gracedsoldier-blog

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“That’s how hell works. I think.” Castiel guessed. “You remember all the bad but not the good. When I pulled you out I can’t say that would have been a good experience for you. It was messy... Kind of a nightmare having to deal with all those pissed off demons who didn’t want you to go..” He explained. “Forgetting may have saved you additional pain.” 

The angel relaxed into Deans embrace, hugging him back tightly and rocking him a little to try to calm him. “You didn’t fall in love with me again Dean. You never fell out of love, you just didn’t know.” He smiled. His heart raced when the Winchester kissed him. It had been so long since they last kissed, he almost forgot what Deans lips felt like against his. Castiel pushed forward so he was nearly on top of Dean, his lips not leaving his for even a moment. 

Angel radio began to become noisy, something was happening up on heaven and he was needed. He broke the kiss hesitantly and sighed. “I��m needed. I’ll be back. I promise.” 

[gracedsoldier-blog]

Send in sexy pictures to my submit box, and see how my muse reacts.

[gracedsoldier-blog]

“You seemed happy, I didn’t want to ruin things for you.” He explained further. “You are very perfect Dean, to me at least.” Castiel admitted with a small smile. “I can see right through to your soul and you may not believe it.. But you’re good.” He looked straight ahead once more.

“I know what a relationship is. It’s when you care deeply about someone else, you show them your affection and support them no matter what. It’s when you will do anything for that one persons happiness...” He paused for a moment. “It’s when you cannot stop smiling because you can finally call that one special person yours...” 

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Usually a side effect of implanting memories was headaches and occasional black outs. Having bring back certain memories to a human was the dangerous part. It can spark some serious PTSD depending on who it was and what memories were being shown. Castiel did his best to leave out the hell and the torturing as much as he could. 

“Do you see why I haven’t left heaven yet? Why I need to know what they’re planning? To keep Michael away from you.” He explained. “If I suddenly leave now, it would be obvious that I sinned and I can’t protect you when I’m dead.” He shook his head and knelt down on front of Dean, resting his hand against the hand mark he made when pulling Dean out. Cas had his own nightmares from being in hell but they were covered up with his unconditional love for the Winchester. 

“Love is a sin for Gods soldiers. We’re meant to fight and follow orders. Love is just a distraction, a sign of weakness. I broke one of the biggest rules they had. My brothers could never know. Not until this Michael and Lucifer thing is over with. Then I can remove my grace, become human and ward myself off from other angels.” 

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The moment Cas saw Dean again, he could tell the hunter was not in a good place right now. He knew he was worried and probably having the weight of the world on his shoulders as usual. The angel wished he could stop it. End all the pain Dean was going through but to do that would be impossible. 

“There was more to the cage than I had you believe. I didn’t want to tell-show you because I fear it will bring back more horrifying memories...” He explained and rested his hands on the side of Deans head, closing his eyes and trying to project his own memories into the Winchesters mind hoping to refresh him.

Castiel showed him how Dean looked from his point of view. A beautiful and pure soul and he showed him their first kiss in hell and a few highlights of their relationship while they were down there. The relationship was equivalent to three years but was only two weeks earth time. He showed him the first time they met, the good and the bad. When he finished, he removed his hands from Deans head and stepped back, a worried look on his face. Doing what he just did was dangerous but he needed Dean to know how much he cared. 

“I was hoping you would remember all this on your own. Now you see what length I’ll go to protect you.” 

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@ofinfiniteuniverses

“Michael.” The former angel stepped back nervously. Without his grace he was useless and could not defend himself against his brothers. “Dean said no, what are you doing here?” 

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Starter call!

Like this post for a starter from Human!Cas

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“I’m the one who gripped you tight

                     and raised you from perdition.”

                          Ind. Castiel. Selective. 18+

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“Not exactly watched... I see how you are with Sam and you don’t want me to mention Lisa. When you were with her I quietly paid you visits. You seemed happy, I didn’t want to intrude. So I didn’t make myself visible.” This was the first time he had ever told Dean this. He was still around during the year without Sam but he kept his identity quiet. 

“I envied her and getting to know you more over the years made me envy her even more.” He admitted. “I have tried looking for other people who I could have a relationship with, none of them were as perfect as you.” 

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Castiel was a little surprised that Dean didn’t freak out. The angel knew he tended to give too much information most of the time and Dean seemed relatively calm considering he just admitted to him that he wanted to have a relationship with him. Why not tell the truth? 

“Yes I’ve watched you and that’s what makes me want this. You are not a bad boyfriend Dean. You’re caring and loyal. Who wouldn’t want that?” He asked. “I would go anywhere with you. You know that.” 

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[gracedsoldier-blog]

The former angel remained quiet with Deans question. Of course that wasn’t what he wanted because he wanted more. “That’s not it Dean...” He spoke quietly. Cas hated being human, his emotions were very difficult to control and he was blushing like a complete idiot. “I don’t want to be friends who have sex. I want that thing humans call a relationship. If I were to have sex with you Dean, I would want you to be mine and no one elses.” He paused. “Theoretically speaking.”  

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The man went quiet after Dean explained what the real meaning was. Well that was awkward. If Castiel ever were to sleep with Dean, he wouldn’t want it to be no strings attached. He wanted the real deal. WIthout a word, Castiel turned away as his cheeks turned red from embarrassment. “I’m sorry.” 

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Cas couldn’t understand what was so wrong with it. Perhaps that was one of the things that had a double meaning, humans did seem to enjoy being complicated. “Explain it to me Dean because I don’t understand these human terms.” 

[gracedsoldier-blog]

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[gracedsoldier-blog]

The man turned towards the Winchester and gave him a weird look. “Why wouldn’t I Dean? You’re my friend and I care about you. I want to be of benefit to you.” He explained. “I know I let you down many times, but I want to change that. I just want you to be happy.”

[gracedsoldier-blog]

@sammysxbigxbrother

“Dean... What’s this thing called ‘Friends with Benefits’?” The former angel asked after seeing something online about it. “Is it kind of like us?... I would like to be your friend with benefits. I might be human but I think I can really benefit you in some way. Doing research.. Going along on hunts...”