gradje

[gradje]

Things we have confirmed about the Pope from his brothers:

1) he's bad at wordle

2) he's watched the movie conclave

3) his favorite game to play growing up was pretend mass where he would be the priest and make his brothers sit through it

4) he's a white Sox fan

5) his brothers favorite way to bully him was pushing him down the stairs

6) he prefers thin crust pizza over deep dish

[gradje]

[gradje]

While were on the topic im always oddly entertained when i see hardcore maga tumblr blogs. Like buddy are you lost? Do you need any help? You do know that this is the genders and pronouns website right? Its like those pictures of horses on like rooftops and balconies. How did you even get there?

[gradje]

If i wrote a novel where the us nosedived into fascism as the president of the united states was in cahoots with a megalomaniac tech ‘entrepreneur’ who openly sympathized with nazis and bought one of the biggest social platforms which was previously known for its progressive user base only to completely run it into the ground, in which that same united states president openly threatened the invasion of neighboring allied counties for fuck knows what reason, renamed the Gulf of Mexico to the gulf of america, posted an AI generated picture of himself as the pope, and built the golden calf from the biblical story where God said ‘guys don’t build a golden calf’, all while actively supporting a genocide in the holy land, I would be blacklisted from every major publishing house bc of how juvenile, far-fetched, corny, amateurish, silly, lacking depth, and on the nose the story would be. Like 1 star on goodreads this is what you get when you let a 13 year old write dystopian literature after only exposing him to twilight and hasan piker. Just real cartoonishly evil rubbing hands together and twisting ur mustache type shit. The man could shoot a toddler in broad daylight with ‘antichrist’ tattooed on his forehead atp and his band of trad larping goons would post an official statement which consisted of a blank page aside from ‘whoopsie x3’ from the notes app and a ukulele cover of the star spangled banner and it wouldn’t change a thing.

I feel like at some point I woke up in the most awkward and pathetic attempt at satire?? But here we are ig and ive been living in a sort of short-circuited dissociative haze just bc my brain cannot comprehend that the stupidity im seeing is not a garbage y/a ripoff of 1984, but the news. Every time i think ‘okay it cant possibly get any stupider than this’ it does. At this point trump could pass a law that would make 9/11 happen twice a month and id be like oh um okay i guess? Ive way passed the point of anger or disappointment or whatever other emotion im just in total absent confusion 24/7. Like how?? Why?? What ??? Is anyone else seeing this?? Am i hallucinating?? Is this real life?? Is this just fantasy?? Caught in a landslide?? No escape from reality??

[gradje]

Dude what the frick the actual pope literally reblogged my frickin post you guys i need to call my mom

Do u think he prefers deep dish or italian pizza

[gradje]

Uranium glass animal PNGs

(source)

[gradje]

Sunrise on Mars by NASA

[gradje]

Woah Mama, regulations are written in the blood of the working class

[gradje]

reading many tumblr folks comments on the new pope like,,,, with all the patience and care and love in my heart, are you new here? I dont want to sound like a bitch,,, but did you think these were like the us elections? You’re disappointed the pope is against gay marriage? You’re upset bc he may have involved with covering up abuse? Is this your first encounter with catholicism?

[gradje]

You guys couldn’t behave, now none of you are getting a pope that you like. Go and think about what you’ve done.

It kind of iconic that in the middle of cradle/convert beef and progressive pope/conservative pope debates, God just said ‘oh yeah? watch this’ and proceeded to piss everyone off by having an american be elected.

[gradje]

Its kind of iconic that in the middle of cradle/convert beef and progressive pope/conservative pope debates, God just said ‘oh yeah? watch this’ and proceeded to piss everyone off by having an american be elected.

[gradje]

in the club. straight up “habemusing it”. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. My papam

[gradje]

our father, who art in chicago,

[gradje]

anyway im going to order a luce plush asap now that i can get a papal blessing again <3

[gradje]

Do u think he prefers deep dish or italian pizza

[gradje]

The first day of easter i was watching the news and they were showing footage of pope francis. I told my mom dont take this the wrong way but i mean the guys almost 90, he can’t have much time left.

:/

Today i was watching the chimney with my mom and said i don’t really have much of an opinion about the next pope, as long as its not an american hahah

:/

[gradje]

Spent a lot of tine lately thinking about killing myself, but I’ll have to reconsider now that the new pope is chosen. Not in a ‘life is worth living’ way, but kind of due the realization that if choosing an am*ric*n as the new pope is in line the Big Guy’s plan, I’m really not prepared for whatever is going on in the afterlife.