from here --- c’mon, you’ll also get to see the junior digs you get to look forward to. ”

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let-men-eat-cake‌:

“I don’t think I’m perfect at all,” Charles quickly said, trying to back-peddle on his earlier statement. “I… I…” He wasn’t sure why he didn’t like his picture being taken. Perhaps he was just too used to being around his brother when they had pictures taken as kids, and now that he wasn’t here… it made him feel uncomfortable. “…Do you mind… if I see some of your photos?” he asked quietly, wondering if he was overstepping the bounds. Charles leaned in though, clearly curious about the other man’s work, his eyes betraying just how intrigued he was.

     “ no ----- you definitely don’t. ” muses ryan, more to himself than anything. there’s a pause before he tacks on a cryptic, even quiter “ try not to lose track of that. ” it’s refreshing to see, really --- ryan’s spent most of his life around people who thought they were PERFECT ( and that long before he came to adams --- HOCKEY after all, is a rich white boy’s sport ) ; and maybe, there was a time he was like that too, but life comes at you fast sometimes. his gaze rises to meet charles’ directly at the request, a genuine smile crossing his face. “ 'COURSE NOT --- you got a minute though? this tiny-ass screen won’t do them justice. ” he waves his camera in way of explanation.

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pirctesmile‌:

‘‘I’m not a keg stand kind of guy, but I’d love to know what gave you that vibe,’‘ he commented with a chuckle. Gabriel took back the joint, but only to throw it off the roof cause he didn’t feel like smoking anymore. It was almost done, anyway. ‘‘is it really what it is? I’ve learned within’ the years that people who claim to be difficult to please are, more often than not, refusing to let loose and be satisfied. You probably haven’t found your thing,’‘ he commented with a shrug of his own, a teasing tone tainting his voice. ‘‘It’s getting cold in here, you wanna go back or offer me your jacket?’‘ He snorted, pointing the bathroom window by moving a thumb over his shoulder. It was behind them.

          “ SHOT IN THE DARK ---- sometimes you miss. ” he watches the joint disappear off the edge of the roof ; regretting a little not holding onto it even if there were only a couple drags left in it. lips set into a frown, a familiar expression nowadays. “ maybe---- ” he says simply, though that doesn’t even begin to encompass the whole truth festering skin deep. ( he had a THING --- once ). ryan isn’t the type to share, certainly not on the rooftops of a sophomore rager --- even if the boy is cute and the way the darkness wraps around the campus buildings makes everything feel a little surreal. “ ----maybe not. ” gaze does finally wander back to the other at the question, a snort of a laugh escaping at that. “ it’s not that cold. ” ryan shrugs off his red soft-shell jacket, a relic from easier times in boston, and presses it toward him.  “ i’m going to make sure i get it back though. ”

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coldcashs‌:

                   “   fine   !   ”   grip   tightens   around   the   racquets   handle   .   medusa   :   her   glare   reborn   in   the   shape   of   golden   youth   .   white   teeth   teen   .   cold   and   calculating   .   calculating   .   he   hits   the   ball   cross  -   court   ,   seemingly   aimed   towards   the   photographer   himself   ,   however   it   cleanly   bounces   near   the   equipment   ,   and   rolls   the   other   way   .   marble   carved   features   smile   ,   halo   of   light   .   angelic   .   “    —   is   that   candid   enough   for   you   ?    ”

          not for the first time, ryan wonders why he offered to cover the photos for this article --- while YES, sports photography was something he was good at,  he doesn’t even like tennis and he certainly didn’t like the amount of time he was dedicating to this. still, despite all his annoyance, he was still a stickler for perfection. “ SURE, ” he says, laboriously lifting his camera again, “ we’ll go with that. ” ( he does snap a quick photo as spencer is talking, though --- the light is good, the smile --no matter how fake-- still enough to make anyone swoon. he has a feeling their editor will pick that one and plaster it on the front page against ryan’s better judgement ). “ let’s just get a couple more of you serving, ” he suggests with an admirable attempt at keeping his voice even.

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let-men-eat-cake‌:

The quiet man peered at the camera screen when Ryan flipped the camera over to show him the photo. He furrowed his brows, trying to determine whether or not it really was a good photo. Charles wasn’t exactly fond of looking at photos of himself, but even he could appreciate the photographic skills of the other man. “Don’t people look funny sometimes in candids?” he mumbled, though he slowly uncrossed his arms over his chest, trying to be less tense. It wasn’t that he was nervous or anything. Part of him was just worried what the repercussions would be if he got too close to someone.

          “ maybe, ” says ryan, attention back on clicking back through his photos. “ but maybe that’s the point --- no one’s supposed to be perfect all the time. more REAL, y’know ? ” though, now that he thinks about it, he does have several candids that will probably never see the light of day if he wants to remain unnoticed. a SHAME really. ( maybe some anonymous posting will need to be done... now that’s a thought ). “ i take a lot of the athletics photos, and between you and me, MOST of them are caught at the wrong moment. ”

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          // @coldcashs //     “ STOP posing --- ” ryan lowers his camera for what feels like the millionth time. he’s starting to get annoyed --- some combination of the heat from being on the tennis courts too long, frustration with his subject, and the knowledge that he still has 73 pages of history to read before tomorrow. “ CANDIDS. they want candids, not --- ” he waves his hand vaguely, “whatever you’re doing. ”

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let-men-eat-cake‌:

Charles blinks in surprise as he watched Ryan lift the camera and snap a few photos of him. The freshman’s face flushes up a bit, realizing how he must look with his disheveled hair and book to his chest. “Y-You didn’t warn me…” he accused, casting a rather hurt gaze over at the other man’s direction. “Do you do the whole… film processing thing too?” he murmured, mimicking the movement of making prints from film in a darkroom.

