* Ash * they/them * nonbinary dyke * horror fan and mountain goats enthusiast * adult *
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Text
living by my awesome sword #mysword
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
shoutouts to the human spinal column for ingeniously crushing itself under its own weight
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you are intrinsically evil
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
Be careful. Any of us could be screenshotted and posted to r/curatedtumblr at any moment
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
my mom has this awful terrible nicholas cage sequin pillow case where one side is his face and the other side is red so she did this to it and you have to see it every time you walk into the front room and she doesnt even have it on a fucking pillow its just the skin

621 notes
·
View notes
Text


LOOK WHAT MY HUSBAND IS DOING TO MY DOG
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i insert a small DNA sample into IBM's largest and most powerful supercomputer and after doing an utterly incomprehensible amount of calculations it prints out a little piece of ticker tape with a full list of every slur i can reclaim
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
When it comes to founding early civilizations, I can’t recommend fertile river valleys highly enough
59K notes
·
View notes
Text
mario is going to spin the wheel and dox whoever it lands on
YOSHI lives on YOSHI'S ISLAND
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
@strange-aeons HAS SUCCSEEDED IN ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING A CROAKERVERSE CHARACTER AND THUS MURDERING THE MUPPET JOKER
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
This week expect 3 days of the Pharaoh's Curse and highs near 110*F, followed by one month of darkness and scattered incursions of blight. Tonight, a minor kaiju breach is expected on the lower-east side. Emergency responders are standing by city-wide. Up Next: The summer's best grocery deals, brought to you by Kroger and Nestlé, the only two corporations remaining.
101 notes
·
View notes
Text
Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.
334K notes
·
View notes
Text
DOCTOR WHO UNLEASHED: 20 YEARS IN WALES
2K notes
·
View notes