goteamventure

[goteamventure]

I’m at my dog sitting job in a pretty old countryside farm and the lady who does the cleaning up here told me this morning that there are old tunnels (now closed up) running from the house to the church (1km) and I did not want to know that

[goteamventure]

[goteamventure]

any time i hear the insufferable transphobic athlete arguments i think of that one time in middle school when my boys lacrosse team did a full-contact scrimmage against the girls team (who typically play with limited contact) and i, a six-foot, 180lb defender, got utterly laid-out by this 5-foot-nothing girl experiencing the newly-unleashed animosity accompanied by violent sport and as i looked up at my assailant from flat on my back i experienced a brief bout of heterosexuality and fell wildly in love and then had to be taken to the ER because i had a concussion

[goteamventure]

why are you weird

be more specific

[goteamventure]

Applause

(via)

[goteamventure]

You ever notice how a washing machine 10 minutes is actually about 17 minutes human time

[goteamventure]

The fact that im getting raw dogged by life everyday. Don’t have any medication to take the edge off. Nor any addiction, I don’t even got a religion or spirituality to fall back on. Im facing this life stone cold sober every goddamn day??? Why???

[goteamventure]

"be ready by 9" "i'll handle it" "i'm walking you to your car" "i'll fix it" "text me when you get home safe" "i'm already on it" "i made us a reservation" "i have something planned for us">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[goteamventure]

i was a lover in my past life, a lover in this one and i will be a lover in the afterlife

[goteamventure]

[goteamventure]

How the fuck am I supposed to meet a fellow lesbian and then convince her to date me

Don't know anything about lesbians, but maybe if you walked around carrying a baseball bat that'd be really bad ass.

[goteamventure]

good news i'm the most fuckable person at this vehicular manslaughter

[goteamventure]

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

[goteamventure]

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change

[goteamventure]

[goteamventure]

[goteamventure]

They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.