          “ RELAX --- ” ryan repeats, a ghost of a smirk curving his lips as he lowers the camera. fingers nimbly tap at the buttons on screen to view the photos. the first isn’t in focus, but the second is more than salvageable -- makes him pause and consider the lines of charles’ face. “ candids are better anyways. ” he hesitates for a second and then extends the camera toward charles showing the photo on the small screen as if to say see ? not so bad. “ nowadays it’s mostly digital, but who knows, maybe i’ll get back into the darkroom someday. ”

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Lorenzo Zurzolo in Baby (2018—)

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pirctesmile‌:

‘‘you don’t make it sound like it’s something I should look up to,’‘ he added when the other male mentioned the sophomore drama. the freshman smirked at ryan, small, glossy eyes giving him some kind of boyish charm. ‘‘are they doing keg stands, already?’‘ he scoffed into the crook of his arm while keeping his attention on the male next to him. ‘‘you don’t let people show you a good time, or you’re just jaded on a daily basis?’‘ he was right, he couldn’t tell the last time he looked like he was enjoying himself. 

          head tilts up toward the sky as he lets out a long exhale. there’s a smattering of stars washed overheard that haven’t been smudged out by the oncoming clouds. smoke tumbles out into cool air along with a soft breathy laugh devoid of any real humor. “ you’ll survive --- it’s no different than any other drama, really. besides you can always do a keg stand yourself to forget it. ” ryan offers back the joint between slim fingers, leaning dangerously forward as if he can see any of the action below. they are in fact doing keg stands. his gaze returns to the horizon as he adds, “ i guess ---- you can say i’m DIFFICULT to please. ” shoulders rise in a shrug ( not quite a lie, not quite the truth ).

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pirctesmile‌:

‘‘most of them aren’t paying attention,’‘ most of them don’t plan to walk home, anyway. Gabriel’s attention shifted to the sky, where he noticed the clouds slowly gathering over their heads, his nose scrunching up at the idea of having to get back inside. The night was young, and he felt oddly comfortable sitting with his legs crossed on top of the building’s roof. ‘‘you don’t look like you were enjoying yourself. Didn’t you find your way to the free tequila stand offered by one of the Kennedy brothers — or both.’‘ He wasn’t sure who decided to throw the party in the first place. He handed him the joint. 

     a wry grin twists briefly across his lips, “ do i ever look like i’m having fun ? ” he’s not here to get drunk like the rest of the masses, maybe not even here for a good time. parties are where the stories are at, where people get the most interesting when they absorb in their environment. it’s also true he hasn’t gotten properly DRUNK since that fateful night when everything went wrong --- three lost weeks and a ruined dream seemed like good enough reason not to ; besides, he doesn’t think he’s supposed to mix his medication with alcohol. the joint though, is tempting, and after a brief hesitation he takes it, drawing in a brief drag. he stretches his right leg out before him, “ got too tired of the sophomore drama, yourself ? ”

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pirctesmile‌:

‘‘careful not to fall down,’‘ gabriel warned the other male as he brought the joint to his lips. the party was getting loud, and the only place where he could find temporary peace of mind was on the roof of the Windsor Hall’s building. the Kennedy brothers sure knew how to throw a party, but between the shots of tequila and the grindin’ against sophomores, he was glad he was able to climb out of the bathroom’s window to enjoy the sight of an oddly calm campus. Adams sure looked good under the moonlight. 

     this FEELS familiar, bringing back fuzzy memories of nights in plymouth and sneaking out of his billet family’s home. back then things seemed easier, more cut and dry and wrapped in perpetual warmth. adams rolls out peacefully before them, the kind that makes ryan itchy to capture it in digital pictures, but he only has his phone on him and it doesn’t seem fair to try to butcher the subtleties of light with such a tiny lens. “ maybe i won’t have to do my homework if i do, ” he says dryly, but eases gently down into a sitting position against the asphalt shingles --- mindful of the ache he feels in his leg. “ it’s going to rain soon --- ” he adds, “ hope no one was banking on a dry walk home. ”

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let-men-eat-cake‌:

He glanced up as he felt the other man’s shoe bump against his chair. Charles’ gaze softened a little as he saw that it was Ryan. They weren’t exactly the closest, but he preferred the members of the school bulletin. It felt less overwhelming for him. “Y-Yeah…” he murmured, the young man’s eyes flickering over to the two cameras on the older student. “That’s… a lot of photos…” he managed to get out, gesturing towards the various devices on Ryan.

          the fraction of ease that enters charles’ expression doesn’t escape ryan, and for a brief moment, there’s that fraction of pride he felt when he’d had an assistant captain’s A on his chest, but he’s learned by now not to dwell on those figments of the past. he shrugs,“ close-range, portrait, action, ” the camera in his hand is placed on the table as he retrieves the other from his shoulder.  a hint of smile crosses his face as he frames charles and idly snaps a couple. “ tools are only as good as the people that use them, but they definitely don’t HURT, either. ”