Text
Proven Guilty
Green: OK, in the past few chapters, there has been exposition on both mind magic and time magic
Green: which, when Harry was explaining mind magic, l was like "OK, looks like this is going to be the book in which the bad guys use mind magic"
Green: but then Bob started talking about time magic so now it's like which one's it going to be?
Orange: exposition is my fave position
Green: l mean, probably something else
Orange: ahahaha
Green: it's probably going to be using themes from the discussion on mind magic, which is that some types of magic turn you evil
Orange: i think it's either a setup for this book or the next or like
Green: my guess is there's going to be someone who is like, halfway there
Orange: there's setups several books in advance sometimes
Green: yeah
Orange: sometimes there's been setups the whole time
Orange: and you only learn it when all the dominoes crash down in one book
Orange: and they crash on our boy, harry
Orange: like they were calculated to do so by a malevolent god
Green: Bob's like "if a paradox happens in a weak enough spot, the entire world could be destroyed"
Orange: because they were
Green: and l'm like "l smell a sideplot 10 books from now"
Orange: book theory: butcher is a supernatural entity in his own series
Orange: he's the bad guy behind it all, specifically focusing on making harry suffer as much as possible without actually killing him
Orange: stringing him along with hope so he doesn't go full breakdown and become a hobo
Orange: a cruel and vicious god
Green: hahaha
Green: here is my prediction
Green: harry is going to bang michael's daughter
Green: (not serious)
Green: oh she's 17
Green: even less serious now
Green: l was just thinking, "what's something that would make Harry want to avoid Michael even more?"
Orange: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Orange: wait
Orange: mind magic
Orange: so are you on book 8
Orange: is the daughter somehow mixed up in shenanigans
Green: yeah I'm on book 8
Orange: hohohooo
Green: she had him bail her bf (who works at splattercon) out of jail
Orange: i remember some of this one
Orange: yeah
Orange: splattercon
Orange: the best
Orange: good stuff here
Green: also all of Michael's kids are incredibly cute
Orange: what kind of father would michael be if he didn't raise very solid great children
Orange: who then have freaking
Orange: GOTH EMO PHASE
Orange: as you do
Orange: as i did
Green: this is my favorite thing in the universe
"Don't call me Leech," she said in the patient tone of someone who has said something a million times and plans on saying it a million times more. "Hello, sir," she told me. "Alicia," I said, nodding. Evidently the use of her actual name constituted a gesture of partnership. She gave me a somewhat relieved and conspiratorial smile.
Green: like, she calls him sir? She really appreciates him using her proper name?
Green: that's cute
Orange: nothing but the best from michael
Orange: nothing but the best
Orange: his wife too
Green: and he just gives her the name greeting
Orange: yes he does that
Orange: it's so weird
Orange: when he's uncomfortable he freaking lets his mouth run wild
Orange: when he's okay, he can do the cool sorta minimal wordage stuff
Green: yeah!
Green: with Matthew he doesn't even say hi he just nods
Orange: yeah
Orange: uncle dresden
Orange: ahahaha
Orange: uncle harry the hairy uncle
Orange: man getting my nieces and nephews to use 'uncle' before using my name is a constant struggle for their parents
Green: also Amanda calls him Bill because they already have a Harry
Orange: waehehehe
Orange: i forgot they have a harry
Orange: why not tom, they can call him tom and have another kid and he can be Richard
Orange: and then you have tom dick and harry
Green: geeze
Green: black magic is always the fucked up stuff huh
Green: oh hey it's maeve!!!
Green: l remember her
Green: she walks in and this isthe first thing she says
Maeve stared at me for a long minute and licked her lips. "Look at you," she all but purred. "All pent up like that. You haven't had a woman in ages, have you?"
Green: also l like her outfit
Green: l know l said l don't like reading descriptions, but outfits are a huge exception
Green: highlights include rainbow-colored hair, blue cut-off jorts, and a t-shirt that says "YOUR BOYFRIEND WANTS ME"
Green: chad
Green:
Maeve waited for her lemonade, wrapped her lips idly around the straw, and sipped. Then she settled back into her seat, chewing. Crunching sounds came from her mouth. The lemonade had frozen solid when it passed her lips. Which made me feel pretty damned smart for avoiding the whole sexual temptation issue.
