gonpoly

[gonpoly]

Did a thing and finally got the piece finisbed. Absolutely in love with how it turned out. #tattoo #phoenix #sleevetattoo #crypticink Artist: @frankcleek

[gonpoly]

If you listen to the poly podcasts.

[gonpoly]

Aurora...a polyamorous wife on episode 6 of the first season of Friends, which aired October 27, 1994.

[gonpoly]

MonicaHow was your date, 'Chand-lrr'? ChandlerIt was unbelievable. I-I've never met anyone like her. She's had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army... (A flashback of Aurora and Chandler on their date in Central Perk) Aurora...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I-I ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories. ChandlerAlright. Once, once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it. ChandlerWe talked till like two. It was this perfect evening... more or less. Aurora...All of a sudden we realised we were in Yemen. ChandlerOh, I'm sorry, so 'we' is? Aurora'We' would be me and Rick. JoeyWho's Rick? ChandlerWho's Rick? AuroraMy husband. AllOoooohhh. ChandlerOh, so-so you're divorced? AuroraNo. ChandlerOh, I'm-I'm sorry, so you're widowed? ...Hopefully? AuroraNo, I'm still married. ChandlerSo uh tell me, how do- how do you think your husband would feel about you sitting here with me? ...Sliding your foot so far up my pant leg you can count the change in my pocket? AuroraDon't worry. I imagine he'd be ok with you because really, he's ok with Ethan. ChandlerEthan? There's, there's an Ethan? AuroraMmmm... Ethan is my... boyfriend. AllWhat?! ChandlerSo explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend? AuroraI suppose mainly sexual. Chandler...Hm. MonicaOh. I'm sorry it didn't work out. ChandlerWhat 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story? MonicaDidn't YOU listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this? ChandlerWell, you know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!

http://soncp.com/afs/106.html

[gonpoly]

But at the end of the day, we’re all just people who go to bed wanting happiness and wellbeing.

e.m (via infinity-and-dreams)

[gonpoly]

Poly doesn’t always feel nice. And that’s ok. Sometimes… Poly is watching your partner get their needs that match yours met with someone else. Sometimes poly is having to accept less, instead of all. Sometimes poly is, I hate this, but you don’t need my permission to do it anyway. Sometimes poly is burning. Sitting in your room, your house, alone, burning with all the emotions and there is no one to put you out except yourself. And sometimes, you’re not enough of a firefighter. Sometimes poly is boring. Sometimes poly is Netflix and chilling, by yourself, your own hand down your pajama pants. Sometimes poly is rage. Fierce, hot, molten gold down your gullet, choking you, burning you, cooking you to a not-quick enough death. Sometimes it’s this is not enough, but this is better than nothing. Sometimes it’s pain, bright, white hot, cutting into the very core of you. Splintering you into a thousand, million pieces. Sometimes it’s I don’t know how I survive this. Sometimes poly is… Acceptance of not so great, because there is no other option. Sometimes poly is a snide laugh, a kick in the gut, a slap in the face. Sometimes poly is heartbreak. Sometimes poly is, I will never feel “safe” again. Sometimes it’s just… Overthinking. Overanalyzing. Overdoing. Over scheduling. Overtalking. Over… Everything. Sometimes poly is… Can’t I just go back? But what poly really is? Poly is I can’t. I can’t go back. Because going back would mean so much sacrifice. So much giving up of people that I cannot fathom how much I love them. So much beautiful, wonderful, awful exploration of self that I would never get again. I can’t say, I don’t want my lovers and friends and amazing people who blur ALL of my lines and boundaries with their amazing selves. I can’t say, for the sake of some general level of “comfort” that I know is false, I will give up everyone. Their intimacy, their vulnerability, their nakedness. What they look like laughing, and coming, and crying. Versions of them I don’t get to see within the confines of monogamy as I knew it. I have sacrificed so very much to be here, uncomfortable, today. I can’t. I feel I’m awake now, with all the discomfort that comes with awakening. But I can’t go back to sleep. It’s shitty, sometimes, being awake. The sun is too bright, the sounds too harsh. It’s easy when I’m head down, dreaming. But it’s not real, you know? It’s an illusion, a construct. It works for some, but I’ve taken the red pill. I’ve seen my life for how it is, my thinking for how it is. I can’t unsee it. Maybe one day how I outwardly perform myself will change, but for now, I can’t go back. I am what I am, doing what I’m doing the ways that I do it. Sometimes it hurts. Fuck yeah it hurts. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you anything remotely differently. And you know what? It’s ok. Through this, we grow. We become something else. We become better, stronger. We know ourselves more. We know more words to use to advocate for ourselves, and that is fucking amazing. Without this pain, without this trial by fire and molten metal, we might not know what we’re capable of. And knowing what we’re capable of is an awesome, incredible thing. That is what makes you, you. That is what inspires you to fucking amazing things. Even if the journey is horrible to get there. ~Jordyn

XCBDSM.com/spd (via polyrolemodels)

[gonpoly]

[gonpoly]

You know you’ve gone poly…When you see the word polyamorous and think…Yep.. Makes sense…Had to use Greek and Latin roots because even the word couldn’t be tied down to just one language.

(via mlmastin)

[gonpoly]

I’m tired of fighting.

Fighting at work. Family fights. Fighting with the kids’ school. Fighting politics.

It’s not all fighting all the time, it just feels like if it’s not one thing them it’s another.

