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[gravesrafael]

“You went through all of this… alone?” Sam asked, her voice small. In that moment, she didn’t really think about all the yelling they did in the garage. She didn’t think about the hurt she felt while they were apart. All she could feel in that moment was this strong urge to let Rafael know that he wasn’t alone in all his problems. That had always been what she felt like her default setting, her way of showing that she cared. Sam might not have the perfect words to say when faced with the people she cared about having problems, but she can reassure them that, no matter what, she was going to be there, which was why Sam found herself moving closer to Raf to wrap him up in a tight embrace. 

“I’m so sorry you had to deal with this by yourself,” Sam whispered, not wanting to let Raf go, wanting him to understand that even with how much the two of them had hurt each other, she was still here. She didn’t think that love for him would ever go away, and this problem was so much deeper than whatever relationship drama they had. Sam knew that, especially because she still couldn’t wrap her head around how his own father had done all this without her knowing. “I wish he told you himself too,” she murmured, letting out a deep sigh as she hesitantly pulled away from the hug. “Was it… good? The things he said in there?” Sam hesitantly asked. 

“what else was i supposed to do sam? i wanted to do this by myself” he asked, no malice in his voice. rafael knew that if he had asked her she would have been there. it still felt wrong to have someone else helping him with his parents things. it felt like something that he needed to do on his own. he knew that maybe he should have had her there. his reaction might have been different because all he had felt reading the words was anger. there had been so much anger as well as grief. he still hadn’t fully wrapped his mind around the fact that his parents were truly gone. there were still times he felt like they both were with him. maybe it didn’t make sense but that was how he felt. 

he nearly froze the second that she wrapped him up in her embrace. it took him a few moments to actually reach to put his own arms around her. it felt right to have her in his grasp and he cleared his throat,” you don’t owe me anything.” truly she didn’t considering how much he had hurt her. it seemed like it was something that he couldn’t avoid doing. he was sighing as he thought about how insane everything had been since he had been free. he allowed himself to take a step back,” that wasn’t in his nature.” that was a trait that he had gained from his old man. he was taking a breath and shrugging,” not at first,” he said slowly,” he was so pissed off at me for throwing my life away for the club and how i had left you and them.” he had been hit with so many emotions that he couldn’t fully process it,” i’m so fucking sorry samantha, for everything that i’ve put you through.” 

[gravesrafael]

we all have our demons, yes, but what if that’s all there is to me?

ii. questions of great tragedies (o.q)

[gravesrafael]

Clayton Cardenas por Steve Pineda

[gravesrafael]

          Twisting the cap of his own beer and stuffing it into his pocket, Ben quickly looked over his shoulder towards the group of people sharing stories, getting rowdier as more alcohol was downed. This was his family. Martin had been one of them and he had to be avenged, but for now… They’d drink. His eyes moved back to Rafael and he nodded, “A mess and a half” He agreed, sighing deeply. As Raf stared at him, Ben couldn’t keep his eyes on him but rather cast his gaze downwards, “I got back a few days ago” He spoke before finally being able to look up, “Had to get some shit in order before I could show my face around here. You and me, man…” He begun speaking, but took a small pause to take a breath and push his hand through his hair, “We’ve got some shit to talk about, I know. But before any of that…” He paused again, looking Raf straight in the eye this time, “I just want you to know how fuckin’ sorry I am” He’d never been good at apologies, and this one was no different although it meant more than any apology he’d ever given. Raf was his brother. Ben was well aware that he shouldn’t have let anything get between them in the first place, but now that it had, he felt a great desire to make things right. Not just because he was obligated to, but because he’d missed Raf while on the road, and even before right after he’d screwed things up. 

rafael had no idea how to process anything that had gone down since the masquerade. he was stunned by the fact that ben was back in town. mostly because he was not entirely sure he would see him again. the last time they had crossed path had ended badly. he was nodding in agreement and clearing his throat,” indeed.” he honestly had no idea how to feel about seeing his brother again. he was nodding slowly when he found out how long benji had been back in town,” shit to take care of? you see sam?” the second he asked he instantly wanted to take it back. honestly he really couldn’t help himself. he was going to take a swig of his beer in order to try to steady his nerves,” we really do.” he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk about it but he knew that they had to. they were brothers and they couldn’t just act like it hadn’t happened. he was clearing his throat,” i can’t say it’s forgiven but i’m working on it man.” he had missed ben but rafael was one to hold on his grudges to a point,” i shouldn’t have gone after you like that,” he admitted,” i’m sorry for how all that shit went down.” he was glancing around the crowded hall and glancing back at benjamin,”  you wanna step outside? i can barely think with all this shit going down.” everyone needed a distraction which meant that they were drinking heavily.  

