gordonlore

[gordonlore]

Jeremy David Gordon

January 8th, 1978, Jeremy David and his twin brother Markus Ryan are born to the young newlywed couple Bryan and Rebecca Gordon. For as long as Jeremy could remember his parents were happy and busy and loved him and his brothers. The first brother he remembers being born was Emmett Tyler, October 23rd, 1984, and he remembers how his Momma didn’t smile like she used to. How she grew distant and how it was their dad who put them to bed every night, woke them up and got them dressed and fed. Jeremy remembers the day their dad snapped at their mom. His voice booming from his parent’s room to the living room. Jeremy and Markus were only six years old and yet Jeremy remembers the unsettling feeling of watching his Momma just immediately turn back into her cheery self. Yet that uneasiness never really went away as the years went on. It would subside for a time then come rushing back any time his younger brothers were born. It would be there as he watched his Momma entertain her family. His uncle and aunt staying during Christmas always brought that uneasy feeling. He was watching his Momma whenever he could—though his dad always had a way of pulling him back into their game. December 20th, 1986 was no different from any of the past Christmases. Jeremy’s dad was keeping the boys entertained as their aunt and uncle talked with their Momma. Yet things got heated as their dad looked over to see their aunt absolutely digging into their Momma. Jeremy watched as his Momma escaped into the kitchen, and then he watched as his dad yelled at his aunt and uncle. Jeremy felt like he was going to be trapped in the yelling forever till his Momma came out once again only everyone to suddenly stop as there was a puddle at her feet and she gripped onto his Daddy’s arm and said something and then suddenly everyone was out the door to the hospital. Then only a few hours later Jeremy’s younger brother Forest Victor was born.

Things were not happy after that. Jeremy found himself being charge of his younger brothers. Finding Bryan staying as close as he could to him or Markus. Having to break up fights between Markus and Robert. Robert constantly tells Bryan to leave him alone. All the while their dad would get increasingly angry at them. It wasn’t what Jeremy knew and that uneasy feeling grew too always be around. He was going to protect his brothers. So, when their mother signed them all but Emmett and Forest for little league Exy, Jeremy took charge and made sure they all got there. He made sure they got out of the house like his Momma wanted. When his youngest brother, his baby brother, Jackson Cole was born on July 21st 1988, Jeremy noticed a change in his dad. He noticed how he constantly smelled of stale beer and cigarettes. He noticed how he wouldn’t even look at Jackson or his Momma. Then when they brought Jackson home Jeremy noticed how much more violent and angry, he got with everyone. Jeremy would try to stick around to just watch his baby brother, but his Momma would always get him out of the house and on the way to Exy practice or even a game. Jeremy just wanted to help. Then Jeremy watched as his dad left with his bags packed on April 30th, 1990, and was never seen in the townhouse that Jeremy knew as home.  

The moment that their dad left was the moment that Jeremy and Markus were put to work in keeping everyone in line and cared for as their Momma worked three jobs to support them all. Jeremy fell into his roll more seamlessly than Markus did. In that moment Jeremy never resented it. He wanted to help his Momma in any way he could. Markus on the other hand resented everything about their situation. Markus hated having to take care of his brothers and not being able to just hang out with his friends. Jeremy didn’t know how to navigate his brother’s feelings about their situation, so he instead took full responsibility. He didn’t mind and he just wanted his brothers to be happy and not to worry, he just wanted them to be happy. He wanted his Momma to be happy too, but that seemed impossible as he started to smell the same scents of stale beer and cigarettes lingered on her clothes. As she always immediately locked herself in her bedroom as she came home. As the only time she acknowledged any of them was when one of them screwed up.

When Jackson started kindergarten Jeremy took everyone to little league. He noticed how Emmett and Forest all hated going, and at one point told them they could quit if they wanted to do something else. The only caveat was that Markus or Robert would have to watch Emmett and Forest as they were only 9 and 7 years old. Jeremy tried to keep it a secret not wanting to anger his mother, but he couldn’t stop the couch from calling his mom when Emmett, and Forest didn’t show up for the past two weeks. Their mother was furious. She completely went into Emmett and Forest until Jeremy stepped in and yelled right back. He was the one that allowed them to skip. He made that decision. Their mother was so taken aback that she dropped it immediately after leaving for work. Jeremy focused on getting Emmett and Forest to forget about the yelling. It ended up being Markus was able to get them to forget about it as he took them to the bedrooms. Jeremy was thankful and he started to make dinner and was thankful when Bryan and Jackson wanted to help. Jeremy talked to them about the high school Exy coach, trying to get them both excited for future schooling. All Jackson wanted to talk about was his friend Ariadne that he made. Bryan was quiet and just let Jackson talk as he listened. Jeremy would do anything for his brothers.

August of 1996 was when Jeremy and Markus started college. Jeremy got a full ride academic scholarship on just his academics alone, and he decided to study journalism while he also played for Bama’s Exy team, he was also able to negotiate staying at home because he was playing for the school. Markus on the other hand got a full ride athletic scholarship to the University of Georgia. He left and never returned home, only ever communicating to Jeremy and Robert otherwise. Jeremy resented him for leaving him all alone—but he knew once Markus got the chance to leave, he would. Jeremy was the only one around, and he was the only one taking care of everyone and he was going to take care of them. So, Jeremy ended up getting a server’s job to save money to move out when he gets his real job. It was then that Bryan asked Jeremy and everyone else to call him Seth. He didn’t want to be associated as much with his dad. Jeremy agreed without question. It was only two years later (1998) when Jeremy was called just as he was leaving his communications class that Robert was suspended from school and needed to be picked up. When Jeremy got to the school he was taken to the office where Robert was sitting and then Jeremy saw the joint on the desk. Jeremy took Robert home scolding him the entire way. Robert didn’t say a word back. Jeremy was frustrated. Robert was lucky the school didn’t call the police. Robert was the first one in the house and Jeremy sat down as he went in after him. Jeremy wanted to punch a wall, but he refrained and called his mom to update her. Maybe she could get through to him. What Jeremy didn’t expect was for Rebecca to come in and immediately start yelling at Robert. Telling him how he was a disappointment. How she couldn’t believe he was his son. How he was just like the man who left them all. Jeremy immediately got between them, and Rebecca went to start yelling at Jeremy, but it was Robert who yelled back at their mom. Jeremy stared at him; his heart broken as he heard that all Robert wanted was for his mom to show that she loved them. Jeremy grew angry as he just saw his mom scowl and leave for her bedroom. Jeremy cried as he finished his communications homework. His brothers were hurting and he didn’t know how to help them.

