gonnabesyk - Tumblr blog

[gonnabesyk]

Oh, what a shame that your pockets did bleed on St. Valentine's And you sat in a chair thinking, "boy, I'm such a prince" Well, life's a train that goes from February on, day by day But it's making a stop on April first

And you will believe in love And all that it's supposed to be But just until the fish start to smell And you're struck down by a hammer

Sure, you were swift when the handsome Greek boys dropped by with gifts You are suave thanks to ribbons that open sesame But in the stars and closer to home in every planet It ain't hard for me and dear JoJo to see

That you will believe in love And all that it's supposed to be But just until the fish start to smell And you're struck down by a hammer So let it all go by Looking at the sky Wondering if there's clouds and stuff in hell Let it all go by (Looking at the sky) Looking at the sky (Wondering if there's clouds and stuff in hell) Wondering if there are clouds in hell And you will believe in love And all that it's supposed to be Yes, you will believe in love

Girl, you will believe in love And all that it's supposed to be Yes, you will believe in love But you will believe in love And all that it's supposed to be Yes, you will believe in love And you will believe in love And all that it's supposed to be Yes, you will believe in love

[gonnabesyk]

I will never be as cute as you According to the board of human relations I will never fly as high as you According to the board of public citations  These are just the rules and regulations Of the birds, and the bees The earth, and the trees Not to mention, the gods Not to mention the gods All my little life, I’ve wanted to roam (even if it was just inside my own home) Then one little day, I chanced to look back Saw you sittin’ there bein’ a sad culprit These are just the rules and regulations Of the birds, and the bees The earth, and the trees Not to mention, the gods Not to mention the gods These are just the rules and regulations Yeah, these are just the rules and regulations And I, like everyone Yes, I, like everyone Must follow

[gonnabesyk]

We’ve been watching a lot of Robert E. Fuller’s videos on Youtube (and checking the stoat cam regularly!) and I’ve been inspired to make another stoat character, oh no ;____;

Her name is gonna be Molasses. Why? Because I love molasses cookies! And.. that dark patch of fur some stoats have on their face reminds me of molasses..

I have such an appreciation for these mischievous little egg thieves. They’re agile, intelligent, graceful, and fierce. What’s not to love? 

[gonnabesyk]

A lot has happened in The Witcher 3 since I last posted! 

I’m on a boat bound for Skellige right now - when I turned the game off, we had just been attacked by pirates. I’m excited to see what happens next!

So, I searched Novigrad for Ciri.. In the process, I met another Godling (named Sarah, who likes nightmares!!!), I killed Whoreson Junior without a second thought, encountered a cross-dressing elf that may or may not have hooked up with Dandelion at one point, and slaughtered Menge (and all of his men) because they were treating Triss like a slab of meat. Oh yeah, and I was introduced to a precious troll named Bart while investigating Sigi Reuven’s empty vault. Bart turdy dump

Two of my favourite characters so far: Sukrus and Zoltan. I met Sukrus while attempting to complete a secondary quest (suggested level: 24) at level 14. Thankfully the only enemies were a group of dwarves who moved and attacked very slowly. It took about 10 minutes to kill them all, but I managed! Anyway, Sukrus is badass!

Zoltan is just... lovable, in every way. He lacks a verbal filter - some of his dialogue had me in stitches. I’m a sucker for a character who’s rough around the edges, but deep down, possesses a kind heart. I thought he was Dandelion’s lover at first, hahah. Speaking of whom.. I was surprised to learn Dandelion’s popular with the ladies? I assumed he was very... very gay. Huh. Blew my mind when I realised Dandelion is the one narrating the story (and the one who wrote the character bios in the glossary!). 

