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[gottaescape13]

15 Days since the wedding

I can't believe it's all real at times.

It's sorta a dream for me.

Really.

The day of the wedding was nearly perfect. The weather was incredibly beautiful, things went very well, with only a few, easily fixed hitches. It was absolutely, without question, one of the happiest days of my life.

Somehow, all the beauty Gods got together and decided to create a dream come true. My makeup turned out exactly how I wanted it and my hair cooperated with me. It wasn't too hot, and up on the bluff, the breeze was perfect.

I wish my dad could have been there, but it really was an incredible day that will always seem surreal to me.

The next few days also. Sunday we drove down to Lanesboro to the B&B. The house was amazing and our room was perfect. We had a nice walk in the cute little town along the river and ate at a nice restaurant before going back to the B & B. We enjoyed a game of chess, a little time outside where we shared a pipe and then went back to our room, had a bath in the awesome double jetted tub and enjoyed champagne and fruit with the most amazing fruit dip I've ever had.

And we made love in like the best way than ever before. Maybe even that we ever will. It really was dream-like and beautiful and perfect.

The next day we drove to Harmony and the cave, which I survived the 275 steps both up and down and it was really cool. And we spent a good hour at a big antique shop. We stopped in Rochester for Mongolian BBQ before getting home. Our little one night trip felt much, much longer and it was all absolutely perfect.

Really.

I can't believe how utterly amazing this has all been.

Not that things are perfect now. I fractured my ankle last week -- stress fracture of an old injury most likely, and much better now. Free money is starting to be not as plentiful -- and I don't want to dip into the $1000 we got in wedding gifts until we absolutely have to. I am still hoping we can escape out West sometime this year -- maybe right after school starts on around my birthday.

Going to get back into working again after injuring my ankle this week. I did have one massage at my studio yesterday to test it out and it went fairly well. Just have to take it slower for a bit. Thank God the unemployment is still coming for another month or so.

Not sure what this Sunday holds for us yet. Sam will be coming over later and I am planning on making a baked pasta dish for our supper, but no other big plans. I'd love to spend a little time at a park soon. I still can't really take a nice walk, but I just want to go sit outside somewhere, maybe down by the river or something. I think the weather will be ok. It finally rained for a bit yesterday after being way too dry for far too long -- all the lawns are turning brown and looking pretty sad.

Married life is pretty fucking awesome. More than another married time I've had anyway.

God that sounds horrible

But it's true.

I so love that man!

Really!

[gottaescape13]

OMG. Only 2 Days til the wedding!

I think we have most of it ready. The kids are coming over today to help me sort through everything and organize to make sure we have everything we need. I probably need to get more soda and a few odds and ends, but I do feel like I have nearly everything....it's just getting it all put together.

Figured out about how I want the flowers in my dress. Now just to tack them on. And I got some Peonies from (Tammy's) Brooks folks last night -- I hope just a few last til Saturday -- if not they said I can come grab more and I think Tami and a few others are keeping an eye out for me. And I have my artificial bouquet also if nothing else works. But I think I am good for flowers!

My dad isn't coming for the wedding. He is just still too sick and weak. Part of me is completely crushed. Monday was kind of a blur of disappointment and feeling overwhelmed. Cried a bit Tuesday morning, and then finding a nice B&B in Lanesboro for Steve and I to go to Sunday night after the wedding helped boost my mood again. I'm still very sad he won't be here, but he's still alive and I want that more than anything. Blue and Rachel can walk me down to Steve and Tami, and we'll have Mike video it so my dad can watch it at home, but it is a real bummer.

Gregory offered to help with photos for the wedding! This is awesome! I think with that and all the photos guests will take, we should have at least a couple good photos. All I hope for is one good one of me and Steve and the kids....something we can frame and put up in the living room somewhere.

It's been bloody hot since the day before Blue's graduation last week. Upper 90's and poor Steve has no AC in his car. The van's AC is doing pretty bad right now also. Ugh. They are forecasting it to be a bit cooler on Saturday...keeping fingers crossed that it is!

