gonzogodzilla - Tumblr blog

[gonzogodzilla]

[gonzogodzilla]

Sirje Runge (Estonian, *1950). Still life. Self-portrait. (1978).

[gonzogodzilla]

hey, you're allowed to take up space and make noise

it's okay if your mobility aids click or squeak

it's okay if you need more space to pass because of your aids or the way you walk

it's okay if you need to ask more questions

it's okay if you need to ask for help with things, either for physical or mental limitations

it's okay if the way your body is means you need more room

it's okay to exist and to take up space

ily /p

[gonzogodzilla]

[gonzogodzilla]

It’s been said a thousand times a million ways and I am going to say it again.

The Addams Family is about unflinching, absolute pursuit of a pure life as defined by the inescapable passion of the individual soul.

Whomever and whatever you are, demanding of yourself to be the most You that can possibly exists.

The hardline ruthless defense against anything that demand you be anything or any one but yourself.

It is intoxicating.

I am in the middle of —

(a sack is tossed over me and I am dragged off to my writing desk to finish, not this sentence, but many projects. The perpetrator of this purloin is Lurch, expressly instructed, by me, to demand I return to work, at this appointed time)

[gonzogodzilla]

HARD TO LOVE

chronic illness & dealing with people is challenging, it made every single job I had that was client facing in the past four years feel like actual torture and it was incredibly hard to hide. I worked in customer service for over a decade but once chronic pain hit me it was impossible to hide my disdain for people anymore, and it was a rapid downward spiral into being unable to work in that space anymore.

obviously, it's the ones closest to you that see the worst of that. you can wear a mask the most with strangers but your guard is down the most with the people you love and it's just fucking plain unfair for everyone in that equation. but a stranger gives you the least amount of compassion, you hope the ones you love can have the patience to love you when you're dying on the bathroom floor.

[gonzogodzilla]

HAIL TO THE KING, BBY

Bruce Campbell is the only straight man I will ever admit to having a crush on. Evil Dead will forever remain my favourite horror series, I can't imagine anything being more perfect (including the recent ones bc I'm not a soulless, fun hater).

[gonzogodzilla]

LOCKED JAW

I haven't decided if I like this or not? digital drawing makes me feel like that constantly. I always doubt if it's really something or not. but I haven't been making lately so I feel like I just need to get it out?

[gonzogodzilla]

REMINDER TO MYSELF, thanks past me 🫠

Just here to remind you that there's no prize for suffering and you can buy things to improve your quality of life. You don't have to tough it out, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. This cane, ice pack migraine hat, and tinted glasses have done more for my chronic pain than anything else.

It's okay, you don't have to pretend. You don't have to needlessly suffer. It literally does nothing to improve your life. But accepting your limitations and being kind to yourself? That's what makes you a strong, bad ass, unstoppable force.

[gonzogodzilla]

FITCHECK???

I take great solace in knowing that whenever doing art feels inaccessible bc my body is falling apart, I always have clothes to make weird creations with instead. and since I'm bad at taking photos of my outfit this seemed like the next logical way to highlight them tbh.

working with vintage clothes all day has me inspired to do more fashion related things, so maybe learning to sew will be the next big adventure?

[gonzogodzilla]

trying something new with drawing. I haven't really been able to make art lately between my new job being full-time and also incredibly physical it's really taken a toll on my body. my hand was going numb colouring this. I'm not really sure how to manage having an art practice and also working full-time but I'm sure I'll figure out a balance eventually? maybe?

or my body is just going to collapse entirely while I wait for my doctor to do anything about it. who knows!

[gonzogodzilla]

*doctor voice* hmmmm…..have you tried this revolutionary method called painmaxxxing? it is where you do not bother me and adjust to being in agony all the time and we do nothing to resolve the root cause or treat the symptoms. you don’t wish to try painmaxxxing? you’re being non-compliant with the treatment plan I have just provided you?

[gonzogodzilla]

a thorough inventory of the public spaces in which you are allowed to stand but people will start to get upset if you sit down

[gonzogodzilla]

from GAY magazine, 1970.

[gonzogodzilla]

[gonzogodzilla]

CHRONIC PAIN DIARIES #1

I used to want to be a writer & then I was told I use too many words so I became an artist. it's still there, and still leaks into everything I do. right now I'm in too much pain to do any drawing, or really making of any kind, so words are still my comfort blanket.

I can type, even if I can't hold a pen properly.

[gonzogodzilla]

‘tis.