[gravesrafael]

🌞 Mis rayitos del sol 🌞

[gravesrafael]

Tucker liked to think he was adjusting back into society rather well but that wasn’t the case at all, which could be seen by the bags under his eyes. He was back to living with his mom and his younger brother, in a house that should have felt like home but felt so foreign to him. He wasn’t really sleeping well, and he’d either drown himself in caffeine as soon as he woke up or forced himself to get out of bed to go for a jog during the crisp dawn, grateful to be in completely open spaces now. 

He and Rafael had gotten fairly close when they were forced to share the same cell when they were locked up, and even though Rafael was scheduled to get out months before Tucker, they had an understanding that they’d see each other again. To say that Tucker was grateful for the job that Rafael had helped him get was an understatement, which was why he walked towards the older man as soon as his shift is done. “Wanna head over to La Luna and go grab a drink with me? Just got my first paycheck and is it bad that the first thing I wanna do is go to the bar?” Tucker asked with a chuckle.

it would have been a lie for rafael to say that he hadn’t thought of tucker since his release. mostly because during his time being locked up he had kept to himself. due to the fact that they had shared a cell meant that they didn’t really have a choice but to get to know one another. he hadn’t been surprised when tucker was released and come around. he had been more than happy to offer the younger man a job. after all he knew what it was like to need to rebuild your life and get back on your feet. it was something that he was still doing. 

plus he knew that tucker was going to be a hard worker. rafael had been stuck going over some paperwork for most of the day. there had been one or two incidents that he needed to help take care of. other than that it had been a mostly uneventful day and he was relieved. everyone in town was still on edge but they were trying to get back to what was normal. the day had ended and everyone was getting ready to get the hell out of the garage. he was getting his keys when he realized tucker was approaching and he shrugged,” sure,” he said after a moment,” honestly it’s not but just don’t waste it all on booze.” he was going to shut the door to the office and shrugging on his  kutte,” how are things? you good being back with your familia?” 

[gravesrafael]

Sam had made a last minute not to get drunk tonight, at least until dinner because she did not want a repeat of last time where she burned her hand because she had been too drunk to pay attention to what she was holding while she was cooking. She was coming to regret that decision when she heard a very familiar voice when not expecting him to come over at all and had to double check if she was high out of her mind. At the sight of him again in the home that they had previously shared, all Sam wanted at that moment was another drink because seeing him there felt like a hard punch to the gut. He came over though. Again. That has to count for something, she thought, and she hated just how hopeful she felt. 

The shock was evident on her face as she listened to his words, adding in the fact that he came to actually open up to her just made that hope inside her burn that much stronger. “Raf…” Sam said, the pieces of the puzzle clicking then. She had defended Rafael multiple times from his father, both when Raf had been in and out of prison, so she feared the worst when it came to those letters. “May I?” She asked, gesturing towards one of the opened letters. “How… how are you feeling?” Sam asked quietly, her hand reaching out to rest on his arm in what she hoped was a comforting manner.

he was just praying that sam wasn’t drunk. he knew that she had been a mess considering everything. he couldn’t blame her for that but he just didn’t like seeing her in such a state. even if it was mostly because of him. he knew that the fact that she wasn’t on speaking terms with her sister probably didn’t help. he was just relieved that she hadn’t changed the locks and that was what led to him waiting for her to appear. he could tell that she was surprised to not just him but by what he was holding. the fact that he was opening up to her probably shocked her even more. after all anyone that knew him, knew that he was someone who kept things to himself. there were a select few people that he allowed to actually remain close with him. 

he was looking towards the shoe box that was jammed with all the letters. only to look up when he noticed the look on her face,” sam.” he knew that she was likely realizing why he had been acting the way that he was. his father was a bit of a touchy issue for him. he was sighing as she asked if she should take them. he was holding the box out to her and let out a deep breath,” like i wish the bastard was alive to tell me the shit that he wrote in these letters.” he knew that he shouldn’t speak that way but he sometimes couldn’t help himself. he was clearing his throat and glancing down,” i didn’t know how to even begin to process this or tell you.” 

[gravesrafael]

Marcus hadn’t expected to see Raf back tonight. After he left to find Sam he figured the other man would be with her the rest of the night. But he was glad that he had returned, there were people he needed around him right now and the other man was one of them. He could pick every one of his people out of a crowd and he could place where they were during the party, he couldn’t do the same for the wolves and it put him on edge. 