We have scheduled Mani/pedis for me and Steve and Rachel for tomorrow morning and then it's just pulling stuff together for Friday evening when we do our little meet up down at Fireside. And then:. Saturday and all the insanity, and all the hugs and smiles and kissing Steve and anxiety over fixing myself up just right and more kissing Steve and saying sappy things and probably crying more than one and smiling for photos and kissing Steve.

Really.

Best day ever, right?

Better be damn it.

[gottaescape13]

Only a week to go!

Blue graduated, we survived the party earlier today despite it nearly being 100 outside -- if fact, I think it.turned out pretty well, even with food being wasted because it was so bloody hot we couldn't save it and the cake melting to a complete mess (it tasted yummy anyway). Steve kept lamenting about the wasted food, and I get it, it was frustrating. But I'd do about anything for Blue, no matter the cost. And Blue seemed happy with everything. They got almost $900 in gifts! And Blue made me cry when they thanked me after we got to my place and we're trying to cool down. Told them I would do it then times over because they deserved it...every.bit.of.it. Guess I love that kid.

Really.

And right now I'm just pooped out and wanna do NOTHING but feel like I should be somewhat productive but I'm sorta overwhelmed. I did make out a new list of stuff for the wedding planning/prep, so maybe that will help.

So will knowing how we are going to get Dad here for the wedding -- if we are going to go all the way to Fargo or just meet him like around St Cloud so they don't have to drive thru the city. I told Dad this morning we need to get that decided by Monday so Steve and I can plan our stuff around the time needed to take care of getting Dad and Sandy here.

It's a bit surreal that the wedding is only a week away. I've been dreaming about the day for quite awhile now and I sorta of can't believe it's nearly here. No matter what, every second of all this planning will be completely worth it. The stress...the cost. I'm so thrilled to be Mrs Streeter and I just want to share it with everyone. I am still amazed how many people are planning on coming! I didn't know there were that many people who like me enough to want to come see me get married!!!

Really!!

[gottaescape13]

12 Days!

Happy Memorial Day

Yesterday Steve, Rachel and I went to Cannon Falls to check out a couple of antique stores. Good way to spend a drizzly day. Today's looks like it will be nicer out...planning on wearing for the grass to dry up just a bit before mowing it. Plans are to maybe make a fire in the backyard with all the fallen limbs and roast up hotdogs for supper with all the kids....well, Blue works til 8, so probably not Blue this time.

Tomorrow morning at 10, Blue and I are going to Como together for one last Mom/kid day before thier graduation on Friday. How the heck did that happen? I am so proud of the person Blue has grown into!

Think I really have most everything set for the wedding save what I will do just a few days before. So far, the weather looks promising. Hopefully this week my dress will be finished!

And hopefully we will get Steve's tires issues fixed. His car is currently sitting at Paramount. The other day I noticed his rear drivers side tire was down and the nozzle went right into the tire when he tried to add air. Figures it would happen on a long weekend. At least I have the $4000 grant so I'm not so worried about it. Not how I wanted to spend the money, but at least it was there.

Little things. It's always the little things.

Really.

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17 Days!

Eeek!

So much yet to do and I sorta don't know where to start. I suppose making up ANOTHER list wouldn't hurt. Somehow I'll get it all together by the 12th.

Dad is out of the hospital.abd in a rehab for now. He does sound better every time I talk to him. Keeping my fingers crossed he will be strong enough to come for the wedding, although I think we'd find a way to get him here if we need to go get him.

I got the $4000 grant from Dakota Cty. Right now I am just going to hold onto it for awhile and hopefully I won't have to dip into it too much so I will have enough to pay off the back sales taxes I have. If that doesn't happen, it's ok, but that would be nice to not have that to worry about so I can worry about past due FEDERAL taxes instead.

Never ends.

Really.

Blue has thier last HS Band concert last night and they are so e with classes. Friday there is this silly Senior parade in the morning. And then next Friday is Graduation! Blue and I decided to go to Como together on the first (Tuesday). I think that will be a great distraction/reward in this crazy time of year chaos.