Three years (1999) into Jeremy’s schooling, his junior year of college, he was waiting for Seth to come home. When hours went by and there was no sign of Seth he started to panic inside. He called Seth and after a few rings Seth did answer. Jeremy was relieved till he heard slurred words. Jeremy demanded to know where Seth was, and Seth told him. Jeremy demanded that Seth stay on the phone and talk to him. Seth only stayed on the line for a few more minutes till he stopped responding. It took him a minute more for him to get to the area Seth was, that was went he found Seth, in an alley completely unresponsive. Jeremy immediately called 911 trying not to panic as he was trying to make sure his brother was still alive. When the EMTs arrived, Jeremy was trying to speak coherently enough, but luckily for him they seemed to understand what was happening immediately. Jeremy was frozen and unable to really respond the entire time to the hospital or as he was forced to wait away from Seth. He ended up forcing himself to call their mom. And he called over and over and over till she answered. He was a wreck by the time she answered. He was scared. He was worried. He was furious. He needed his mom to get here. When she got there, she told the doctors to differ to Jeremy. She is putting him in charge of Seth medically. Jeremy went with what the doctors said. He couldn’t believe that his little brother could have been dead at 17. Jeremy was frozen with shock and when he was alone, he called Emmett telling him to order Pizza with the money he had been putting in the coffee jar and that he wouldn’t be home till late. And that he didn’t. When the doctors were done doing what they could do it was around 3am when Seth woke up, dazed confused where he was, Jeremy calmed him down. Jeremy got home at around 4am after he got Seth to fall asleep again. He and Seth were going to have a talk. And talk they did. It took a couple weeks, but Jeremy set up Seth with a therapist and paid for whatever treatment they believed to be best. Jeremy just wanted his brother to get better.

Things were finally getting better in the Gordon household. The next two years flew by smoothly. Seth started college on a full ride to Palmetto State on their Exy team. Jeremy watched every Fox game that year and the following. The foxes weren’t the best team, but it was the one his brother played for. And it was the team that gave Seth the shot at secondary education. Jeremy owed the Foxes everything. This progress took him to his final year of school, and he started to look for job opportunities. As his graduation date grew near, he saw the jobs close to home be removed and his heart sank. He was going to have to move to follow his dreams. He pushed it out of his mind as the days creeped together. He came back home and took care of Emmett, Forest, and Jackson—who didn’t really need him. Well maybe Jackson did, but he didn’t show it. Jackson did tell him about his friend Matthew and all the stuff they would do when Seth came back. Jeremy was happy that Jackson and Seth got along together. Then Jeremy’s fifth year ended, and his graduation was staring him in the face. Jeremy thought he looked weird in his cap and gown, until he remembered that Emmett, Forest, and Jackson were going to be watching him. He was proud to be wearing this get up. The ceremony took hours to finish, but in the end, he was holding his Journalism degree and celebrating with his three youngest brothers. He took them out to eat as payment for making them sit through a long ceremony full of people walking across a stage. Then it was time for him to start some actual job hunting.

It was a long three months before any of his applications, cover letter and resume included, had any response. Yet most of them were polite letters explaining that Jeremy wasn’t what they were looking for. Jeremy started to grow irritable as they came in. He could recite the rejection, and he started too. When he was alone of course. He was the only one who stayed in the house that summer. Seth was taking Jackson out every day, “making up for lost time” is what he always said when asked why. Jackson was just happy that Seth wanted to hang out with him. Emmett and Forest were always getting dragged out by a group of friends, or a girl, and Jeremy was sat at a kitchen table shredding rejection letter after rejection letter. Suddenly all that experience he got covering his old high school’s games seemed all for not and pointless. All those nights he stayed up all night after a closing shift were suddenly worth nothing, and that stupid piece of paper that was getting him nowhere infuriated him. Until he checked the mail and got a letter from Cox Enterprises, an out-of-state job. He opened it after he made sure there wasn’t anything important, it was a job interview. He had made it for a job interview. He couldn’t believe it. He felt like he was being punked. This wasn’t real, not when everything else that preceded it told him otherwise. Yet he still ended up scrambling, making sure he had the proper attire for an interview. Practicing his professional voice, going over every potential talking point. Jeremy was not going to fail this interview. And he didn’t, he didn’t fail. He excelled his interview, surprising his interviewer who proudly wore University of Georgia attire. In fact, his interviewer told him to expect a phone call later that week. Jeremy was ecstatic. He drove the two-hour drive home with the biggest smile on his face. He couldn’t wait to get home and tell his brothers the news. . . until he remembered the two brothers who wouldn’t be home. Who haven’t been home sense they left. Jeremy’s smile fell as he started to think about who was going to take care of his younger brothers when he must leave. It was the only job he applied to that wasn’t a rejection.

It was late in the evening when Jeremy arrived home, with food of course, and he was greeted to Seth, Emmett, Forest, and Jackson sitting in the living room watching a movie. Jeremy set the box of Pizza’s on the counter, not noticing that Seth had followed him into the kitchen. No other brother insight, Jeremy turned around to get them and saw the way Seth looked at him.

“I got the job—at least if they don’t find someone better.”

“That’s great! Why do you look like you killed the family dog?”

“I have to move to Georgia Seth.”

“Ah. . . I see.”

Jeremy and Seth sat together in silent understanding for a while. It was only when they heard Emmett and Forest start to argue that they broke out of their silent contemplation. Jeremy walked out and announced that Pizza was in the kitchen and the three boys still watching the movie immediately got up to go get some food to eat. Jeremy felt his heartbeat in his chest watching them all. Jeremy wondered if he could convince Markus to come back home—no that was selfish. Markus went away because that’s what he needed. Jeremy stopped thinking about a solution and he ate pizza with his younger brothers while they watched whatever dumb comedy that Seth had picked out sense Emmett and Forest couldn’t stop fighting.

Jeremy was packing up his small used sedan on a hot July afternoon only a month after the call. Jeremy made sure to celebrate Jackson’s birthday early when he found out he had to move out before the 21st. Jackson and Seth were helping him get things into his car, Emmett and Forest were inside fighting over the only video game system in the house. Jeremy was entrusting Seth with the care of their younger siblings. He knew he could trust Seth and yet he was still riddled with guilt and anxiety. He was joking with Seth and Jackson the entire time they loaded his car up. Jeremy could tell that Jackson was upset when he closed the trunk and his back doors for the final time till he arrived in Atlanta. He knelt down and hugged Jackson who hugged him back immediately. Seth watched with a natural expression. Jeremy knew what that ment, so he stook his hand out to Seth then pulled him into a hug.

“I’m a phone call away. I promise. If anything happens—and look, Emmett is responsible you just need to pester him. He’ll look after Forest and Jackson if asked but you gotta pester.”

“I know J, we went over this before.”

“I know, I just. . . we’re all we have left. I’m not leaving and never saying hello again, you understand?”

“I know, I never doubted that.”

Jeremy let go of Seth and before he would start crying, he got into his car to start the two hours or so drive to Atlanta, Georgia.

Everything was uneventful, besides the games he covered of course, for the next two years. He was put on covering the college Exy games of the season with his own experience playing the game. He absolutely loved it. He was enjoying writing article after article, getting a pass to go down to the local stadiums to watch it in the moment and take notes. He was in the middle of writing a segment on all the upcoming teams for the next season when he got a call from Seth. He expected it to be Seth letting out some steam over the year he had Jeremy had gotten permission—no ordered, to write about Kevin Day becoming Palmetto’s Assistant Couch. He heard all of Seth’s frustrations against the ‘oh-so-fucking-impossible’ Kevin Day. That was not what the call was about. The call caused Jeremy to immediately get up from his couch at home and grab his keys. When Seth hung up Jeremy immediately called his boss to let him know he wasn’t going to be able to come in at work due to a family emergency. His boss must have heard the panic in his voice because there was not a word of complaining as the Boss let him know it would be taken care of. Jeremy was on the road to Birmingham once again. The two-hour drive was as loud as it was silent. He prayed for the first time in a long while. He couldn’t even remember the last time he did—no that wasn’t true. He prayed just four years ago when he was in Seth’s position. Jeremy held his steering wheel tighter. Jeremy got to UAB Hospital and he immediately asked for Jackson Gordon not seeing Seth in the waiting room. The receptionist gave him a startled look, he wasn’t hiding the panic, she pointed him in the right direction. Ignoring the staff telling him not to run, he ran. He saw Seth outside the hospital room his head in his knees. Jeremy forced his panic down even through he saw the blood staning one of his many band tees. Jeremy knelt down and touched Seth’s arm and Seth startled looked up at him, his cheeks were streaked by tears.

