Text
whole pussy out
dirt in my mouth
sing a lil ditty when i stroll down south
bone removal
without approval
i found your name and address on the google
133K notes
·
View notes
Video
21K notes
·
View notes
Text
what it feels like to go to the bathroom right when you wake up

56K notes
·
View notes
Text
Gary’s Sex Tips #1002
If she calls out her ex boyfriend’s name in bed go to his house and kiss him. See what the dick about! See what all the fuss is about!
271K notes
·
View notes
Text
Anyone: *stands behind me while I’m on my phone*
Me:
609K notes
·
View notes
Text
no offense but I’ve never gotten over anything that’s happened to me in my life
594K notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about when my brother got chatbanned from overwatch and the email they sent him after he tried to appeal it said “we dont normally bring up the incriminating messages, but in this case we feel its necessary to show you what got you banned” and it was all shit like “ i will kidnap you in the desert and make you forget how to eat”
166K notes
·
View notes
Text
hey guys I’m so mad that three-year-olds don’t understand irony bc literally two of my students were fighting over a book titled “Why Should I Share?” today
177K notes
·
View notes
Text
me: *walking*
my cat: i am going to run in front of you. i am going to sprint in front of you so fast mid step and you are going to punt me into the sun
me: okay sir yes sir
243K notes
·
View notes