Green:
"The good guys win!" Bob cheered. "Or at least you do. You're still a good guy, right? You know how confusing the whole good-evil concept is for me."
Green: looks like white court vampires' eyes turn silver when they vamp out
Green: also so far Harry's fought Jason, a Xenomorph, and…a scarecrow? I want to say it's Jack Skellington
Green: heyyy it was mind magic all along!
Green: btw I hope to god that the fairies who clean his house become important at some point
Green: they were a huge plot point in Pale and that was so much fun
Orange: Ehehehee
Green: Btw l love that the security guard sees harry and giving him the once over is like "hmm...big bearded man with a giant dog, wearing a huge coat, looks pretty messed up, looks like he's packing heat- oh he has a splattercon badge this checks out
Green: "
Orange: hahhahahahahaha
Orange: i forget who the scarecrow is
Orange: but you got the xenomorph and jason i think
Green: They just fought a couple rabid animals from a movie I've never heard of, and also "Bucky the Doll"
Orange: there's gotta be some spooki scarecrow out there
Green: Who's clearly supposed to be Chucky
Orange: yes
Green: So yeah the unknown ones are the Scarecrow (who l'm pretty sure is Jack Skellington?), the rabid animals, and the Hammerman
Orange: well like
Orange: it's gotta be horror movie stuff
Orange: horror/thriller
Green: Jack Skellington is scary in-universe though
Green: His whole thing is scaring people
Orange: yeah but i'm assuming these appearances are something to do with the actual fear existing in people right
Orange: phobophage, was it called?
Green: Yeah...
Orange: you know
Orange: i bet someone's already found out what these references are
Green: Yeah
Green: Oh l looked up "horror movie pumpkin head" and it might be Pumpkinhead from Pumpkinhead
Orange: hmm
Orange: i just looked at a picture of Pumpkinhead from Pumpkinhead and i don't see no pump nor kin on any head
Orange: there's a scarecrow in jeepers creepers
Orange: but no pumpkin
Orange: maybe he didn't wanna have too many references because the publisher/editor kept shooting down ideas
Green: Hm also now that l'm thinking about it, the Reaper might be the guy from Scream, rather than Jason
Green: l didnt read the description that closely
Orange: hmmmm
Green: He just soul gazed molly and hot dang am I excited to see more stories involving her
Orange: HAHAHAHA
Orange: MOLLS
Orange: you may or may not have your wish granted
Green: And her thing is she's really good at mind magic
Orange: yes
Green: That's going to be real fun
Orange: she has T-A-L-E-N-T
Orange: while harry, no offense
Green: Lot of potential for "oh shit I messed up big time" plots
Orange: not exactly the most talented magician
Orange: he's got power sure
Green: Yeah yeah
Orange: but like you can have all the muscle without knowing how to tie your shoes
Green: When he messes up big time it's just political stuff or collateral damage
Orange: i stg the magic meta could have so many broken strats in it if people like harry start minmaxing
Orange: they got all the time to train!
Green: But l bet when Molly messes up it's big and tangled and messy
Orange: well see it's tangled because molly, unlike harry, knows how to tie shoes
Green: Lol true
Orange: (jk i'm sure harry knows how to tie his shoes! And he learned at the very young age of 25!)
Orange: yeah well the whole wizard community seems to be pretty black and white (heh) about the whole following Da Rules thing
Orange: and they already hate harry so if harry's associated with someone who breaks the rules they'll go after them too
Green:
Dressed in his formal black robes, with a deep purple cowl that left his features shadowed but for the glitter of his dark eyes, the Gatekeeper stood in the doorway for a moment, and something gave me the impression that he was staying at the Merlin.
Green: What an interesting outfit he's wearing
Orange: HIS COWL
Green: Hahahaha
Orange: there's no way that cowl will let himself be seen wearing a cowl in his non-cowl identity
Orange: unless.. that's what he wants harry to think
Orange: keep your eyes on that gatekeeper
Green: Haha yeah it could be a false flag
Green: Aw
Green: He told Michael everything
Green: V cute
Green: Also Michael knew
Green: Which, not unsurprising.