“Is he. . .?”

“No, he’s, his—I got home just in time. He was already so far gone I didn’t think I—Forest wasn’t home—mom was home!”

“Hey, hey, hey, you did good Seth, you did good. He’s here because you got him here. You remember when it was you in that bed? Everything is going to bed okay. Don’t worry about anything else. He’s here because of You.”

Jeremy helped Seth up and they both walked into the hospital room. Jeremy looking at his unconscious baby brother gave him bad DeJa’Vu, and it was quickly moved away when he saw the large bandages wrapped around his arms. Jeremy held back his tears as he moved Jackson’s hair away from his forehead just looking at him. He looked over at Seth who was still shaken. He could tell by the long look in Seth’s stare that Seth knew something that he didn’t. That made sense, Jackson always gravitated to Seth. He just wished he knew it so he could help figure out a plan in getting Jackson help. Jeremy and Seth sat next to each other in the chairs that were sat at the side of Jackson’s bed. They didn’t talk but Jeremy couldn’t help but stare at the faded trackmarks that laced Seth’s arm, they were almost gone. He then stared back at Jackson before he started to speak to Seth.

“You know, no matter the reason, he needs help?”

“I know.”

“That help wont be inexpensive.”

“I know.”

“If you need help I can—”

“Don’t, I need to do this.”

“Seth—”

“Can we just sit and wait for him to wake up?”

“Okay.”

Jeremy couldn’t help but feel worried for both his brothers. All he wanted was for them to be safe and happy. Safe and Happy.

Jackson woke up an hour or two later and he was a bit disoriented, and Seth was walking around the room getting out nervous energy. So, he went over to help Jackson get his bearings. Jeremy left to grab Jackson’s doctor. That was when he was met by a short young man who looked like he belonged in at a Metal Concert. The young man introduced himself as Matthew and was wondering if the room he came out was Jackson’s room. Matthew, this was Matthew. Jeremy let Matthew into the room and continued to look for Jackson’s doctor. Jeremy waited outside the room while the doctor went in to talk to Jackson and Seth. Jeremy listened as the doctor, and the psychiatrist, talked with Jackson—who had both Seth and Matthew with him. He closed his eyes trying to focus on the treatment plan, but the door had gotten closed. What he did hear was that because of how late it was Jackson wasn’t going to be released till tomorrow. Released too where? Jeremy didn’t know. What he did know was that he needed to find a place to sleep. He got up to tell them that he was going to grab a hotel room when another doctor came in behind him.

“Dr. Wilson?”

“Hi Jackson, you just sleep now, Seth can I speak with you outside? Matthew we’re leaving as soon as I’m done talking with Seth.”

She must have been Matthew’s mother. Jeremy stayed in the room and he walked over to Jackson. Jackson looked like he was going to cry. Jeremy hated that.

“I-I’m sorry, I just—”

“No, enough of that. I just wanted to let you know I was here. I also wanted to let you know I do love you. Okay Jack?”

“Jeremy, I—”

“It’s okay. I promise it’s okay. Seth’s going to take care of you.”

Jeremy left and grabbed himself a motel room to spend the night in. It was 11am when Seth called and let him know that the Wilson’s where going to become temporary guardians of Jackson until he turned 18, and that he was being admitted to Hill Crest for a couple months to get help for his suicidal ideation. And Seth told him that he was going to stop doing drugs, including smoking. Jeremy hadn’t known had been smoking at all. Yet it was a relief to her Seth admit it while telling him he was done. Jeremy met up with Seth and Jackson as Jackson got released and they took him to be admitted to Hill Crest. Jackson was so figity in the backseat with Matthew. Jeremy was watching them, through the review mirror and he saw how naturally Matthew took Jackson’s hand. How Jackson calmed down and then leaned against Matthew muttering something. Jeremy looked over to Seth—who was as stiff as a board. What had he missed while he lived with them? What was not told?

It wasn’t long till they had arrived at Hill Crest and they all escorted Jackson into the building and checked him in. This was how they wanted to do it, to make Jackson feel safer. Yet he still gripped onto Seth tightly, and Matthew gripped Jackson tightly. They both feared something. Jeremy had an idea of what. Seth, Jeremy, and Matthew left after Jackson was escorted away by one of the members. When it was just the three of them in Jeremy’s sedan, Jeremy decided to confirm his suspicions.

“You aren’t just Jack’s best friend are you, Matthew?”

“Jeremy. . .”

Jeremy jumped at the threating tone from Seth, he glanced over at Seth confused and looked back at Matthew.

“Er, no sir. We’ve been dating for almost two years, but we’ve been best friends for longer.”

Jeremy was quiet for a time. He felt Seth’s threating gaze. Did Seth think he was—no no no, he’s not? No! 

“You treat him, right? He treats you right?”

“Y-yes sir, at least I think I do.”

“Good.”

Jeremy felt Seth’s gaze fall and he turned on the radio as they drove to his childhood home. They got home and Seth got out of the car before Jeremy even had it in park. Matthew waited until he saw Jeremy shift to park. Jeremy walked up after them, noticed how Matthew seemed to not want to attempt to go inside, and he followed Seth as he went to gather Jackson’s things to take to the Wilson’s. Jeremy watched as Seth was packing clothes, things that were all handed down. The expression on Seth’s face concerns Jeremey. The way Seth had strict tense movements. Jeremy did not know what to do and he certainly didn’t like seeing Seth this way. The last time he talked with Seth everything was okay, everything was good. Watching him told the opposite. Maybe it was the events of the past days the shook Seth up bad, but Jeremy’s gut said otherwise. Jeremy did not know how to tackle it. Jeremy did attempt to help Seth gather Jackson’s things, but Seth just put a box in him arms and Jeremy took it out to his car. Jeremy waited after that point sensing he wasn’t welcome in that room. It took about an hour, and one screaming match between Seth and their mom, till Seth was done packing the car with all of Jackson’s things.

Jeremy was more than happy to drive Seth and Matthew to the Wilson’s but when he stepped out to help that’s when Seth finally snapped. That’s when his little brother snapped and told him to fuck off. That he could handle this all. That he had been gone for a while and shouldn’t care this much. Markus and Robert’s name were thrown in. Jeremy just wanted to be there to support his brother, but his brother was hurting too much to see it. So, he stayed back and let Seth deal with things on his own. He didn’t leave, he stayed out leaning against his car. When he had come to the understanding Seth was not going to come out again, he got into his car and started it. But before he could even decide on a place to grab a quick dinner someone was knocking on the window of his car. Seth was the someone. Jeremy got out of his car and immediately hugged his brother. They went out and ate dinner together and talked about everything.

