greatanddeliciousbread

[greatanddeliciousbread]

*sees two women interacting for five seconds in a show*: c’mooooon lesbians *shaking dice in fist* mama needs a new pair of lesbians

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yup i caramelized some onions last night. basically you fucking wish you were me right now *a massive demon centipede bursts through the wall* oh fuck! *i produce my holy lightning tommy gun and riddle that sucker with a hail of thunderous bullets* fuck!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!

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ponderous guy whose pronouns are huh/hmm

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Pre-Columbian figures.

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what the hell even is a webp image. i dont care fuck why cant you play nice and just be a png. asshole image

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Hey gang for those of you waiting for my return just letting you know that running the muppet joker account has put a very real strain on my real life marriage and I have decided to step away from the blog for the foreseeable future.

I have been talking to her and everone else in my personal life "in character" as the muppet joker so that my blog would be as true to life as possible. I have been wearing Joker makeup around the house, which at first she found funny, but now she can't even look at me. I started compulsively fantasizing about the muppets and it's ruining our sex life. I accidentally called her Kermit in the bedroom and she made me sleep on the couch for a week.

Our son turned one year old this year on July 5th, on the day of Dashcon 2. My wife begged and pleaded with me to stay home and celebrate his birthday, but I was stupid and selfish and had become completely taken over by the muppet joker persona at that point. I went. I returned home to an ultimatum. Its my family, or it's the muppet joker. I chose my family.

Sorry tumblr. I have failed you. I have failed my wife. I have failed my son. I have to go now, to be with them, and to watch my child grow up.

Goodbye, Homosapiens

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Can you believe it? This thing 👇 just told a lie.

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Karlach pit fighter

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why do the words caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing. Shouldn't they be rival jobs that undo each others progress

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Baby Arwen and her mama :)

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