gothicfairytopia - Tumblr blog

[gothicfairytopia]

Dehumanizing women because of their beliefs and calling them names because you disagree with them really takes away any ~virtue~ you have for supposedly supporting female victims.

You’re happy to call anyone who doesn’t agree with you a terf.

You’re happy to say anyone who disagrees with you is a terf and doesn’t deserve to be listened to.

Bigot: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices

that’s you

i literally can’t even tell what i said to get this response loll

i never said not to believe anybody, y’all are going crazy defending terfs against imaginary attackers.

i can drop hobby recommendations if u need them

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Because I believe that everyone should have access to the full podcast without giving their money to TERFs, I've made it available here in this Google Drive.

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my kink is karma intro | bonnaroo 2024

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Unfollowing Neil Gaiman after his response to the allegations was that one of the girls was experiencing "false memories" due to a memory condition SHE DOESN'T HAVE

[gothicfairytopia]

i can appreciate your perspective, but (1) i think we as a culture already tend to be suspicious of sexual assault allegations, plus the law is rarely on the side of the victims even when their claims are legitimate, so the issue of believing victims when we ought to be wary of false allegations is not a problem 99% of the time, and (2) i just think it’s poor timing to be saying this as allegations come out (especially since there’s so much questioning about their legitimacy, even in spite of a confession), and probably would have been better posted at a different time.

I expect to be blocked by a lot of people for what I will write but I need to write anyway.

To the people who say "believe the victims"/"stand behind women" do you really mean "if a woman says she is a victim I will believe her, her words is enough" ?

I am 40. One of my best friend was abused by an ex-boyfriend. I know how hard it was for her that not believed her, that she had to prove what she said. But her and I, we also know one other woman who lied to destroy her ex-boyfriend life. We also have a male friend, a teacher, who was accused of sexual assault by one of his female student. Fortunately for him, he had an alibi...

I think we should believe the victims and the women in the sense of it is important to realise that they are a lot of horror around us and that we should never blame a victim for what happened to them. We should also be aware than more women than men are victims of sexual abuses.

But....when we speak about one specific case I think we should be prudent. I personally will not say "if someone say they are a victim it is true" by principle. I know they are people who don't say the truth. Because they are lying, because they are psychotics, because their memory is tricking them...

I remember a colleague. A really great woman. She always believed rumors and people who said they were a victim at work until the day she was accuse of stealing money (we had the solid proof afterwards that it was someone else).

I don't write this in favor of Neil Gaiman. I am just afraid that so many well-intentioned people say that we should "always believe the victims" without any proof or investigation....

Before closing that long post I want to add that I of course never blame a victim. I know to much of them who feel guilty for what happened.

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"but she SAID she was happy in the relationship while she actively seeing him so obviously when she says she was abused after leaving the relationship she's lying!" "but she SAID that she consented to sex multiple times in the relationship so obviously when she said she was subjected to nonconsensual sex at other points in the relationship she's lying!" "but when he directly told her that he was planning on killing himself if she accused him of rape she insisted to him that everything was consensual and she would never claim otherwise, so obviously she's lying!"

how quickly yall forget everything i know you know about abusive relationships when its your personal favorite celebrity being accused. why are you acting like these things aren't pretty common for survivors of abuse?

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rishi sunak, kemi badenoch, andrew tate, and all of rw twitter on social media dragging david tennant. who famously. doesn't have social media

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as someone who has been both a victim of sexual assault and a victim of a false allegation of sexual assault, i think this is really insensitive to post right now. most people who come forward publicly like this don’t lie. this is the result of a full investigation by journalists and the police have been investigating since 2022. now isn’t the time to be getting into the semantics of what we mean when we say we believe victims, or to act like the response to an accusation against a powerful man can be compared to responses to accusations against people we know personally.

also, in general it’s best to believe victims UNTIL there’s a reason not to. when i found out that i’d been falsely accused, honestly the most disturbing thing to me was that my supervisors didn’t take the accusation seriously and planned never to do anything about it or even to mention it to me. i wish they would have told me sooner. i wish they would’ve been serious enough about investigating accusations to do something, anything. saying we believe victims doesn’t mean we need to be insensitive to evidence as it comes out.

i just think this isn’t something to be posting right now. when victims come forward we don’t need to be starting discourse about when we ought to believe them.

I expect to be blocked by a lot of people for what I will write but I need to write anyway.

To the people who say "believe the victims"/"stand behind women" do you really mean "if a woman says she is a victim I will believe her, her words is enough" ?