This would unfortunately be the last time Jeremy spoke to his little brothers, well the last time before he saw Jackson wearing Seth’s number on the same team, leaving to a bus sticking close to his boyfriend of his in a cheering outfit, losing his spot in the press line to give him his number. No, he wouldn’t see Jackson for another two years. He wouldn’t talk to him for another two years. Not because of anything other than grief and shame of losing one of his little brothers. One he so desperately tried to save. Jeremy wouldn’t forgive himself for not being able to save Seth from his addiction. Cursing every news article that spoke about him like they knew him and his struggles. At least Jackson didn’t hold any hard feelings. Rekindling with Jackson let Jeremy leave Rebecca behind and fine love in Chrysanthemum “Chrystie” Johnson. Jeremy and Chrystie had a decent sized wedding paid for by her father three years after meeting. Her youngest niece was their flower girl and Jackson agreed to be his best man which was a blessing after none of their other brothers responded to the invitations. Jackson brought along part of Seth that Jeremy could keep close. He put the vile in his pocket with his pocket square. Jeremy got his family a few years after the wedding. A warm happy family that wasn’t going to leave him. His baby brother and his husband and their three kids and his wife and their four beautiful kids.

Bryan Seth Sr. Rebecca Victoria (Roberts) Gordon Markus Ryan Gordon Robert Michael Gordon Bryan Seth Gordon Jr. Emmett Tyler Gordon Forest Victor Gordon Jackson Cole Gordon Matthew Brice Wilson Ophellia Eurydice Wilson-Gordon Dion Lysander Wilson-Gordon Orion Othello Wilson-Gordon

[gordonlore]

Rebecca Victoria (Roberts) Gordon

November 29th, 1955, in Mobile, Alabama Rebecca, “Becky” Victoria Roberts was born to a Michael and Victoria Roberts. The second born, and the only daughter of the home. She was treated like a little princess and her brothers acted like her own personal knights. Her home life was extremely nuclear and sheltered as her father worked as a Pastor at one of the many Baptist churches in their area. She believed everything her father and mother said about the world. She never doubted their word, because why would she? They were her parents and an authority figure whose job was to look after her. She grew up to have an idealist view on the world around her. Getting amazing grades in school, which fueled her love for school and sparked her journey into becoming a schoolteacher. So, when she graduated high school June 6th, 1973, and decided to pursue her dreams of teaching with a cheering scholarship to the University of Alabama Birmingham to study education. Her parents helped move her out to Birmingham; her grandparents paying for her rent and her father being the one to help her with budgeting. Everything was going to plan, and Rebecca didn’t plan to meet her future husband in a local bar on September 1st, 1975, but she couldn’t say know to the blond hair blue eyed vet who offered to buy her a drink. He was just so charming. She also definitely didn’t expect to pregnant with twins at the start of her senior year of college. God had another plan and Rebecca and Bryan moved in together trying to keep her pregnancy a secret. Rebecca couldn’t afford to lose her grandparents and parents support—so when she started to show more then she could hide she offered to elope with Bryan. Knowing that Bryan didn’t trust marriage—she knew Bryan also didn’t believe in God like she and her family did, and she empathized with why and she couldn’t force that onto him. She however asked Bryan to have a reception for after they sign the papers. So that her family could still have that celebration, even if they were going to be upset with that fact, she was pregnant and wasn’t getting married under God.

Upset didn’t cover it, but not from her grandparents, her parents. Michael and Victoria made it very clear that Rebecca had made a horrible mistake and would have to repent before God before they’d even humor coming to the “so called reception”, they berated her made her feel so small and she was so scared to call her grandparents—her brothers—yet Bryan took it upon himself to call them when Rebecca decided that they would react the same way and maybe even worse. Bryan ended up giving a nervous Rebecca the phone every time he called, sitting there being next to her, supporting her. Her grandparents where extremely supportive after Bryan explained the situation and why they were eloping, and they just wanted their granddaughter to know that they had her back; and that her parents were being cruel and stupid. Her brothers echoed her grandparents’ statement and Rebecca was able to be at ease knowing at least part of her family was going to support her. She was able to relax and when her older brother and his wife came to visit, holding boxes of baby supplies . . . including a crib. The one thing Rebecca and Bryan had been saving up to get. Forest and Janice decided to bring all their baby supplies to Rebecca and Bryan because “it’s not in God’s plan for us to have children.” Rebecca couldn’t have been more thankful for her older brother as she watched him help Bryan set up the crib in their room. She felt weight being lifted from her shoulders and nearly cried. Yet she didn’t because Janice kept her busy showing her all the baby clothes Janice had collected. Going through baby books, the resources she collected in trying and trying to have a baby that wasn’t going to come. Rebecca was more than thankful, and she didn’t know how to thank Janice. Janice asked her to name the boys or one of the boys after her father and grandfather. Janice wanted her father and grandfather to be honored in some way—and she wasn’t going to be able to do so. Weeks later passed by and Rebecca and Bryan eloped, exchanged their rings in front of the Holms and Rebecca’s family at their reception. Rebecca’s parents even bothered to show. Not wasting any time to reiterate that Rebecca and Bryan acted out of the will of God. Yet luckily for Rebecca her grandmother shut them both up quick. Emmett who came with Michael and Wilma, used their grandparents getting onto their parents to let Rebecca know he doesn’t believe a word they said. Letting Rebecca know that he is and will always be in her corner. Rebecca hadn’t felt more loved in that moment by her brother and grandparents.

January 8th, 1977, at 11:38 pm, came along and Rebecca and Bryan needed to name their twin boys, they named them, Jeremy David and Markus Ryan Gordon. Jeremy and Ryan for Jeremiah Ryan Holms and Markus and David for Janice’s grandfather and father. Rebecca ended up needing to have an emergency c-section as things quickly started to complicate with the birthing process. Rebecca was in recovery for two months. During those two months Rebecca’s self-worth plummeted as her mother came to help her and Bryan with the twins as Bryan picked up extra shifts and hours at his place of work to compensate for the time off that Rebecca had to take to recover. She wasn’t producing enough breast milk for both her sons and her mother was clear to point out how she was failing every time she had to use formula to feed her grandchildren. Rebecca started to feel like a failure as a mother and a wife the more her mother nagged in her ears. Bryan was never aware of how badly Rebecca’s mother was getting to her. He always got home late at night, but on one of his days off when Rebecca was no longer on bed rest and she was fixing up two bottles for Jeremy and Markus, he watched how Rebecca’s lips pierced together and her hands shook. Rebecca flinched as her mother said her usual tripe of how much of a failure she was. Bryan kicked Wilma out of his house that day. He took his son from Wilma’s arms and told her to leave. He quickly made Rebecca look at him. Hand to her cheek, speaking to her softly saying she wasn’t a failure and doing everything to keep her children fed. Bryan was so gentle towards her that she was able to calm down and slowly build up her confidence. Mrs. Holms only further built it up as Bryan called her to replace Wilma in their home. Mrs. Holms was quick to tell Rebecca how well she was doing, and Rebecca held onto Bryan’s praises like they were a life force for her. She built back her confidence and Bryan wasn’t slow in showing her how proud of her he was. Mrs. Holms was more than willing to watch the boys as Bryan took Rebecca out to have a night away from work and watch their boys.