Really.

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28 Days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I go back and forth between feeling good about how things are lined up and being anxious.

This next month should go very fast. With all the things going on with the kids school year ending, Blue graduating and the wedding, we will be busy.

Dad is in the hospital with fluid in his lungs and around his heart. They are doing tests to try and find out why it's happening. I'm glad he is where they can take care of him and I am trying not to worry too much. I just hope he is well enough to come for the wedding and walk me down the aisle.

We are going to help Tammy with putting in her dock at her place in Webster WI today. That should be.....interesting. But I feel it's the least we can do since she is letting us stay there for a few nights after the wedding.

Mask mandate has ended. Rachel has her first Covid shot next week. Things are starting to return to "normal". Pandemic isn't over, but at least we are better a year later.

Really.

[gottaescape13]

[gottaescape13]

37 Days

Steve and I got our marriage liscense from the Government Center yesterday! We are nearly official!

After going to the Govt Center we got some very yummy blended coffees at Froth and Cork. As we were leaving I though the shop would be an awesome place to have a wine hour the night before the wedding so I emailed them to see if that would be a possibility. Haven't heard back, but I hope that works out.

I also got the food ordered from Duffs! More progress!

Biggest deal was I got the stimulus money from Paul! We talked for awhile about the taxes too. I think we are going to try to get a CPA to look at our situation and see what is the best way to move forward. Paul offered to pay all the taxes if he could claim the kids after that for the next 8 years or whatever. I came back with maybe let me claim Blue so they get good financial aid. We'll see how it goes I guess.

But I feel much better a out everything today after two nights of not sleeping well over stressing about it. Hate that when I do it

Also brought Rachel to the doc yesterday since her Covid test was negative. We will see what blood tests show and go back to follow up with a doc in about a week.

Hopefully I am as productive today, but it's unlikely. The plan is to go visit Randy this morning and then I have appts with Dave and Cathy this afternoon. Dave said something about bringing me a brownie.

Hope it's the good kind

Really.

[gottaescape13]

43 Days

Crunch time? Maybe a bit...starting to get real anyway...like really real.

Really.

Feeling sorta broke too. Only have $500 in savings and I think we will need a minimum of $1000 to pay for everything we have left to pay for/purchase. $115 for marriage license, $300 for Duffs, $175 for cake, $150 for dress, $200+ for misc food like the soda, water and ice. Then I do want to make up some small gifts for friends helping and get Tami and Mike a GC for third help -- so maybe as much as $1200.

6 weeks of possible unemployment until then, so if I can manage to set aside $200 each week, we should manage. I think it is doable, but it sure would be easier if Paul just gave me my stimulus money.

Hate having to deal with him to get it. And having to deal with him about taxes. He is such a jackass about all of it.

Really.

It does look like I may be getting a $4000 grant for the small business pandemic response program. Thinking of paying off the sales taxes I owe. Won't have a while lot left cuz I think I still owe about 3 grand, but at least I'd be in the clear with that.

Not such a bad thing.

Keeping fingers crossed.

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52 Days

Guilty, Guilty, Guilty. Derrick Chovin was convicted on all.three counts (2nd degree murder, 3rf degree murder and 2nd degree manslaughter) of George Floyd. Sentence yet to be determined. But justice has been served.

But it isn't iver. There's a while lit of heading and a while lit of chance that has to be done. I just hope we can live up to it.

Business at the studio has picked up significantly this week. I hope I hold up. My hand has been hurting and I feel OLD and achy so much of the time.

Sigh.

Well, I ain't in spring chicken anymore.

It's helping me be ready successful at procrastinating doing the hard stuff, like taxes. But I can't put that off forever.

Better get moving..have a client at 10. Then I am supposed to meet up with Tammy for lunch and give her massage. Tomorrow is free, which means I should take care of so.e things in the morning and am planning on doing something with the kids in the afternoon.

It's a good thing.

Really.

[gottaescape13]

55 days!