“Si I know.” Dark eyes looked over the wolves again, one of them had to have had a hand in Martin’s death. There was no one else with a motive, whatever theirs had been. Making things tense, kicking off a fight between the groups? Marcus didn’t know. “Los mataré yo mismo.” He looked away from the others and back to Raf. “I don’t know. Maybe trying to hit us where it hurts. Everyone knew him, he was one of my padre’s men. He’s been around forever.” Katrina he didn’t know much about at all. “Sam though? Is she good?” 

even if he wanted to just stay with sam, he knew he couldn’t. mostly because he knew that it was likely marcus would want everyone there. they would need to figure out how to move forward. it was the first time that raf remembered someone dare murder one of their own. especially since it was martin and he was one of marcus’ father’s men. that meant that someone was trying to hurt them and he knew it. it meant that someone wanted to make them fall apart but there was no way that it would happen. 

he was glancing towards the wolves before he looked back towards marcus. everyone was going to be one edge for weeks to come. he knew that it had to be one of them in order to do so. he was looking around and nodding,” i know you will.” he was still so confused that someone would dare do what they would. he was unsure what he should do and he was sighing,” well they fucking did a good job of it,” he said slowly,” we’ll make sure to give me a good send off.” he was nodding slowly, not surprised at the question,” sam is..drunk but she’s okay.” he was still trying to process the state that she had been in,” what about addie? is she okay?” 

[gravesrafael]

HONESTY HOUR & MEME DAY

Rafael Graves

Dahlia Wright

Lena Martinez

Abraham Wells

Celeste Maddox

Genesis Porter

Marianne Winston

Abel Danvers

Aspen Walker

You can send any of the memes from THIS, THIS or THIS to any of my muses!

[gravesrafael]

[gravesrafael]

          Sitting in one of the uncomfortable couches in the club house, Ben held a cigarette between two fingers, taking a drag every now and then, while he and some of the guys sat around reminiscing about their time with Martin; because despite having to figure out who murdered him in cold blood, the guys needed time to remember the good things too. When getting up from the worn couch to get himself a drink by the bar, his eyes caught movement by the entrance. Flicking his gaze over towards it, Ben stopped in his tracks when his eyes caught Rafael’s. The two hadn’t seen each other since before Ben had left on a bad note, still needing to talk things through and resolve things. Fetching two bottles of beer from the bar, he then let his feet carry him towards the other, nodding as a greeting, “’Sup man?” He spoke, handing one of the beers towards his brother, testing the waters but being well aware they still had things to resolve, but not wanting to jump right in. 

all rafael wanted to do was be with his brothers and sisters. things had gone from bad to worse in a matter of days. martin being killed had broken something in him. martin had been a pillar for the club, someone that could be relied on. hell, martin had visited him when he had been locked up. he was relieved to be stepping into the clubhouse, he was thinking of going to grab himself a beer. at least till his head turned and he nearly froze. only because he had spotted ben who he hadn’t even realized was back in town. of course ben had left town and things between them weren’t the best. his eye brow arched up as his old friend approached and he reached to take the beer,” shit’s a mess,” he said slowly before popping the cap off the bottle. he went to take a swig and stared at ben for a moment,” when did you get back?” he honestly didn’t know if things were ever going to fully be okay between them again. yet there was no denying that he had missed his brother. 

[gravesrafael]

Location: Samantha’s Home

With: Samantha Martinez

@samanthafm​

rafael was unable to process what it was that he was about to do. part of him still felt like he might just be making a mistake. however he was not going to turn back when he knew it was the right thing. he was going to place his helmet on the handle bar of his bike. he glanced around before going to pull the shoe box out of the storage that was beneath the seat. he was going to tuck the box beneath his arm before making his way up the front path. he opted to use the key that he still had inside of knocking. maybe that was the wrong move but he didn’t care. he was clearing his throat and peering inside,” samantha?” he knew that she was home but he had no idea how she would react to him being there. he was shifting the box in his grasp and looking towards her the moment she appeared,” i have to show you something,” he said slowly,” the thing that has been bothering me? i found these.” he pulled the lid from the box to show all the letters, most of which had been opened. he hadn’t read all of them because he wasn’t sure how he would react if he did,” my father,” he said slowly,” wrote me letters for all those years but never sent them.” 