Orange: MICHAEL IS SO FREAKING BASED
Orange: just
Orange: kiss already
Orange: KISS ALREADY
Orange: HARRY YOU HAVE A DEMON LADY IN YOUR HEAD RN ITS TIME TO BE GAY
Orange: ;u; but like
Orange: i love how harry was so scared and michael was like dude, it's cool
Orange: just don't be a denarian, renounce your wizarding ways
Orange: and harry's like no sorry haha
Green: Yes!!!
Green: I love Michael
Green: And, l love that he's like "we don't know that that's the only way to get rid of denarianism, so try not to be too evil in the meantime"
Green: Also Molly is hitting on Dresden
Green: Slightly overtly
Green: l stg if you were lying about the dry spell l will shit
Orange: molly is sometimes channeling The Girl That Tries To Ruin The Yaoi
Green: Lol
Orange: but harry, harry can't not suffer
Orange: the only time harry should be allowed to have sex is like, moments before his sexual partner dies right
Orange: or he can have sex with bad guys, who then either is revealed to be bad and killed, or who has a really sweet change of heart and is also killed
Orange: harry's ex's shouldn't be in texas, they should be six feet under
Green: Oh nice callback
Orange: what callback
Green: He dumped ice water on Molly
Orange: I DID NOT GET THIS CALLBACK
Orange: so you're finishing up book 8???
Orange: whatttt
Green: Mhm
Orange: or is this not the end
Green: I mean
Green: Idk
Orange: green you're a voracious reader
Green: Its an ebook of 7-12
Orange: oh is it just the whole thing in one
Green: Yeah
Orange: oh nice
Green: But like, it's been hitting all the "we're getting close to the end of the book" beats
Orange: nice
Green: Like l am definitely solidly in the denouement
Green: All the book mysteries got unraveled, he got the girl, he talked to Michael
Green: l don't see many other conflicts other than teacher/student conflicts, which honestly are better left brewing over the next few books
Orange: ehehehehe
Orange: it took me a while to actually start seeing the patterns you're picking up right away
Orange: or maybe you're just thinking on the right wavelengths
Orange: it's cool
Green: l mean, except that next book should be all about "I'm really new at being a teacher oh god l'm fucking it all up"
Orange: YEAH
Orange: there's no way it won't be that
Orange: right
Green: That's going to be cute, and relatable
Orange: it will be
Green: Gosh l hope so
Orange: very cute and relatable
Orange: it has to be
Orange: butcher can't pass up an opportunity like that
Orange: could he
Green: You're worrying me
Orange: i guess he could just kill molly
Orange: but that wouldn't be satisfying!
Orange: he should only kill molly at the time where it will hurt harry the most
Orange: <rot13>ba gurve jrqqvat qnl</rot13>
Orange: i joke
Orange: it's a joke
Green: Yeah!!!
Orange: but yes
Green: Or, better yet, he should be the one to do it
Orange: OHHHHH
Orange: GREEN YOU DEVIL
Green: Hehwhehehe
Orange: that's the sorta thinking that we need in the writing community
Green: Hahaha
Orange: that creative ethic of how to make your hero suffer
Orange: Molly should like
Orange: become twisted by the cruel world into a person who does anything to get what she needs
Green: Yes!!!
Green: I mean
Green: No
Orange: and when harry realizes this, on the freaking, when they play the music and walk her down the aisle
Orange: he goes
Orange: "fuego"
Orange: tears streaming down his face
Green: I want there to be two timelines, one in which that happens and one where he saves her
Orange: ok, so there are the two timelines right
Orange: but in the saving molly timeline, she dies right when he thinks she is safe
Green: And the one where he saves her is the one we follow, but we get to see what happens in the other one sometimes
Green: Hahaha
Green: You're too cruel!!!
Orange: I am not too cruel
Orange: i just really like seeing harry suffer
Orange: i don't care how many girls have to die before he turns gay but i'm gonna find out
Green: He just forbade her to masturbate?