Thanks to a streaming ad on Facebook Friday night, I got Steve scheduled for his first Covid shot on Tuesday morning.

We decided maybe that shredded pork and chicken from Duffs may be the best food options for the wedding so no one will have to stand and cook up the food. I can borrow a couple of electric roasters, we have a couple bottles of BBQ out and I think most people will be happy. Add in the potato salad, cole slaw, some chips and a cheese platter or two and some fresh fruit and we should be set. We also decided to just stick with sparkling juice -- no champagne.

Little by littl stuff comes together.

We took a nice walk with the dogs out at Spring Lake yesterday since the weather was so nice. It looks like today will be just as nice so I may drag Steve out somewhere for a bit again today...or even go by myself. Lone Nature Therapy is always a good thing.

Really.

[gottaescape13]

57 Days.

Can't stop thinking about wedding stuff. It's becoming a sort of obsession. I suppose at some point I may feel there is nothing left to plan for, then again, I may not.

I just decided what I want to play when my dad walks me down to give me away. The song from the Princess Bride, "A Storybook Story". It just fits the Happily Ever After theme I kinda have planned out..and it's sorta geeky, so I love it.

Maybe it's good I'm busy planning our wedding. Stuff with the cake, decorations, figuring out that we should have at least 80 people -- maybe as many as a 100! (That's pushing it, but figure we better plan for nearly that many). All the planning is keeping me from thinking too much about what is going on with the rest of the world. That's too depressing. The racism and hatred has never gotten any better in the last year, and it is all too apparent right mow. I've become so tired of how the TC is so much on the news for the unrest over racism with the police. The Derick Chovin trial is currently going on, with all the ugliness of the killing of George Floyd Is in the news every day. I really hope he goes away for all long time...And I'm afraid of what will happen if he isn't convicted.

Brooklyn Center had another incident last week. A female veteran cop with a good record killed a 20 year old black man during a traffic stop, supposedly mistaking her pistol for a taser. Protesting and riots have resulted. It's all so sad and scary. Don't know what all is going to come of it all, but my hopes aren't all that high. History has proven change doesn't come easily.

And the pandemic just goes on and on. New variants of Covid are out and causing new upsurges of cases. Our kids in Hastings had gone back to full time in school after Easter and it only lasted four days before it went back to hybrid because of too many sick kids. Rachel even got sent home cuz a kid in her classroom got it. She can't go back for 14 days and a clean Covid test, which we got this morning.

I got my second shot of the Pfizer vaccine Tuesday and have had zero side effects except maybe a slight headache. Steve is still having a hard time getting into somewhere for his, although I don't think he has been trying too hard either....think he got frustrated trying and not getting in and kind of gave up for awhile. I think we should be able to find something for him soon. At least I hope we do.

I should get up and work on paperwork for taxes and a few other things for the wedding and other misc items I need to get done. I had procrastinated over stuff for too long and I just can't much anymore.

Really.

Sigh.

And a shower sounds pretty good right now, so getting out of bed would be a good start.

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65 Days!

Wow.

That's about all I can say at this point.

Just wow.

So many little things to do.

So little motivation.

And I have business stuff to take care of if I have any hopes of getting that small business grant.

And taxes. Can't forget f***ing taxes.

And cleaning/organizing.

Yard work is coming soon.

And I just wanna lay in bed and fantasize....maybe nap.

It's been raining on and off for days, so that doesn't help my get up and go at all.

And I sorta feel overwhelmed.

Maybe it's List Time. That does seem to help a little.

Maybe tomorrow.

I have an appt at 4 so at least I'll get moving at some point for that.

Steve seems to be suffering from the same problem. Maybe once this rainy weather improves it would help if we took a walk with the dogs each morning.

Just got an appt at my studio for 11am Saturday. At least business seems to be slightly picking up.

Back to the grind. Which today is sitting in front of the tv, eating leftover Easter Eggs and a bagel with creme cheese.

Man, I need a more exciting life.

Really.

Well, maybe not. Boring is safe, right?

