grayspaceace-blog

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me, a semi-reasonable person: hm! i dont fully understand this identity or experience that this person is describing. this is probably because i dont experience this thing! that doesnt mean its not real! i will continue to respect this person because we r all different & maybe i will try to look up more info on this thing!

some of yall demons: hm! i dont fully understand this identity or experience that this person is describing. that must be because theyre trying to be special & im gonna turn it into a joke before i even bother to ask somebody to explain because my thoughts & experiences must be the only ones that are valid

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Since telling my Mum that I considered myself ace, I already noticed that she was a bit… too interested, if you want to say it like that. Asking for “signs”, or how being ace feels like… I tried to answer her to the best of my ability, giving her links to websites that would explain better as I ever could.

Today she said, very quietly, “Do you think I could be ace, too?”

And I said very carefully “If you think it suits you, I don’t see why not”

And my Mum, my strong, self-confident Mum, who never once  has ever felt uncomfortable in her own skin as far as I know, beamed in relief. Relief. 

 Because she never knew. Because getting married young and bearing children for her husband (meaning sex) was expected of her. Because everyone gave her the feeling as if something would be wrong or broken about her if she didn’t want, didn’t do that.

Because her whole life long, she thought there was something wrong with her.

I’m honestly torn between feeling happy and relieved for her, and angry that humanity has such trouble with showing some understanding to those who don’t fit in the boxes society has designed for all of us.

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if you are ever worried that you won’t find a fulfilling relationship because of your ace or aro orientation, fret not.

my partner and I have been in a very happy, committed, wholesome relationship for well over a year now.

they’re ace panromantic and i’m aro pansexual. you can be in a healthy and happy relationship with someone who is allo if you’re a-spec. we’re living proof

[grayspaceace-blog]

My Asexual Love

I love people like I love dogs. They can be amazing and make me laugh, and I want to cuddle them and let them know how amazing I think they are. However, the moment they try to hump my leg is the moment I shove them off the couch.

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Hilarious🥀👐

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I hope that every gray-ace person has a lovely day today!

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depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

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i wanna be rich so i can binge on cute gifts for everyone who’s ever been nice to me :/

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gen z humor: im kin with your pants

millenial humor: im depressed reblog if you are also depressed haha

gen x humor: cat videos

baby boomer humor: that picture of the minions from despicable me but it says “exersize? I thought you said extra fries”

[grayspaceace-blog]

Rape Escape

Easy and very effective

Requires nothing but your body

Includes attack

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I just scrolled through the ace discourse tag for thirty minutes and I’m so tired. Just… just let me spell it out here.

If you are attracted sexually and romantically to women if you are a man, and men if you are a woman, you are straight. If you identify with the gender you were assigned at birth, you are cis. 

If any of these things don’t apply to you, you are LGBTQ+. Period.

Asexual people are not sexually attracted to anyone. Aromantic people are not romantically attracted to anyone. Therefore, even if an aromantic person identifies as heterosexual and an asexual person identifies as heteroromantic, they are still not straight and are part of the community. End of story. 

And it’s not some pissing contest about who is more oppressed. Different parts of the community face different types of discrimination and oppression. LGBTQ+ people band together because we are different from society’s norm. Why the fuck are we squabbling among ourselves about who’s different now?

If you are a Self-Confessed Tumblr Aphobe: Congratulations! You’ve succeeded in being a dick over the internet to somebody about their sexuality/romantic orientation! Are you proud? Do you feel good inside? Have you validated yourself via shitting on other people? 

Well, in the real world and in IRL LGBTQ+ spaces, your opinions are just as stupid, wrong and unnecessary as they are online, only you don’t have a computer to hide behind and can tell aro and ace people just how much you hate them to their faces and see where it gets you!

tl;dr, aro and ace people are LGBTQ+, the entire ‘ace discourse’ is fucking idiotic, and if you are an aphobe you need to fucking stop. This community is a place where any LGBTQ+ people can be supported and validated, and if that doesn’t appeal to you, you can go make your own much smaller, shittier community full of assholes and gatekeepers.