Orange: waitwhat
Green: "Hi, yeah, not only am l not going to have sex with you, you're not going to have sex with you"
Orange: dang harry, that's cold
Orange: but i guess it makes sense
Orange: he knew her when she was a wee lass
Green:
"Sex makes things complicated, and for you that could be bad." "But..." "And no, ah, solo exploration either." She blinked at me and asked in a blank tone, "Why?" "You'll go blind," I said, and walked up to her front porch. "You're joking," she said, and then hurried to catch up. "That's a joke, right? Harry?" I marched her up to her house without answering her. Molly wore a hopeless look on her face, as though she envied a condemned criminal, who could at least hope that the governor might call at the last minute.
Orange: harry you dog
Orange: you should have used your one brain cell to make up a story about how you need to power magic with sexual energy or something
Green: I feel like that would be unwise
Orange: i mean, we are talking about harry here
Orange: i'm not suggesting the wise decision i'm suggesting the funny one
Orange: he is incapable of being wise
Green: Hahaha fair
Green: I like that the Harry and Molly thing is exactly the same situation as Anakin and Ahsoka from Star Wars
Orange: mmmmmmmmm
Orange: is ahsoka the lady who anakin macked on in the prequels
Green: I mean, l say this without having watched The Clone Wars
Orange: ah i tooo have failed to watch that show
Green: No Ahsoka was the protagonist of the animated tv show
Orange: oh her
Orange: the twin tails girl
Green: She was Anakin's apprentice, and eventually the jedi council tried to execute her for turning to the dark side
Green: (She hadn't, really)
Orange: ooooo
Green: Anakin was a little bit mad at the council for this
Green: actually l think they might've actually done it?
Orange: oooo
Green: Finished Proven Guilty
Green: And hot dang I'd like to say that I totally called what it would be about
Orange: dang
Green: Green you genius
Orange: you are pretty solid with at least your immediate predictions
Green: Except it was so much better than I thought it would be
Orange: you're not so far from changes
Orange: changes is hype
Green: I'm pretty far
Green: It's #12 and I just finished #8
Green: Next is White Night but l think l need a bit of a break lol
Green: Also l think that title is a bit of a bummer
Green: Since he already used the Knight/Night thing for book 4
Green: But here's my predictions for White Night - it'll be about the white court, and also about finding a home for his magic sword
Green: And also about his brand new apprentice, on the personal side of things
Orange: hmmmm
Orange: yeah idk if white knight was great
Orange: it's probably alright
Orange: nope nope nvm it's ok
Green: it'd better have a bunch of good dresden and molly moments!!!
Orange: and by ok i mean
Orange: i definitely remember a punchy moment here
Orange: that i think is good
Orange: i think you can expect to see molly show off what a magician with more than one brain cell can do
Orange: but i'm not certain, i just think
Green: that's exciting, but what l want is dresden and molly moments!
Green: their interplay!
Green: their banter, if any!
Orange: well yeah
Orange: you might get a moment or two
Orange: harry is a.. fun teacher if anything
Orange: he's got a whole bucket of trauma and he'll maybe try really hard to make sure molly avoids such trauma right
Green: hahahaha
Green: that's pretty exciting
Orange: but harry is stupid right
Orange: so he'd pick really stupid teaching methods i bet
Green:
Molly: You know, I may not see eye to eye with my mom but I really do love my siblings. Dresden: *sucks in air through his teeth* Don't go down that road, Molly.
Green: hm that phenomenon you were just talking about is probably why Dresden forbid Molly from everything sexual
Green: U_U
Orange: it makes sense
Green: "OK Molly, lesson number one is to trust no one. I mean, sure, there are good people in the world, but l can practically guarantee that none of them will want to have sex with you. lf someone is attracted to you? Huuuge red flag. Are you writing this down? Sex is evil, write that down."
Green: You know dresden files is pretty good mystery novels
Green: each novel has 2-4 interrelated "major" mysteries going on and sometimes a few minor mysteries, and while things are surprising, it's never totally out of the blue like "wait, what?"
Green: l mean there are definitely twists which l don't think l could have guessed in advance even if l went over everything with a fine-toothed comb
Green: but some, like Molly being a wizard, were definitely foreshadowed and l'm like "ohhhhhhh"
Green: ldk these are good books!