[gottaescape13]

A kaleidescope of memories

Flashes of vivid laughter

Window panes streaked by raindrops

Window pains of tears

Tears the fabric in my soul

Soles of my worn out dirty shoes

Battered by twists and turns

Pointed, rocky ground

Washed out gravels piles

That pull me under raging waters

Raging waters that

Calm and balm

Leave

Leaves of palm that waves a soft breeze

Cools just enough

So I pull out the tattered quilt of memories

Trace the lines

The broken threads

The tears

The tears

Of my soul

You piece me back together

Trace the pain back to the

Laughter and love

Lighten the dark paths

And mend

The patchwork kalediscope of memories

Into songs

I can sing

Without the tears

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[gottaescape13]

72 days!

Took the campus visit to BSU trip and got home last night about 9. It was a very good trip. Blue and I had a good time, talked about a lot of different things and enjoyed the lakes and pines. It was pretty darn cold and even snowed, but it's home.

I made an event page for the wedding on Facebook last week. So far we have about 36 people (with quests) saying they will come! Steve forwarded a link for it to Sam, so I guess he has finally been sorta told.

Part of me wants to write out details from the trip and last week and another part of me just wants to go downstairs and pee and have some coffee.

I think the latter is winning.

Really.

Maybe I'll add more detail later.

[gottaescape13]

79 days til I become Mrs Streeter!

So much left to do!

It appears we will be able to have food in the park for the wedding, so that is a definite positive.

I got my first Covid shot the day before yesterday. I got the Pfizer vaccine and my next shot is on the 13th of April. Blue and Steve have both signed up online but haven't gotten thier emails for it yet.

This past weekend we celebrated Steve's 60th birthday. Saturday was the actual day and we had Sam over as well as my kids. We made grilled shrimp and veggies with cilantro lime rice and a little tri-colored califlower and it was yummy. I had marinated half of the shrimp and veggies in caribbean jerk and the other half in lemon/herb. Both were mighty tasty, but it was a pain peeling and de-veining the shrimp. Worth it for a special meal, tho. I was surprised how well the George Foreman grill worked out. I do think we should get a real gas grill one of these days.

My kids left Saturday night after dinner and Steve, Sam and I played a game of monopoly before bed (Sam won. AGAIN!) Sunday I made scrambled eggs, sausage and toast and all the kids joined us. Then we went to Maplewood Mall for the Sustainable Safari place there. Me and my kids liked the parakeet room and Steve and Sam got to feed the capybaras. Overall, the place was cool but I think I sorta liked the one in Rosedale a bit better -- probably because of all the fish.

Steve said it was one of the best birthdays he has ever had. Mission accomplished!

The snow is all gone. In fact, the last two days it has been raining. Guess that means Spring has sprung. I'm ready for it....especially being able to spend more time outside and taking walks and hiking again. I think I've put on a few pounds from late night munchies and I want to get rid of it before the wedding.

I had put myself down to work in Woodbury today if they needed me but so far, nothing has been scheduled. Sorta wanting to NOT go in now even tho the money would be nice. It helps I got unemployment again this week when I wasn't sure if I would. Even tho we went out with Tammy for her birthday last night to Las Margaritas and I spend about $120, I'm still ok with finances. For now anyway. We'll see how it goes next week after the trip to Bemidji and what I get for my paycheck from Woodbury. I should be getting the big stimulus check here soon too, although that is earmarked almost all for the wedding.

Blue's car needs work again, but we brought it on to Murphy's since Tammy always has such good things to say about his work. We did really like him and felt he was very honest and he really explained and SHOWED both Blue and I the stuff with the car. Although it sucks paying out another $1300 or so to fix it Blue and I have agreed that it will probably be more worth it to fix the Saturn than put that same amount of money into a different car that they would have a payment for. The next year is just too uncertain yet and Murphy seemed to feel if we did these repairs we should get a good bit more out of the car. At least Blue is learning about some of the tough adult life stuff with all the car things we have had in the last year. Blue really is growing up and I am so damn proud of them. I really am looking forward to the time I will have with them next week on the trip up to Bemidji.

Really.