March 2nd, 1980, Rebecca and Bryan’s family grow from four to five and Jeremy and Markus become big brothers. Robert Michael Gordon was brought into the world with zero complications, and named for Rebecca’s father and grandfather with hopes that her father and mother would talk with her again. She missed her parents and brother. She wanted nothing but to have her family in her life. Her parents did very little to keep communication between Rebecca and them. Rebecca pulled all the wait. That year was also the same year that Bryan was accepted into Rebecca’s high school’s Exy coach, until another more qualified individual would take over—Rebecca was excited that her husband would be working with her, and all her colleagues raved about how cute they were when they came in with their boys. The twin toddlers being the rave of the child development classes and Markus being a quiet hit with the pre-school attendant. Yet that didn’t stop Rebecca growing concerned and worried as she noticed that Bryan pulled back and was starting to become rather harsh towards her. Snapping at her more often. Giving her the cold shoulder. Nothing seemed to change that. Yet their new routine did help create a steady and safe feeling environment. Nothing would go wrong as long as they stayed like this, and Bryan started to look into quitting his second job at the hardware store. That was until Rebecca informed him that they would be expecting a sixth mouth to feed.

April 21st, 1982, Bryan Seth Gordon jr. is born. Named for Bryan as they both shared a birthday and there was no denying that Seth was Bryan’s son. All of their kids shared a resemblance with Bryan, but Seth was almost an exact copy of Bryan and that made Bryan soften a hard shell he had started to develop as troubles with money started to become an issue once more. Both Rebecca and Bryan having to work second jobs and rely on the Holms often. Rebecca and Bryan both ran the candle stick at both ends and they didn’t talk to each other more than in passing. Rebecca rarely even got to tuck Jeremy, Markus, Robert, and Seth into bed as she arrived home by the time, they were all sleeping. Bryan arrived even later but was always up before Rebecca’s alarm went off to get the boys ready and dressed before they all headed to the high school. Their routine was chaos and Rebecca and Bryan’s relationship started to wear thin. Rebecca couldn’t get Bryan to talk with her if they had days off together without it ending in Bryan frustratingly telling Rebecca that he needs some time to herself. She couldn’t talk to her husband and the father of her kids without him getting frustrated and annoyed. The only time Rebecca found Bryan happy was when he was alone with Seth. Just holding him. Talking to him about his day or some new rule changes at either of his jobs. Rebecca wanted Bryan to talk to her about those things. She wanted to have the man who she had fallen for back in her life. She felt lost, so when Bryan expressed wanting some time alone together, she was more than thankful. Worried, he’d started to regret ever being with her. She relished every moment alone that Bryan gave her.

August 8th, 1984 comes around and Rebecca, seven months pregnant, gets a call from her brother Forest letting her know that their mother, father, and little brother died in a plane crash on their way to a college visit for Emmett. Rebecca fell into a deep despair. The last conversation she had with her father was her calling a phone telling her mother and father that Seth had been born and her father just expressed disappointment that he was named after Bryan. Rebecca lost herself as she delt with the news. While every communication fell off between her and her family, she still desperately wanted her parents to love her like they had in the past. She wanted her momma to tell her how she was always going to be her baby and for her daddy to tell her how much he loved her. All of that was gone for good. Rebecca went on survival mode. She went to work, cleaned the house, went to her doctors’ appointments, and took care of the other boys all while giving minimal attention to Bryan. Rebecca’s grief ate at her for so long that when October 23rd of that year came around and Rebecca and Bryan welcomed their fifth son, Emmett Tyler, into the world she couldn’t connect with Emmett at all. Rebecca experienced “baby blues” to an extreme degree. She again went into survival mode. Bryan ended up being the one who took care of Emmett for the most part. Rebecca’s change in attitude and work ethic has caused her to be under scrutiny by her boss. Rebecca just isn’t bringing her all and it’s causing her work to suffer. One morning as she was getting ready for work, she caught a glimpse of herself in a mirror. She broke down crying. She looked like her momma. She looked so much like her momma, and she couldn’t handle it. She sat down on the bed crying, trying to calm down as she knew Bryan was waking up and taking care of all the boys. Yet as she was struggling to calm down, she was met with an angry and vindictive Bryan. Sat at the edge of her bed, getting close to hyper ventilating, she was struck across the face by her husband. She blinked, looked up at him and saw the anger and resentment plastered on his face as he went in on her and criticized her for how she’d been acting over the last months. When Bryan left the room Rebecca sat with a hand to where Bryan had hit her. She took a deep breath in and buried down the wave of emotions that threatened to come to the surface. She fixed herself up once more and put on a mask to appease her boss and Bryan. Rebecca and Bryan’s relationship became extremely strained after this point. They fought often and when they were not fighting the two were drunk, which led them to make decisions that neither of them would make sober.

December 20th 1986, the day Forest Victor Gordon was born and the Gordons went from seven to eight and marked the last happy birth and holiday within the Gordon household. It was quiet before the storm. Rebecca dropped her guard as she watched Bryan on again play with Jeremy(8), Markus(8), Robert(6), and trying his hardest to keep Seth(4) included. She was watching the man she fell for once again. Not the man who hit her and berated her. Yet it wasn’t all happy and nice. Janice and Forest were visiting. Janice had every problem with everything that Rebecca and Bryan were doing to run their household. Criticizing how Rebecca and Bryan let their young boys to be rambunctious and active and run around their small home. Rebecca could tell that Bryan’s patience was running thin. She could see the anger building in his eyes, and it caused her to have a growing fear. And to have a growing stress. Bryan finally snapped at Janice. His anger bubbling up over. Rebecca felt an intense fear as she slipped away into the kitchen. She tried to stay calm as she listened to her husband just yell at the top of his lungs at her sister in-law, and as soon as she got the courage to go out and try to deescalate the situation her water broke. Which worked well to deescalate the situation at hand as Bryan was snapped out of his tirade to get his wife to the hospital. Forest Victor Gordon wasn’t an abnormal birth. No, he was completely healthy, and he took after her more so than any of her other sons. Rebecca and Bryan took Forest home from the hospital just five days later and the only thing that could have made it better was for it to snow.

That Christmas was the last happy Christmas and the last time Rebecca saw her brother and sister in-law outside of letters and a phone call here and there. Rebecca was completely secluded from her family. Bryan was growing more and more miserable. Going out at night and not coming back till the next morning. Snapping at their sons when they asked the smallest questions. Rebecca was powerless as she watched Bryan shoot down Jeremy, David, Robert, or even Bryan Jr. tries to get his attention for anything. She was powerless as she watched Bryan completely ignore Emmett and Forest. His breath constantly smelled of stale beer and Rebecca felt guilty for enjoying spending most nights alone in their bed. Rebecca felt guilty for resenting the nights Bryan didn’t go out. Yet she still ended up being convinced to get drunk with Bryan and to spend a long night together with him. Rebecca didn’t think anything would come up from that night. It was only one. Nothing could come up from it. She saw how angry Bryan got at each bill that came through their door. Nothing could come up from that night. It would just make Bryan angry. And yet, something did come from that night. Just two months after that night Rebecca got clued in that something might have happened. Rebecca went to the doctors under the guise of running errands. She had to take her younger boys with her as they couldn’t be relied on to stay quiet. That appointment confirmed her suspicion, and it was a good thing that neither Emmett nor Forest could really understand nor care what was being discussed. Rebecca went on a quick grocery run knowing where everything was and coming up with a story that she just wanted to keep the house quiet for Bryan if he asked why it took so long. It took almost a month for Rebecca to come up with courage to tell Bryan there was going to be a seventh child in their family. It didn’t go well. Rebecca was talking to him in the kitchen, one of the rare, pleasant conversations that reminded her on why she fell for him. It made her feel safe and like he’d react well to the news. He didn’t. Bryan’s reaction was to take a plate and to throw it near Rebecca yelling at her. To protect her boys, she locked the back door to keep them outside till Bryan locked himself in their room or left to go drink. He left to go drink.