But I don’t want to give up the fight. I’m a warrior from a long line of warrior queens.

It just feels like it’s been all fighting all the time this winter, and now it’s spring, and I’m tired, and I’m starting to worry if I’m fighting more than only the good fights and I should back off on something. But I can’t figure out where I should be stepping back and letting go, because in some way, every fight is for a better life for my small ones…. And they’re not ready quite ready to take on these flights themselves.

My husband is my best friend ever. Never could I ask for a better partner, and every day he stands with me in these fights, in whatever way helps.

But still… I’m tired.

Last night I invited my husband to meditate. He tired too. And I told him this too shall pass. I remembered the nurses told me that when I was in labor with my first child. This too shall pass. Breathe.

And I found myself muttering it under my breath today over and over again. This too shall pass. A quiet self encouragement.

I don’t know how it will pass. I don’t know how much longer I can fight these fights. I don’t know how I can stop.

But I don’t think it was always like this. I don’t think it’s supposed to be like this always.

So I guess I’ll just keep breathing. A good deep breath before the next battle. If this too shall pass, then I better fight for the life I want for us.

[gonpoly]

You know you've gone poly...when you have a blog about being poly.

[gonpoly]

Why I Came Out As Poly

- Because I’m not ashamed of being polyamorous, and anyone who thinks that I should be doesn’t need to be in my life.

- Because I want acceptance and understanding of polyamory, and that will only happen once monogamous people begin to realize that healthy non-monogamous relationships are not only possible but prevalent.

- Because I don’t want to hide my excitement about anyone who isn’t my husband, and I don’t want to have to refer to a partner as being nothing more than a friend. I do not want to diminish any relationships outside of my marriage by being secretive.

- Because I do not want people to mistakenly believe that I support infidelity or deceit.

- Because there is nothing more satisfying than being unapologetically me.

[gonpoly]

Some helpful books for newbies to polyamory -

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Adventures by Dossie Easton

Then there’s a few books that I’ve heard about but haven’t gotten the chance to read just yet -

Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts by Raven Kaldera

Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners by Deborah Anapol

The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory: A Hands-On Guide to Open Sexual Relationships by Françoise Simpère

Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful by Anthony Ravenscroft

[gonpoly]

Polyamory is my self help

Polyamory is teaching me how to be a better person…

I am challenged to show as much love as I think I am capable of.

I am challenged to compromise and let go, because I chose to value love more than my way.

I am challenged to be the kind of person who my partners ‘want’ to be with, not just ‘have’ to be with.

I am challenged to communicate my love and regard in such a way that my partners absorb my message and trust my intent.

God help me… I feel so humbled by this journey.

[gonpoly]

Polyamory: when your girlfriend asks you how you spent the evening and you have to admit that you and her husband definitely spent it Pokemon hunting.

[gonpoly]

Last year around this time, K and I had just started talking and going on dates. We talked and saw each other really consistently, then he just stopped contacting me one weekend. I was CERTAIN he was ghosting me. It had happened before with other people and it felt inevitable with him. I just had no confidence in my ability to date. On Sunday, he popped back up out of nowhere and apologized (profusely!) for being MIA. He told me that he and his family had been on a camping trip up north and he realized on their way home that he hadn’t told me about the trip or about the lack of cell service. It was a funny conversation once we got everything sorted out. About a week after that, K and I officially started dating! :) Cut to this year and K is on the same trip with his family. This year, the trip was written in on my calendar. I knew where they were staying and when they’d be leaving and coming home. I stayed at K’s house last weekend so he and I could have time together before they were gone. I helped all of them pack up things in the car to make it easier for their departure day. Since they have been gone, K and I have been talking a bit less than we normally do - cell service is still terrible! - but he messages me when he gets a chance so he can say hi and let me know how they’re all doing. A and B have both asked him to message me a few times, just to let me know about stuff happening on the trip that they’d think I’d find funny or enjoy. It feels good to know that he is (and they are!) thinking of me so much. He and I have been in each other’s lives for almost a year now. The time I have spent getting to know him and having him as a partner has been so beautiful. Times like this - feeling cared for by my partner AND my polycule - are so needed, especially after a week or two of feeling like I need to justify my being polyamorous to particular people in my life who just…don’t seem to get it? And it’s fine if they don’t, but I am also tired of defending myself to them. I don’t spend much time with them, so it’s not a huge deal…but it’s tiresome. It’s tiresome to constantly explain how I feel, how I date, how I love, how my relationship is NOT based on cheating or dishonesty. To have that bringing me down and to feel so low and so odd and so isolated and then to have this amazing polycule to welcome me in and say “You belong,” it’s indescribable. In this community on here and my (growing!) community in real life, I am really starting to feel like I belong. And it feels so good.

[gonpoly]

Agreed...

are there like places to meet poly people online? and by that i don't mean find other poly people to be in a relationship with. More like i am looking for a poly friend to go through this journey with.

Yes! In very many countries are meet-up groups and online communities. Just try googling a bigger city near you and polyamory. That’s a great idea to connect to polyamorous people and switch stories, it was my approach, as I first heard of it too. Luckily there are even different groups I was able to meet close by and share stories and find like minded people. But be aware, at every poly-meeting will be someone who tries to find a new love interest and not all poly-people are like-minded. Choose your friends wise and don’t let go of your senses. If your gut tells you ‘nope’, listen to it!

[gonpoly]

May 19, 2016

You know you've gone poly when you have to coordinate five or more schedules to plan a date night.