Augh, I should have been writing stuff down as I went along! I finished so many quests over the past 72 hours, I honestly can’t remember half of what happened

I’ll tell you something I didn’t forget, though: Dudu. Guy’s name is literally shit. Might as well be calling him poopoo or turds. Nooo idea how the voice actors kept from cracking up when saying his name

Some final, random thoughts:

- Oxenfurt looks like a place I dreamt about once. I stood there and stared at the sails on the boats for way too long. Entrancing

- I remember when I thought Saint Denis was the biggest, most impressive town I’d ever seen in a video game. Then I saw Novigrad... This city is IMMENSE! Not only that, but it feels more alive than any of the towns in Skyrim or RDR2. I found myself constantly getting lost in places like Solitude, Windhelm, and even Whiterun... Poor design, maybe? I didn’t have that problem in Novigrad, though that might have been because the mini map is so easy to follow

- The ambient music that plays in Novigrad sounds similar to the music from the Deku Palace 

- I killed Keira Metz.. Like, less than 24 hours after sleeping with her. I didn’t realise I could have left her alive, oops. Now I’m a little sad. I liked Keira, but she was also kind of a two-faced liar :( Liar isn’t the word I wanted to say. I wanted to say bitch. Keira Metz was a two-faced bitch. Oh well. I’ve been trying to resolve things peacefully and only resort to violence when the situation calls for it (or if I feel a character is beyond redemption - like Whoreson Junior, who, WITHOUT A DOUBT, deserved death)

- Only last night did I discover I could use my ability points to upgrade my signs. Totally missed those other tabs, hahah. I didn’t realise I could change out the mutagen thingies to get different abilities. That’s, uh. Hmm. I feel dumb

- Figured out villagers don’t do anything if you loot their houses right in front of them. I still feel bad robbing peasants, but let’s be honest: Geralt needs your bread and water more than you do. Last night I finally killed some livestock just to see if I’d get in trouble. I didn’t, and now I have tons of chicken legs and ham. Still feel guilty...

- I miss the Bloody Baron. And I don’t know where the orphans went, so I’m still not convinced they were saved

[gonnabesyk]

Uh, well, maybe I should consider my future actions in TW3 more carefully. The crones turned Anna into a terrifying monster.. thing D: I changed her back into her human form, but the curse couldn’t be lifted so she died

The Baron told me to meet him back at Crow’s Perch to collect payment, but when I arrived he was swinging from a tree. GOSH, can this game please stop destroying my feelings??? Then, to add insult to injury, I never got my reward money ;____; 

There was a small cutscene where Geralt explained what happened & it seemed to imply there might have been a different outcome had I not helped the evil spirit. Well, lesson learned :(

[gonnabesyk]

OMG and UMA. How could I forget Uma! 

You can’t just dump a thing like Uma on me and not explain what the hell they actually are. I hope Uma will appear again later on

[gonnabesyk]

Well, I have been glued to The Witcher 3 for the past few days. A lot has happened!

I started (and finished) the quest “Family Matters” and my gosh, what a rollercoaster.. The Bloody Baron is a complex character. I had a bad feeling about him from the beginning... but as more piece of the puzzle filled in, my opinion of him changed (numerous times!)

Even though he was an abusive alcoholic, it doesn’t seem like he was to blame for Anna’s miscarriage. Don’t get me wrong - it doesn’t excuse his actions, but goodness what a complicated situation. When I found out she cheated on HIM, their marital problems certainly made a lot more sense, hahah

My feelings toward him softened when he begged Geralt to help Dea become a lubberkin instead of just killing her. He seemed genuinely remorseful for his shortcomings as a husband and father. I feel for him, y’know? But then he’d be a dick to Geralt and I’d instantly dislike him again lmao

There’s a part when you speak to him in the garden and he laments the fact that he’ll never know which flowers Dea would have liked best :( Oh my gosh, I teared up

OKAY but then!! Then!!! I didn’t understand how the quest in Crookback bog tied into Family Matters until the VERY END. HOLY SHIT, WHAT A TWIST. AM I STUPID? Anna was the crazy lady all along??? Looking back, I feel like I should have put two and two together, but I never once suspected it... Not until she hesitated to give the crones the ear and we see the mark on her palms. Then I was like, oh shiiiit!!