Reblog to piss off an aphobe and make an ace person feel valid and safe in their own community.

[grayspaceace-blog]

sometimes I feel like being heteroromantic invalidates me being ace-spec, even though I know it doesn't/shouldn't. but it still sometimes makes me feel like I don't belong in the ace community or the lgbt+/queer (if I'm allowed to use that?) community at large. like I'm not straight but I am? AM I still straight if I'm heteroromantic? idk. I just kinda feel out of place no matter what, and the fact that I'm not sure where exactly I fall on the ace spectrum doesn't help either

Hey Anon,

I am so sorry.

You stay strong. Being heteromantic does not in any way invalidate you being acespec. I promise. Your romantic orientation is completely separate from your sexual orientation. Whether they match like being heteromantic and heterosexual or they don’t match like being heteromantic and asexual they are two different things in relation to two very different attractions. Your romantic orientation can never invalidate or take away from your sexual orientation.

I understand your worry, frustration, and confusion, but you are not straight; especially if you don’t want to identify that way, don’t feel it works for you, or are uncomfortable with it. Straight is what people refer to when they are heterosexual. You are not heterosexual. You are acespec, therefore, you are not straight. They are different things. 

I know that it’s hard and sometimes it hurts and you feel invalidated and alone, but I promise if your sexual orientation is acespec then you belong in the Ace Community. You are a part of the Ace Community. Your romantic orientation does not matter. The Ace Community is filled with people who all have very different romantic orientations. Regardless of who they are romantically or no romantically attracted too, their sexual orientation is still ace. This makes them valid and accept in the Ace Community. 

It’s okay if you know your heteromantic, but are still questioning your sexual orientation, but feel you are acespec. This is totally fine. And their is nothing wrong with identifying with the LGBT+/Queer Community until you have found your orientation. It’s okay to be a part of the LGBT+/Queer Community to find people that will help and guide you on your journey. I identified and was a part of the LGBT+/Queer Community until I found asexuality and the ace spectrum. Without them, I would have never found it. And I still consider myself to be a part of both those communities. 

Don’t stress or worry too much about all the hate, negativity, and discourse you see online; because that’s mostly where it is, online. I know that each community needs it’s own work. I know that even fellow Aces can be mean, nasty, and completely disrespectful towards other Aces. It’s sad, hard, and hurtful, but you see most of this online. The loud minority does not get to dictate how Communities as a whole feel nor do they have any right to tell you how you are supposed to feel and where you belong. The Ace, LGBT+, and Queer Community have been very accepting and welcoming of Aces. There are people in the Ace Community who support and respect heteromantic aces. 

I deeply apologize if any actions form the Ace, LGBT+, and Queer Communities have made you feel invalidated, alone, and hurt. It upsets me so much to see other people hurting each other; especially when other Aces attack other Aces. I’m so terribly sorry that in safe places meant for people who are questioning their sexualities and looking for a place where others can relate and understand you that you felt you were not welcome. If you don’t feel safe within any of these Communities, then you have every right not to participate in them. You have every right not to want to be associated with them.

You are valid, Anon! You hang in there. I’m so sorry that you feel this way; I do hope things get better. It’s okay to be heteromantic and acespec. It’s okay to identify with the Ace Community because of this. It’s okay to consider yourself ace. If you are acespec then you are a part of the Ace Community. It’s okay to heteromantic and acespec and be a part of the LGBT+/Queer Community. I know that the Communities have a lot of work to do and I am sorry. Just remember that the most of the negativity you see is online. There are people in the Ace, LGBT+, and Queer Community that are here for you, support you, believe in you, and accept you. You are valid. Your identity is valid. I hope in time things will change. I wish you the best as you continue your journey on finding out your orientations. If you ever need anything, ever need to talk/vent, have any questions, or need any help feel free to message me anytime. I am here for you. I support you. I will listen. You belong here.