gravistales - Tumblr blog

[gravistales]

Niggas will spend $300 on a Gucci belt and still sag their pants

[gravistales]

“But you don’t act black that tho…”

What?

A man can’t tell a girl how to be a woman.

I can’t tell my dog, she isn’t acting like a dog.

And no one can tell a duck, they aren’t quacking like a duck.

So why do you feel entitled tell me I don’t act like what I am?

Because I speak educated? Is your idea of a black man a fool who talks like an idiot? Because that what your saying

Maybe you should stop grouping people together because how they look, and realize that every single person this planet is an individual

Because at the end of the day I’m going to always identify myself as black and will always act like GravisTales.

-A Free Thinking Black man

[gravistales]

I love my Pitbull. We didn’t grow up together, We don’t speak the same language, She doesn’t even know my name. Last year we were perfect strangers, regardless....she never ever bites down on my hand when I have to pick old Chewing gum out her mouth.

-That’s love.

[gravistales]

I really wish they would stop calling cereal boxes "Family Size" Because when I smash on this whole box of cereal by myself, Imma feel like a fatass for eating enough food to feed a family I am a monster "The Cereal Killer" -Gravis Tales

[gravistales]

So yesterday I jumped into the nostalgia ship and revisited one of the greatest events of childhood.

Nowadays I don’t really have the time to tune in 5 times a week to watch the live-action soap opera that is Professional Wrestling, but last nights Royal Rumble took me into bliss of better times.

No Bills No Work No responsibilities No worries Back when Hakuna Matata meant something.

I was in a state of bliss during last nights Royal Rumble regardless of the controversy

[gravistales]

Pharrell you ol Dudley Do Right lookin ass nigga

-This nigga Pharrell prolly spent a 1,000 dollars off of a hat he could’ve found in the dumpster.

-Magician pull rabbits out their hats, Pharrell look like he’s got a baby owl under there.

-Old Pecos Bill lookin mufucker

-Old lookin for a saddle to match my hat lookin ass nigga

-Old I made my hat out of a brown paper bag make believe ass nigga

[gravistales]

What You Should Be Watching on NetFlix.

Every comedian interview I ever heard has credited this show as inspiration. Usually when see things getting a lot of hype I’m very hesitant about watching it.

Last week I finally gave into the peer pressure and checked out The Notorious Eddie Murpy “Raw” and hoooooly crap! It has now hit my number one in favorite stand-up shows. My only regret is missing out on all those laughs

[gravistales]

Dollar Tree, Shopping Spree

On paydays I like to stroll through the dollar tree and daydream about all the unnecessary shit I can buy.

"Yes, m’am I’ll have one of everything!"

[gravistales]

I Can Throw it Down in The Kitchen

Yo, I hate how pretentious some people get about their cooking skills.

Like I can't google every recipe you know plus 100 more. Stop it fam, you aint ordinary.

I'll admit baking is a little tricky for me and some dishes are truly difficult for the average homie, but don't be flexing on instagram when all you making is Spaghetti and Meatballs.

[gravistales]

When I saw it, I wasnt mind-fucked, but my brain was definitely touched in-appropriately  

No context

[gravistales]

I  am  the Worlds Greatest Rap Video Extra

Shout out to the Sith Clan for shooting a dope ass video (filmed at Gamesturz) and granting your homie a walk on role. Now that I have been initiated in the music video business I am now accepting offers for all media. If you need a guy to stand in the backgroud, nod his head, snap his fingers, or throw up the gang signs in slo-motion while mean mugging  the camera...Holla at ya boy!

[gravistales]

Gym Flow like its 1995!

Went to gym today and forgot my headphones and walked right out. Its crazy how much this iphone is dictating my life. I gotta start living life like the average brother in the '90s.

You think a '90s nigga is canceling a gym sessions because he can't listen to his music? Hell nah, because cant nobody workout with that fat ass CD player in they pocket while doing squats. (Changing CDs in between sets in shit, That aint practical)

Nope a 90's nigga is listening to whatever is on the Ghetto Blaster (BOOMBOX!) He doing concentrated curls to Paula Abdul with zero fucks given.

Kids these days wont even start they routine until Pandora cycles to song they like.

I gotta get on the 90's mindset before I turn soft!

Iphones making life to easy

[gravistales]

I'am going transpose my mind on to Tumblr, no filters.

[gravistales]