grape-eating-vampire

[grape-eating-vampire]

there’s absolutely something to be said about ‘booktok’ books being largely wattpad quality written erotica i’m certainly not reading them however having seen a guy on tiktok make a video like ‘all the women in your life are READING PORN’ about a book he picked up and read in his FEMALE FRIEND’S HOUSE in a tone of scandalised horror and disgust i actually don’t think men should be making those criticisms. he said he picked it up expecting a romance and was horrified it was GOONER SHIT he said specifically like ‘who are you getting your pussy wet FOR??’ in a tone of revulsion. idk man im not sure shes the weird one. i kind of wish you were dead

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worst fear is that i write something from the heart and it gets mocked as #tumblrprose . second worst fear is big big big big ant colony conspiring to kill me to death

[grape-eating-vampire]

Potato Lord I am a big fan of your Picrew. I often have used it in the past to design the Muppets as if they were real human people. I wish Kermit could be a real person sometimes because I think he would have kind and soft eyes and he would hold me with his human muppet hands and tell me everything would be okay

got this back in March and never replied. but here we are because I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a celebrity. Godspeed. never send me things.

[grape-eating-vampire]

Why did they phrase this in the funniest way possible. Al Pacino’s horrible emotional support moustache to help him cope with his character’s bisexuality.

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i call this one “nobody likes you when youre 23”

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Shout out to Toya's random German on his clothes.

[grape-eating-vampire]

"to smithereens" is one of the worst things to be blown to. right up there with weezer

[grape-eating-vampire]

theres this maneuver people do online (& sometimes irl) where they just sort of pretend not to comprehend sexuality for the sake of trying to embarrass somebody--like whenever theres a post to the effect of "so i saw a funny thing on this gay porn website" there's inevitably a heap of comments like "why were you on a gay porn website 😭😭" as if it's like this really unusual uncommon & scandalous thing. like. it takes negative effort to deduce why somebody might be browsing a gay porn site lol. & in addition to being self-evidently reactionary, this like theatrics of mediating a performance of being scandalized over porn or fetishes or hookups or whatever through feigned ignorance is just. really deeply annoying. like if you want to call somebody a pervert degenerate etc then say it with your whole chest instead of verbally hoverhanding your insult

[grape-eating-vampire]

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

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What if Nintendogs but instead of Dogs you had pet trains

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Tower Records, Tacoma Washington, 1978

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[grape-eating-vampire]

i unironically think that the resurgence of mustache culture has brought about a male slut era that is in many ways still in its infancy but is growing day by day. hemlines are getting shorter, chest hair is growing back, tops are cropped. gone are the dark, dark days when the sluttiest thing a man could do was roll up the sleeves of his button up office shirt. we are returning to the light of mustache rides and teeny tiny swim shorts. amen.

[grape-eating-vampire]

Saying this right fucking now.

I don’t want to see ANY of you touching that fuckass new Harry Potter series.

That woman has set us back YEARS. YEARS. And whose money is she using to do it? People who continually support her and her sorry excuse for a book series.

If you simply must watch it? Pirate. It’s not hard.

Do not give her money. Do not give her a platform. Do not contribute. Please.

[grape-eating-vampire]

um

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