gouliam

[gouliam]

Rereading my tumblr posts from last year and 2 years ago made me realize how lucky I am now. Letting go of that person was really the best decision I’ve ever made, now I gained weight. Now I look better. And now I’m at my happiest ✨

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Half of my hometown by Kelsea Ballerini just really did hit me different now. It’s on repeat! @kelseaballerini #Halfofmyhometown

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I wish I could see the future. Also, anyone’s intention so that I could take good care of myself.

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Is my depression back? Or is it just a relapse from yesterdays stress? Maselco was an asshol** for having interruptions from evening to early in the morning which affected my sleeping hours. It’s already 4:30 in the morning and I still can’t fall asleep. Christian was also awake awhile ago, kinda stressed out from forex trading. I wish I could sleep already, I’m feeling a bit dizzy, maybe because of lack of sleep and my body really needs to take a rest since I went to the gym yesterday evening.

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Kapoy kapoy na ako

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I guess we are officially over, I don’t care. I don’t wanna be with someone who calls me “bobo” “stupid” “poor”. I realized that I don’t wanna experience to be shouted at again, I am a type of a person who goes mad but still calm and wouldn’t raise my voice. I am a type of a person who will always forgive you because of love. I am a type of a person who will act like a bulletproof just to forgive my person, but I am also a type of a person that when it’s over, it’s over.

[gouliam]

Hey. I got mad today at him because of the unread messages he kept on ignoring. I was chatting informing him I am already walking, going to their place, updating about something, paused my laundry just to go pick him up, yet he wasn’t reading my chats but had time to tweet something. Like what the fuck is wrong with him? If he’s like this, I will absolutely going to run. I don’t think I deserve this treatment, because he chats and I see it, i would automatically reply but why is it almost always one-sided. He’d better be serious and treat me nice or else, he’s gonna lose something he will regret. I carried his backpack but kept on ignoring him until I went home.

[gouliam]

I just know today that my supervisor resigned from her post as our Supervisor. We worked together for 5 years now and I never imagined her leaving, more likely, we never see this coming. So yeah, we will be with her til November 4th. Afterwards, it,s goodbye.

[gouliam]

Something’s weird about the person I am with. It’s been 4 days in a row when he said goodnight and everything, he used to react to my replies, and always read all my chats before turning off the phone, but 4 days in a row and what he always do was just seen my chats, not reacting to it, and mostly just don’t read the follow up chats I am sending and found out that he was active on Skype and idk what he was doing there. But if my imaginations right, I wish karma to do his job.

[gouliam]

I realized something today, that socmed accounts can help the user let go of the heavy emotions they feel, what I am trying to say is that, I am not just sharing this here all of my madness, but also something that scares me, or something that worries me. So, what I did today was apply for a graduate program at University of the Philippines Open University. I’m taking up Social Work, I almost did not catch it because the program was already reached its deadline. I was talking with the admin at the UPOU when he said, the deadline of submission for the program was last September 30, 2023. And I was 2 days late, so I let a sigh out of frustration and the other person in the line said that he was willing to help me as long as I have a student portal, which I have because I made an account before calling their contact number. I was very lucky knowing that the person on the other line opened the course just for me, and I did not waste my time but go for it. He has given me two days to settle down all my requirements but I did finish my application after almost 2 hours. And after I paid for a little fee (application fee), it says “For review”. I am a bit worried if they will let me in or not. But I hope they do.

[gouliam]

I made a tumblr account just to share my feelings and emotions. Because right now, I am so mad.