I’m so worried about her D: The crones are SO scary. It’s not often I’m creeped out by monsters in video games, but there have been a few notable exceptions in TW3. One is ghouls. They have faces like dead people, but they act like dogs. I find them very unsettling! Second is drowners. I don’t find their design particularly frightening, but several times I’ve been minding my own business, gathering herbs in the swamp, only to turn around and find myself surrounded by a swarm of them. One is no big deal, but when I see several, I usually just run away as fast as I can ‘cos I’ve been killed by groups of them before!

Third.. The Whispering Hillock. I got the sense.. whatever it is, it’s very evil.. But I also felt bad for it - it gave me major “I have no mouth and I must scream” vibes. I didn’t read anything about it online (I’m scared of spoilers!), but I’m so, so curious... So, I helped it. The game gave me more than one opportunity to kill it, but I wrangled a black horse and led her back to the tree ;___; Why did I do it? I’m not sure.. Partly because it claimed it would help the orphans in the swamp... Partly because I knew the crones hated it. Partly because, well, I just wanted to see what would happen! After it took over the horse’s body, the horse’s name changed to “Black Beauty”. Hmm.. I don’t know where to find it, or if it’s actually going to help the kids, but I know it pissed off the crones a LOT

I could continue on with my quest to find Ciri... Or, there’s another quest where I return to Crookback bog with the Baron to save Anna. Not gonna lie, if I’m at the appropriate level, I’m doing that one first!

There’s still so much I don’t understand about this game:

- I feel bad looting peasants’ houses, but how else am I supposed to get food? I can’t afford to buy it :( Is it okay to steal from people? In some ways, I feel like the game encourages it... but then, there are consequences if you steal in front of guards. I’m not sure what to think

- How the heck do you make money? I loot everything I kill, but merchants only offer a few coins in exchange for pelts, weapons, and junk. I never have more than a couple hundred coin on me at any given time.. Repairing my armor and weapons uses up ALL of it! I do have things like pearls, rubies, and sapphires, but I’m afraid to sell them because it says I need them for crafting

I kinda looked up the second question on Google, but I got mixed answers. I’m confused

[gonnabesyk]

My favourite part of The Wither 3 so far has to be the orphanage in the middle of the swamp run by the batty old lady. I knew Johnny wasn’t going to be human, but I expected him to be a spirit. He was actually really cute lmao. I liked that character a lot. Dunno if it’s a scar or a harelip, but his mouth is adorable

I killed a cockatrice today! Couldn’t figure out why it was taking so long (I was level 6), then found out later the recommended level is 8 - 10. I almost always use Quen because it seems most useful out of all of the signs. Though I used Igni on a bunch of wolves and that was neat. Anyway, now I have a shrieker head on my horse instead of a griffin

I got to play as Ciri very briefly too! She’s soo badass, when she dodges she like.. teleports. I noticed the scar on her face is in the same spot as Geralt’s. Wonder if that’s just a coincidence or if there’s a story behind that

So far I have two complaints about the game. One is relatively minor, the other is a bit more serious:

1) The combat system/moving around in general feels very clunky. It reminds me a bit of RDR2 - Geralt’s movements are slow and it feels like it takes him forever to do anything! I find myself getting stuck on stuff a lot, especially in villages. Yesterday I glitched into the roof of a house and couldn’t move! Thankfully after mashing buttons a lot, I popped back out, but I get stuck on signs, fences, barrels, etc. I want to ride Roach more, but I prefer to travel on foot because my movements are easier to controls. That slows me down significantly, though, and leaves me vulnerable to monsters!