[gravesrafael]

“Speaking of fucking insane,” Cliff suddenly said, knowing he was the one who opened up the topic about Martin but was now incredibly eager to shift from it, from all these talks of death and sadness when none of them could really do anything about it. “What the fuck happened that night, huh? Look, if you’re gonna do something with a sweetbutt, the least you could is try not to get caught,” he said, showing Raf a pointed look. He was one to talk, that was for sure, since he was the one who had been caught cheating on his wife all those years ago, but still, a part of Cliff wanted to give Raf some shit after how hard he went at Cliff when he and Lena hadn’t even done anything yet. “I don’t envy you, brother. You got the crazier Martinez girl.”

a small sigh escaped since rafael already knew what was coming. he was rolling his eyes as he thought about how horrible that night had been,” i have no fucking idea what i was thinking,” he admitted,” shit had me fucked in the head, i wouldn’t have let that puta put her hands on me.” if there was one thing anyone could say about him it was that he was loyal. sometimes he was loyal to a fault. he was going to take a swig of his beer before glancing back at cliff,” no shit i have the crazier martinez girl but lena sure is giving her a run for her money,” he told him with a pointed look,” you still talking to her?” honestly he just wanted to think of anything but his fucked up love life. 

[gravesrafael]

“Oh, hey, Rafael,” Adelita said, smiling warmly once she realized he was in one of the booths. “Nice to see you again,” she murmured, remembering how the last time she had seen him, it was right before the entire town had to see the corpse of not just one, but two of their fellow townspeople. After the town shooting, that wasn’t a sight Adelita had wanted to see, and seeing the toll it had on Marcus was just the cherry on top of a ridiculously stressful week. “You mind if I sit? I’m just waiting for Faith’s order before I head on back,” she said, gesturing towards the seat in front of him since the seats near the counter were all taken up. “How have things been?”

rafael was in the mood for something greasy. that meant going to one place and that place being hale’s diner. he had claimed a booth for himself and had been attempting to read the newspaper. his head lifting when he heard adelita’s voice,” hey.” he instantly thought about how the last time they had talked was before martin was discovered. he had taken off without thinking in order to make sure that sam was alright,” it’s nice to see you too.” he motioned for her to sit the second she asked,” i don’t mind at all,” he told her with a shrug,” things are, uh, to put it plainly, a damn disaster but it’ll work out.” at least that was what rafael hoped but he had no idea actually,” what about you? you and the princesa doing okay?” 

[gravesrafael]

“This is some fucking bullshit, man,” Cliff said with a shake of his head. He didn’t even care who he was talking to because it was really starting to hit him now that Martin was dead. One of his closest friends for as long as he could remember, just gone, just like that. Cliff had never really been one to feed into the rivalry – could be because he was regular at Mayhem Maidens and was definitely a fan of their work – but he didn’t really know what to think about the Wolves right now. He didn’t know if he could blame them, or hate them, but he was now starting to, just because he couldn’t find anybody else to pin it on. “What do you think about it?”

rafael felt the need to actually go out. that was why he was at la luna instead of drinking himself into oblivion in his home. he wasn’t surprised when he saw cliff there. he was sighing as he heard what cliff was uttering. the loss of martin was shaking up everyone. everything was tense and he knew it. he was relieved the moment that one of the bar tenders handed him a beer. he was going to take a swig before clearing his throat,” mi hermano,” he mumbled,” it’s fucking insane and we all know it.” he still couldn’t fully process that martin was gone,” shit’s fucked and i’ve never-i didn’t ever think this could fucking happen, not to him.” 

[gravesrafael]

@samanthafm

[gravesrafael]

“Someone tell me how the fuck this happened.” He spoke through gritted teeth, he was trying to be calm about this but one of their men was dead and now one of Fran’s fucking lackies was dead. Keeping away from the rest of the party his fist was clenched as he stared at the table in front of him, he could feel the eyes on him, on his people. The weight of the gun tucked against his back was never heavier than it was right now. Martin had been one of his fathers men, one of the most trusted in the MC, in the world for Marcus. And now he was dead and no one had any answers. 

“If someone made a fucking move without telling me they’re getting a bullet to the head. Estás pero si bien pendejo!.” Slamming his fist against the table he looked over at the wolves who were now standing on the other side of the room. “Tell me what you know.” @charmingstarter​

rafael was still practically reeling due to what had gone down. mostly because no one ever imagined it would happen. martin was dead and he had been one of the old timers. he had heard about one of the wolves. that had been after he had come back from going to check on sam. even if he hadn’t wanted to, he had to go back. he knew that there was a chance that shit was going to go down. he was biting on his lip since he knew that emotions were going to be running high on both sides. not that he gave a shit about the wolves or their loss. all he was thinking about was the fact that one of their own was dead. 

“marcus,” he said slowly, his voice low,” no one here is stupid enough to make a damn move without going to you.” at least that was what he assumed but he had been gone for ten years,”  quien hizo esto va a pagar.” he could feel eyes on him but his focus was purely on marcus,” this doesn’t make sense.” who would target martin or even fucking katrina?