The situation didn’t get better. It got worse. Jeremy and Markus becoming the target of Bryan’s anger. Rebecca couldn’t stand that. She wasn’t going to allow Bryan to needlessly be cruel to her sons. Not when they did nothing wrong. Not when Bryan was angry with her. Rebecca enrolled Jeremy, Markus, Robert, and Seth into a small league Exy extracurricular so that they were out of the house. Rebecca made sure that Emmett and Forest were in her sight 24/7 and never alone with Bryan. She didn’t want his anger to be taken out on them. July 21st, 1988, Jackson Cole Gordon was born. It was early in the morning or late into the night, depending on how you looked at it. Rebecca gave birth to Jackson alone, immediately seeing that he took after Bryan almost as much as Bryan jr. did. Rebecca held off from naming him till Bryan came with the rest of the boys. Bryan barely looked at the baby in Rebecca’s arms before he told her he didn’t care and walked out to go smoke. Rebecca wanted to cry but held off as Jeremy and David, just 10 years old, walked over to look at the baby. Rebecca turned her attention to them and watched as the other boys, besides Forest who had been placed on the bed with her, crowded around her to see their brother. Rebecca named him Jackson Cole for no other reason than she liked how it sounded.  

For that first year it was hell for Rebecca. She was struggling to keep up with watching all the young boys, take care of Jackson’s needs, make sure the younger two were being taken care of, etc. And then it got worse when on November 9th, 1989, Bryan gave Rebecca divorce papers. He gave her an ultimatum that she would sign the papers now or Bryan would just disappear and leave. Rebecca knew she couldn’t do this without anything from Bryan, so she signed the papers. Her parents’ voices ringing in her head calling her a failure for not making her marriage work. Going against God. She felt like a failure, and it only increased when she and Bryan finalized the divorce on April 30th, 1990, and the only form of communication Rebecca had with Bryan was the child support check that was sent every month. Rebecca went from having two jobs to three. Dipping into the attempt of a college fund for her sons to make ends meet with the jobs. Rebecca ended up having to give Jeremy and Markus more responsibility than they should have had once their dad had left them. Only seeing them for minutes at a time as she dropped them off at the house telling her to pretend no one was home if anyone knocked, telling them how to use a stove top to feed everyone. Given them instructions on how to care for Forest and Jackson. Jackson more so because he was still just two years old. Rebecca for the first time in her life completely resented her life choices and the choices that got here. She ended up getting angry and she hated being angry. She started to smoke and drink more often. As the boys all were in the school age (1993) Rebecca paid for all of them to be in the Exy little league. Until she found out that Markus, Robert, Emmett, and Forest skipped the practices and stayed at home. She wasn’t angry for long. In fact, finding out she didn’t need to pay for all her sons made her relieved. And she was more the grateful that the two carbon copies of the man who left her were out of the house during the time she had off if she had time off.

As Bryan Jr. and Jackson grew up looking more and more like their father the more Rebecca started to resent them for it. Rebecca was colder with them, confusing them both, Jackson especially. Bryan started to go by Seth by the time he turned 14 (1996) and Rebecca was more than happy to no longer have to say the name of her ex-husband. That was the year that Jeremy got a full ride scholarship to the University of Alabama for his academics and Markus was offered a scholarship for his aesthetic skills in football for the University of Georgia. Rebecca watched as Jeremy was able to coordinate his living situation to stay at home and to help her with all the kids and for him to get a job to help around. And then in the same breath for her other eldest son to pack up his things and ship of to Georgia and never come back home. She felt betrayed as much as she felt proud. She didn’t end up stopping what she was doing as she ended up needing the extra money for personal effects. She rarely held a conversation with any of her sons. Less so Seth and Jackson. She didn’t see the need to when she saw Jeremy taking care of them. And she needed to sleep. She ended up changing her kids’ emergency contact to Jeremy and she wasn’t the first one told when Robert was caught smoking marijuana at school (1998). Instead, she was confronted by Jeremy who had to pick up Robert who was suspended. Rebecca stared at them both and looked at Robert telling him to get a job so he could stay out of trouble. That caused Robert to snap at her and he yelled at her. Telling her how all he wanted was for his mom to act like a mom and how he was glad that as soon as the year was over Markus was coming to get him. Rebecca snapped. All the resentment and anger she had been feeling for years straight coming up in one fell swoop. She couldn’t believe how much like his father Robert was. And she made sure she let Robert know. She relished it as she saw the look on Robert’s face twist from anger to a deep hurt. She didn’t care that she hurt him. He deserved it for planning on leaving them all. Jeremy tried to call her out on it but she closed her bedroom door before he could even get a word out.

Rebecca after that point didn’t have any idea what her sons were into until it was too late. It was a 1999 October evening; Rebecca was working the night shift at a local restaurant when she found Jeremy blowing up her phone. She grits her teeth as she explained to her boss, she needed to call her son back. When she calls Jeremy back, he immediately answers frantically explaining how Seth was found unconscious in an alleyway blocked from their house. How he had overdosed on something. Jeremy was talking to frantically and it sounded like he was crying but all she got out of the call was that she needed to come down to the hospital and loose hours of pay. She was not happy. As she listened to the doctors, she found out her son had overdosed on Heroin and was “thankfully doing well”. Rebecca wanted nothing to do with Seth at this point. Yet she couldn’t say that to the doctors. So, she just looked over at Jeremy who looked ashamed but not for Seth but for himself. She told the doctors to differ to Jeremy. She had to go back to work to keep the lights, water, and just everything running at home. Jeremey tried to protest her leaving but she told him she trusted him and left. She wouldn’t find out what had happened till she walked in on Jeremy and Seth talking with each other at the kitchen table. Seth looked like he had been crying, and Jeremy had a prescription in his hand. Jeremy took Seth to a shrink. One of her sons was seeing a shrink. She could hardly believe it and walked out and moved onto leaving for work.

Everything was uneventful from that point. All her sons at one point left for college except her youngest who looked like his father and was in his last years of high school. At this point Jeremy had left this house behind and moved into the more high-class part of Birmingham as he got a job promotion. Rebecca was left with the son that was the last straw for her son to leave. And she made that known for Jackson. When She found Jackson hanging out with his friend “Matthew” and catching them as they kissed, she completely lost it on him. But not before telling Matthew to leave and that he wasn’t welcome in her house. She went on a completely homophobic rant at Jackson telling him he wasn’t to bring Matthew to her house or to speak with Matthew at all. She would have gotten away with it too if Jackson hadn’t told Seth what had happened when he was away. Seth picked his first fight with his mother. He completely lost it on her yelling at her that she must be so deranged to think she had any say over his life when she made it clear that she didn’t want anything to do with any of them. They looked too much like dad. He told her if he found out that she continued to speak to Jackson like that he’d make her life a living hell. Then the summer of 2006 started. Rebecca came from work, and she immediately went to go lie down in her bedroom. Take in the quiet that was soon to end knowing that Seth would be coming to interrupt her life. She hadn’t thought anything was a miss and fell asleep.