2) I’m experiencing nonstop graphical glitches. Everyone says the Switch port of TW3 is excellent, especially in handheld mode.. But I’m having some serious issues :( The framerate is so choppy at times, especially during cutscenes, it’s distracting. Geralt’s hair turns pink when I use the crossbow. My mini map keeps randomly turning black. Sometimes when I change directions (when walking or riding Roach), objects disappear or the screen will flicker. Thankfully, the story thus far has been compelling enough that I can overlook the glitches! 

The dialogue and voice acting so far are superb!

[gonnabesyk]

I killed my first golem in TW3!! It took FOREVER, I think I died at least 5 or 6 times. I had no food, my health was only about 3/4th full, and my armor is weakened (but I’m not sure how to fix that!) 

I tried all the signs, but none of them seemed to do any damage against the golem. Or maybe I don’t know how to use them properly? 

What worked best for me was casting Quen over and over again and just trying to strike the golem from behind with my powerful attack. The shield would break every time the golem landed a hit and I’d have to roll away and cast again lsadgosdjoigjs. It was tedious, and I’m certain there are much better ways I could have handled the fight, but I DID IT. It was intense! 

In Skryim, my preference for melee weapons caused a lot of problems. I never liked using magic, but I found myself rushing around trying to learn new spells because in many cases, I needed to fight enemies from a distance... You can’t do that with a giant hammer, lmao

Signs in TW3 remind me a bit of shouts in Skyrim! I’m used to switching between those, so learning the signs in TW3 shouldn’t take me too long

This post is pointless I’m just proud of myself for killing my first ‘big’ enemy and I wanted to share ldsalkgsd

[gonnabesyk]

Couple of Witcher 3-related questions:

- Can I have a horse that isn’t named Roach

- Can I safely throw away ‘common’ items? I don’t know if there’s a weight limit in this game, so I don’t want to carry around clothes/books that I don’t need

- Is.. is this griffin head just gonna hang out on my horse forever or was I supposed to do something with it???

[gonnabesyk]

If I had the money, I’d have surgery to re-align my jaw. No more scalloped tongue. No more overbite. Probably no more lisp

I’d buy a house somewhere up north. Pennsylvania or New York, maybe. Nothing fancy, though a yard would be nice

I’d get weight loss surgery. I’d fix my teeth. Get laser hair removal. I’d get LASIK surgery so I could finally see. Get tested to find out what the hell is wrong with my body

It’s 2 PM and I haven’t gone to sleep yet. My tongue feels swollen, my nostrils and throat are on fire. Every time I move I lose my vision. My jaw hurts. My eyes are blurry. My fingers hurt from chewing on them. I feel guilty about the pets I’ve lost, anxious about the ones I still have. The air in this house feels toxic. The US is falling apart. My world is crumbling

[gonnabesyk]

I was going through my old tweets and saw this. Whooaa, haven’t thought about this girl in ages, but I’m so glad she’s out of my life

We met through her husband (whose art I stumbled across on the front page of dA). I liked his animations and followed. Shortly after, I learned he’d been injured and needed help paying his medical bills, so I donated and posted a journal to raise awareness. It was then that his wife noticed me

She rubbed me the wrong way from the very start - she was passive aggressive, pushy, and just really, really insincere. Why she decided to cling to me for so long, I don’t know. I guess she didn’t have many friends. I didn’t either, but at the time, I wasn’t interested in making any. We clearly weren’t compatible, but she insisted we keep in touch via Twitter and Tumblr. Later, she added me on Facebook without permission (I accepted because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings). An awkward, forced friendship. We had nothing in common

She replied to my tweets a lot.. She commented on my art on Furaffinity and Tumblr. She sent asks. She sent Facebook messages. That’s fine! It was fine. But if I didn’t respond immediately (like within 10 minutes) she’d get angry and start subtweeting me.