I am 40. One of my best friend was abused by an ex-boyfriend. I know how hard it was for her that not believed her, that she had to prove what she said. But her and I, we also know one other woman who lied to destroy her ex-boyfriend life. We also have a male friend, a teacher, who was accused of sexual assault by one of his female student. Fortunately for him, he had an alibi...

I think we should believe the victims and the women in the sense of it is important to realise that they are a lot of horror around us and that we should never blame a victim for what happened to them. We should also be aware than more women than men are victims of sexual abuses.

But....when we speak about one specific case I think we should be prudent. I personally will not say "if someone say they are a victim it is true" by principle. I know they are people who don't say the truth. Because they are lying, because they are psychotics, because their memory is tricking them...

I remember a colleague. A really great woman. She always believed rumors and people who said they were a victim at work until the day she was accuse of stealing money (we had the solid proof afterwards that it was someone else).

I don't write this in favor of Neil Gaiman. I am just afraid that so many well-intentioned people say that we should "always believe the victims" without any proof or investigation....

Before closing that long post I want to add that I of course never blame a victim. I know to much of them who feel guilty for what happened.

[gothicfairytopia]

“maybe there is something to be said for shades of grey” you take quotes out of context to condone abuse, thanks

[gothicfairytopia]

not to mention how isolated the house itself was!! there wasn’t anywhere for her to go! plus, she needed the job. she was vulnerable financially. and that’s without mentioning that she was hired by someone who was supposed to be her friend, someone she trusted. saying no and walking away would’ve been a complicated decision, and the abuse of power began immediately. i doubt she had time to think anything through. some people just lack the empathy to understand that.

i think a really key thing about the allegations is that you don’t need to “wait for more evidence” because what he already confessed to is Bad ?? why do some of you need anything more than

(1) a 61-year old famous author propositioning and sexually engaging with his 22-year old nanny within hours of meeting her, and then carrying on a relationship with her, and later having her sign a backdated NDA while withholding payments she needed to live; and

(2) a famous author in his 40s sleeping with a 20-year old fan whom he met when she was 18.

not to mention how vulnerable both were due to financial and family situations that he either knew about or should have known about.

what he’s confessed to is already wrong. you don’t need to wait before condemning him.

[gothicfairytopia]

i’d like to pepper in that neil gaiman gave the journalists an email making it look like one of the women was sending him “flirtatious” correspondence where she was being like “if i happened to fly to london on a whim would you happen to tell me what hotel lobby to loiter in” (supposedly implying she wanted to sleep with neil)

and when that woman showed the journalists the full thread it turned out she was actually making a joke in response to a photo of david tennant dressed as crowley

so like (1) that’s so relatable of her and (2) that is SO CRAZY of him

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i find the people saying that the allegations against neil gaiman aren't credible because the media source they're from is transphobic to be really fucking distasteful actually. don't use trans people against sa victims. nobody asked you to defend us by discrediting people trying to come forward about sexual assault. and honestly i don't really believe that it's the transphobia that is making you not want to believe these stories

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Men with a little social power and fame try not to commit heinous crimes against women challenge

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i think a really key thing about the allegations is that you don’t need to “wait for more evidence” because what he already confessed to is Bad ?? why do some of you need anything more than

(1) a 61-year old famous author propositioning and sexually engaging with his 22-year old nanny within hours of meeting her, and then carrying on a relationship with her, and later having her sign a backdated NDA while withholding payments she needed to live; and

(2) a famous author in his 40s sleeping with a 20-year old fan whom he met when she was 18.

not to mention how vulnerable both were due to financial and family situations that he either knew about or should have known about.

what he’s confessed to is already wrong. you don’t need to wait before condemning him.

[gothicfairytopia]

Popular fantasy author turns out to be human garbage - Neil Gaiman

The Neil Gaiman accusations are absolutely sickening and one of the worst parts is his rebuttal about Scarlett. He says that she was “suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship.” Something that isn’t in her medical history or records.

So, hysteria.

He’s basically accusing the 23 yr old nanny that he had a relationship with (in his 60s!) of being hysterical.

Gaiman is a rich, powerful and famous author. A girl in her 20s without any previous working experience started to work for him and on her first day of work, Gaiman claimed they started a “consensual sexual relationship” in which age gap (20/60), power dynamics (employer/employee), status differences (writer adored by millions of readers/lil miss nobody) didn't play any role (Gaiman said).

Yes. Neil Gaiman keeps intact his name as a wonderful and amazing fantasy author.

[gothicfairytopia]

do men not know how easy it is to just not Be That Way