Then she was woken by sirens outside and as she annoyingly came out of her bedroom and walked past the only other occupied room in the house Rebecca froze as she saw Seth holding onto Jackson. Her heart stopped for a moment and before she could fully understand what was going on a pounding came against her door and Rebecca went to answer it. She felt numb as she pointed the EMS to where her sons were. She watched as they took Jackson away and Rebecca just motioned for them to let Seth take Jackson away. She couldn’t go with them. Not when she resented them both from the moment Bryan was truly gone forever. She didn’t go to see Jackson in the hospital after the fact either. When Seth came with Dr. Nattalee Monroe-Wilson to collect Jackson’s things Rebecca didn’t argue. She knew that met she wouldn’t be seeing Jackson and Seth around anymore. Rebecca was alone. Completely alone.

This would have marked the end of Rebecca’s story line if suddenly she hadn’t seen her ex-husband’s name plastered on the TV at the sport bar she worked at and saw her sons face staring at her. Seth Gordon, Palmetto Starting Striker, dead at 25, overdose. If Rebecca could have felt anything she would have stormed out of there. But she had drinks to sell, and it wasn’t like he was going to amount to anything anyways. He was just like his father. She was called in to collect his ashes. She wasn’t driving all the way to South Carolina to pick up the ashes of the embarrassment they called her son. She stopped answering calls from that number. She stopped being her son’s mother.

Bryan Seth Gordon Senior Jeremy David Gordon Markus Ryan Gordon Robert Michael Gordon Bryan Seth Gordon Jr. Emmett Tyler Gordon Forest Victor Gordon Jackson Cole Gordon Matthew Brice Wilson Ophellia Eurydice Wilson-Gordon Dion Lysander Wilson-Gordon Orion Othello Wilson-Gordon

[gordonlore]

Bryan Seth Gordon Sr.

Bryan Seth Gordon was born in Birmingham, Alabama late into the cool summer night on April 21st, 1949, to a young sixteen-year-old girl whom he never knew besides the letter she had left him for when he turned sixteen; the age at which she gave him up. Bryan had dusty/dirty blond hair that only grew darker into a lighter brown. He also had blue eyes that would take many foster parents by storm and yet Bryan never grew up in a stable home. He was award of the state till he aged out at 18 (April 21st, 1967). He was in and out of homes, never staying anywhere long enough to form a real bond—or to hold a job. That led Bryan to enlisted himself into the military enrolling himself into boot camp. Where he spent the next eight weeks training and forming bonds between the other recruits around him. One of them, Jeremiah Ryan Holms, becoming his closest friend. The only one he opened to about his past when Jeremiah opened to him about his. When they got deployed to Vietnam Bryan and Jeremiah only grew closer and Bryan started to feel hope for his own future as the optimistic Jeremiah started to place Bryan in his future. Long talks about Jeremiah and Bryan getting a white picket fence homes next to each other, raising their families together like family. Bryan held onto that idea—that dream. That dream was destroyed quickly when the final assignment Jeremiah and Bryan were given ended horribly.

It was only eight years (May 30th, 1975) after Bryan and Jeremiah had graduated boot camp, and as the assignment started, everything went to plan, nothing out of the ordinary. Then their squad was attacked. Bryan can’t tell you what went wrong—it wasn’t anything on his squad’s actions. It was just horribly bad luck. One moment he was giving commands and the next they were ambushed, and Bryan couldn’t hear, and his vision was split in two. His heart pounded in his chest, and he couldn’t feel his leg—one of them. It was hard to tell which. It was a messy and terrifying situation. Where were his men? Where was Jeremiah? What was happening? The next thing he did know he had found his men—not a single survivor other than himself, and if he looked down, he saw the blood and the massive wound that showed bone in his left leg. He hobbled around and soon found Jeremiah. Not dead, but soon to be dead, laying not that far away and staring at the sky. What happened? Bryan saw the wounds. The one at his next and the one at his abdomen. Bryan went to stop the bleeding soon after he called in a rescue—but Jeremiah stopped his hands looking at the sky. He couldn’t speak, and his grip on Bryan’s hand was week and Bryan could completely ignore it and place pressure to try and save Jeremiah—but Bryan stopped, and then moved to hold Jeremiah’s hand till he died not soon after. Everything was a bloody and gory mess. The rescue team came and gathered him and the bodies of his men, and Jeremiah. Bryan was taken to the medic and patched up the best that they could and was eventually discharged and sent back “home” to America.

When Bryan came “home”, he had the duty of personally informing the families of the men he lost, and he volunteered himself in informing Jeremiah’s family. He needed to tell them personally. Let them know what kind of impact Jeremiah made on his family. So, when Bryan came home he immediately let Mr. and Mrs. Holms know of their son’s unfortunate end, Bryan was surprised when Jeremiah’s mother immediately brought him into a hug and practically dragged him inside. Mrs. Holms made Bryan sit down and relax, and asked Bryan if he was doing okay, if there was anything she and her family could do for Jeremiah’s best friend. Yet Bryan was so awkward he just left politely and accepted the home number Mrs. Holms gave him. Bryan ended up making his way back to Birmingham, Alabama and started to job hunt, looking for a place to live. He eventually laded a job at a local hardware store and had a one-bedroom apartment that he slowly filled with furniture. It wasn’t the life he imagined with Jeremiah, but it was what he was able to accomplish on his own. He didn’t have any desire to change how his life was going at the age of 26. Yet when he went out to drink, a habit he made that he wouldn’t shake in his lifetime, he met a 20-year-old small town USA woman with dark hair and amber eyes that nearly made him swoon out of his chair. That woman was Rebecca Victoria Roberts. Bryan would soon learn that Rebecca grew up in Mobile, Alabama her entire life and moved to Birmingham to pursue her education career. Bryan couldn’t help but offer a drink or two. A decision that would lead to major changes his life.

August 19th, 1977, Bryan and Rebecca eloped to the disapproval of Rebecca’s family, who wanted her to have a traditional wedding in their family church. Bryan and Rebecca did have a celebration of their marriage in their small three-bedroom townhouse in the southside of Birmingham. Bryan and Rebecca truthfully didn’t want to get married when they did—but the growing baby bump that was getting harder to hide; hell, they were expecting twins and Rebecca’s family made it very clear they wouldn’t help unless they married each other. So, they eloped knowing that Rebeca was not going to be able to hide her bump in any wedding dress. She was already five months along and with twins. There was only so much that could hide her bump. Their reception went well—though Rebecca’s church pastor father wouldn’t let them forget that their pregnancy was still out of wedlock—Bryan had to clench his teeth till they all went to their own hotel rooms. January 8th, 1978 came and Rebecca gave birth to twin boys. Jeremy David and Markus Ryan Gordon. Both were named after Jeremiah, something that Rebecca let Bryan do, knowing how much his one and only friend meant to them. Bryan started to soften up as he was the major caretaker of the twins for the first couple months after Rebecca had to recover from an emergency c-section. Bryan also had to reassure her worth as she wasn’t producing enough milk for both their sons, and they resorted to formula—which Rebecca’s folks couldn’t go a moment without saying how they disapprove.