A small example: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/9233888/ She commented on this picture and when I didn’t reply after just a few minutes, she started tweeting about how she was tired of leaving comments on peoples’ art and being ignored

Another time, I reblogged that Normal Porn For Normal People creepypasta on Tumblr and she hopped on Twitter to whine about a so-called friend that posted something scary and ruined her night. She posted it on Facebook too to make sure I’d see, pfff

Or.. once, I posted a funny meme about a spider. I don’t even remember what it said! But she whined about how that meme broke her heart (even though she’d mentioned on more than one occasion she hates spiders)

And, of course, there was the passive-aggressive remark about wanting to punch someone who had a music player on their blog set to auto play (it was me, lol). I actually confronted her about it, but she claimed she was referring to someone else so I dropped it

There are many other examples, but I can’t remember ‘em.. Anyway!

We had a presidential election in 2012 and my FB feed was full of political debates. I got so stressed out, I decided to just deactivate for a while. It was a somewhat spur-of-the-moment decision.. One I didn’t announce (I should have, but I didn’t!) I think I did the same thing on Twitter, but I was still visiting peoples’ Twitter profiles to keep up with their tweets

That’s how I found this:

I hadn’t “unfriended” her. I’d just deactivated my accounts, and only temporarily, I might add. I knew she was talking about me because that was the day I deactivated, lmao

She probably didn’t think I’d be able to see the replies, but I did, and, oof. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was also Thanksgiving D: I remember I felt so sick over those Tweets, I locked myself in my room and bawled. I spent over an hour trying to come up with a message to send to Crys. I wanted to explain myself, I wanted her to know I was aware of the hurtful things she’d said. In the end, I decided to just silently cut her out of my life for good. I posted something on Livejournal about the situation (without naming names) and just moved on. She never tried to contact me after that, thank goodness!

Dang, that was a crappy year

[gonnabesyk]

Had to wait in line for 4 hours, but at nearly 600 bells per turnip, it was worth it. 

I have almost 4 million bells in the bank now, heck yeah. Thanks Sherb, Filbert, and Turnip.Exchange

[gonnabesyk]

I had a dream my dad was alive and we were playing a game of pool in the basement. I vividly remember chalking my cue while my dad called out “rack ‘em up!”. He broke - balls scattered everywhere. Some flew off the table and bounced on the cement floor. I heard him claim stripes and checked the pockets to be sure

My turn. I fumbled with my cue for ages. Aimed. Readjusted. Aimed again. Finally shot. I missed my target and sank the cue ball in one of the corner pockets. It was so bad it almost looked intentional. My dad turned to me with a smug grin and before I could warn him not to say anything, blurted out “ohhh, scratch” 

Bittersweet memories. My dad was a sore loser (but an ever sore-er winner). I hated watching him gloat after he won a game of pool or foosball.. I’m pretty sure it fucked me up because now I won’t participate in an activity if it’s even remotely competitive. But I miss having the entire family gathered around the pool table, taking turns choosing Bob Dylan songs on the computer. Or The Rolling Stones. Or Pink Floyd.

I miss the sound of billiard balls clacking together. I miss rubbing that toxic blue chalk dust off my fingers. I miss it all

[gonnabesyk]

Trying to decide if I should muster up the courage to see a doctor tomorrow. Is two weeks of burning mouth/tongue long enough? My throat is beet red and covered in veins, my tonsils are swollen with white patches, my tongue feels like I dipped it in boiling water

Kinda sounds like thrush to me, but I can’t imagine how I would have gotten it

[gonnabesyk]

My sister, her boyfriend, and their (combined) five kids got here at 9:30 this morning, stayed all day, and have decided to spend the night

I’m in so much pain. I cannot stand the sound of the kids screaming, thumping, cackling, dogs barking, drunk mom slurring her speech, and my sister’s filthy mouth

I just wanna cry. I just wanna cry, but I don’t have the energy

[gonnabesyk]

I think I’m going to take a break from Twitter. As a white person, I don’t feel I have anything of value to add to the current discourse. I’ve never experienced true racism, so it’s not my place to talk about it. It’s probably best if I just stay quiet for a while and continue giving POC the space they need to share their stories

I’ll probably be more active here on Tumblr in the meantime