Bryan wanted to go back to when he was 16 and knocking people’s heads around; but he wasn’t 16, he was 28 and working two jobs to help pay for the things babies need and the things they needed. When Jeremy and Markus became a year-old Rebecca and Bryan both agreed that they both needed to work to make this work; but they didn’t have anyone around to watch Jeremy and Markus . . . until Bryan remembered Mrs. and Mr. Holms. They were the reason Bryan had his job at the hardware store and the hardware store got him his second job as a mechanic. He reached out to them for childcare. Mrs. Holms was more than happy to watch the sweet babies while he and Rebecca worked—hell Mrs. Holms even worked at making sure Bryan and Rebecca had time to themselves. Then on March 2nd, 1980, Robert Michael Gordon was born. Named after Rebecca’s father and grandfather in an attempt to smooth things with her family. Things got tighter and tensions started to heat up between Bryan and Rebecca. With twin toddlers running around the house and a newborn in the picture things went from organized chaos to utter chaos in a manner of months. Bryan’s patients started to wear thin, but luckily for him a spot at the high school Rebecca worked at opened up for coach of the High School’s new Exy team. And all they wanted was someone to read the play book and warm the seat for a more qualified individual to take the seat. Unfortunately for the high school that person wouldn’t come for another 10 years. Bryan got a raise taking the position and to the students and the staff he and Rebecca looked like the perfect couple as they brought their three kids into the daycare together and went on about their days; sharing lunch in the staff room and leaving to drop their boys with Mrs. Holms before they got to their second jobs. Even though tensions started to heat between Bryan and Rebecca, Bryan still saw her as the women he married and the mother to his sons, and he loved her. Everything was still looking up for the family. And when April 21st, 1982, Bryan’s 33rd birthday was spent in a hospital with his three boys, four- and two-years old waiting for his fourth son to be born. It was only fitting that he be named after Bryan as the boy was born on the same date as him on 33 years apart. Bryan held Bryan jr. for the first time while Rebecca looked at them both with a smile. Bryan had grown frustrated and angry with Rebecca during her pregnancy—no, once she informed him of her pregnancy. Bryan’s anger simmered down as he started to recall his two oldest would going into kindergarten the following year. Bryan grew softer once again, but that didn’t stop him from having a drink or four before going to bed every night before coming home from work. Bryan on his days off usually involve him sitting in the living room watching the older boys play together while Rebecca takes care Bryan jr. He’s happier than he’s ever been, and he gets an image in his mind of the life Jeremiah had planned for them both and he can’t help but feel damn well close to it. That happiness didn’t last for long.

Rebecca ended up experiencing a major lost in her family. Both her mother, father, and younger brother died in a plane crash; just two months before their fifth son, Emmett Tyler Gordon, who was named for her younger brother, was born. October 23rd, 1984. Rebecca was in a deep depressive state. This frustrated Bryan more then he would admit. Not because he was concerned for her, because the school board threatened to fire Rebecca unless she started to put the same energy back into her students. They couldn’t support their family of six on a single income high school Exy coach salary. Weeks and weeks went by, and Bryan grew angrier and angrier as he watched his wife continue to go through the motions each day. Then it happened. One night, after Bryan was pulled into his boss’s office to discuss Rebecca once more, he watched Rebecca cry at the end of their bed. He was done waiting. Rebecca still had her older brothers and younger sister in her life. Bryan had no one after he lost Jeremiah and he still reported for duty with the same energy after Jeremiah was no longer on Earth. Bryan confronted Rebecca about it. They fought, and it was a loud, almost violent argument. Yet it was the most emotion Rebecca showed other than a numb blank stare in a month. It ended with Bryan stopping himself from hitting Rebecca and storming off to a bar to drink until he forgot what he was angry about. This cycle went on for weeks, and then it ended with Rebecca getting into Bryan’s face and that ended with Bryan backhanding Rebecca across the face before storming out to drink. Rebecca stopped just going through the motions and the next morning Rebecca awoke before everyone and prepared breakfast in seemingly happy manner. Bryan’s boss stopped inquiring about Rebecca and Rebecca didn’t lose her job. Things were not the same as before, but Bryan and Rebecca’s arguments stopped for the time being. It didn’t take long be Bryan and Rebecca got drunk together and found themselves in a very familiar situation.

December 1986 was the first Christmas that wasn’t spent with yelling and anger from Bryan Sr. Instead, it was happy. Bryan spent time outside playing with Jeremy, Markus, Robert, and trying to include Bryan jr. as much as he could in their games. Bryan also took charge and helped Rebecca look after Emmett as she worked on the cooking as they also hosted Rebecca’s older brother, Forest Cole, and sister in-law, Janice Madeline Gordon. Yet Janice seemed to have nothing but criticisms to say about Bryan, Rebecca, the house, and how the boys acted. Bryan put on a front to try to stay positive for his wife, but when the 20th came around, and Janice went on one of her long tirades—Bryan snapped, which thankfully was cut short as Rebecca’s water broke and started to go into labor. Bryan pushed his anger to the side and gathered everyone taking Rebecca to the hospital and on the 20th of December, Forest Victor Gordon was born. Rebecca named him for his older brother and mother; giving him the same middle name she had, just in the masculine variant. Bryan staved his anger for one of his sons being named after her older brother. Yet it was a happy time for the family. Forest marked number eight in Bryan’s family and in a weird attitude change, he forgot about the money it would take to raise them. The only thing Bryan could have thought would make this Christmas scene better, would for it to of snowed the night they brought Forest home from the hospital. A white Christmas would have made it all the better.

Happiness never lasted long with Bryan as his boss started to get onto him about actually winning more games than losing them. Putting pressure on him and Rebecca. Thankfully almost all his boys were in school. It was most of his kids that were in the high school’s daycare. Bryan was starting to come home more agitated then ever and was snapping on his other boys and yelling at Rebecca. He was drinking more often and was secluding himself as much as he could from his family. Looking at the bills that had started to pile once again. The entire house was tense, and he felt the anger rise inside him. So, when Rebecca came to him with the news of a seventh child on the way, Bryan blew up at her. In his anger at the knowledge of their family of eight becoming a family of nine he grabbed a plate from the counter he was standing at and threw it at the wall next to Rebecca’s head. This irrational anger towards Rebecca didn’t quit or subside after that. It was a constant. Jeremy and Markus got the brunt of the anger while Rebecca was pregnant. They were ten years old and old enough to know you do shit right or not at all. Bryan also became a rather harsh Exy coach—he still treated those players better than his boys and wife.

July 21st,1988, early in the morning Jackson Cole Gordon was born. Bryan didn’t even look at him before he walked out of the room before telling Rebecca, “Name it whatever you want I couldn’t give a rats ass what this thing is called.” When Rebecca and Jackson came home Bryan didn’t pay any attention to Jackson. He stayed out all night drinking and would come home angry and just wanting to sleep. His patience with his was wearing thin every day. He couldn’t stand being in the house anymore and that “damn fucking baby” was getting on his last nerve. November 9th, 1989 came by and in one of the rare moments that Bryan was sober, yet a cigarette still in his mouth he placed divorce papers in front of Rebecca as she was still taking care of Jackson. Bryan was done. He didn’t give Rebecca any chance to discuss this. It was either they divorced and when about this peacefully for Bryan was going to leave that second and she wasn’t going to see a cent. Rebecca complied and on April 30th, 1990, Bryan and Rebecca finalized the divorce and Bryan left the next morning not giving any communication besides the court ordered child support check. He wasn’t part of his family’s life from that point on.

Rebecca Victoria (Roberts) Gordon Jeremy David Gordon Markus Ryan Gordon Robert Michael Gordon Bryan Seth Gordon Jr. Emmett Tyler Gordon Forest Victor Gordon Jackson Cole Gordon Matthew Brice Wilson Ophellia Eurydice Wilson-Gordon Dion Lysander Wilson-Gordon Orion Othello Wilson-Gordon