Orange: ohohoho
Green: and very readable
Green: l also think book girl being coin girl was a good twist
Green: oh and back in book 2 or 3, where harry's like "there are 3 different types of werewolf, so l guess l need to figure out which type we're dealing with here" and the answer is "ALL THREE"
Green: l thought that was super fun
Orange: ohh yeah!!!
Orange: I forgot those books were so long ago
Orange: must be nearly a decade
Green: yeah they came out in like 2002
Green: so almost 2
Green: Proven Guilty came out in 2006 l think
#proven guilty spoilers#also the clone wars spoilers#dresden files#dresden files spoilers#the story continues
1 note
·
View note
Text
Interlude
Right now she's barely started Proven Guilty
Green: Dead Beat was about fairies and black magic
Green: the next one, Proven Guilty? fairies and black magic
Green: I mean I guess in the Dresdenverse, there's 3 types of shit - fairies, black magic, and vampires
Green: oh I guess there's demons
Green: and Outsiders, which are like demons but organized and more evil, apparently
Green: but harry will probably never encounter any of those
Green: oh wait I maybe remember Harry saying, many books ago, that red vampires are actually a type of fairy?
Green: or, at least, that they're from the Nevernever originally
Green: which, I'm still unclear on whether that means fairy or not
Green: so I guess maybe those three types of things are represented in the three types of vampires - white/demon, red/fairy (maybe?), black/black magic (probably)
Green: or maybe it was just that they had an affinity for the Nevernever
Orange: hmmm
Orange: i'd be sad if cowl was gatekeeper, but cowl is such a great curveball to throw
Orange: so not all of the residents of the nevernever are fae, I think?
Orange: I think they're like, hm
Orange: hmmmm
Orange: because most red vamps are, for lack of a better term, turned humans
Orange: so if they originated from the fae, then the primogenitor vamp may be fae but the rest certainly can't be
Orange: unless there are tribes of humans just freakin' surviving it out hardcore in the nevernever
Orange: i don't know for now
Orange: you might learn about them more in later books, in which case i do expect you to fill me in on the detail
Orange: 😉 no pressure
Orange: i don't think the main bad boss vamp is like, straight up dracula
Orange: i think vlad tepes is like a black courter
Green: lol yeah l can fill you in
Green: and god harry is so stupid
Green: he's like "l don't want to see michael ever again because he might kill me for having a demon in my brain
Orange: HARRY YOU IDIOT
Orange: YOU IDIOT
Orange: MICHAEL IS THE GOOD TYPE OF PALADIN
Green: like, no, actually, Michael did offer to spare all the Denarius men!
Orange: not only did he offer to spare
Orange: he legit refuses to attack an unarmed denarian doesn't he
Green: yeah
Green: something like that
Green: like
Orange: like if a denarian freaking walks up to him arms outstretched, no murderous intent
Orange: michael wouldn't embrace but certainly wouldn't attack
Orange: he is the goodest of freaking boys goffiogreofgjergre
Green: not only would he be not kill harry, he would probably help out???
Green: he would probably be like "yeah let's get this thing out of your brain, harry"
Orange: i stg if butcher hurts michael there will be a reckoning
Orange: you'll tell me if he hurts michael
Orange: i do not spoil
Green: yeah
Orange: but he will have hell to pay
Orange: we will cry out into the night as wolves
Orange: and go on the Hunt
Green: hahahaha
Orange: watch your ass, butcher
Green: oh I guess werewolves was a thing in one book
Orange: yes they are 🙂
Green: so I guess there is more than those 3 types of thing
Orange: they will not go away
Orange: you will see them again
Green: I mean, the kids have been a constant presence
Orange: they're just like, their thing is they're all freaking hot dreamboat types
Green: l was thinking of the big ones and the cop ones
Orange: everyone is hot
Orange: butcher likes describing hot people
Orange: and he doesn't skimp on the dudes too
Green: l noticed
Orange: which i appreciate
Orange: well he skimps a little
Green: yeah, last book had like 2 paragraphs describing thomas
Orange: but the fact that he tries is the good thing
Orange: YEAH
Green: it wasn't even his introduction in the series!
Orange: thomas is "one of the good ones"
Orange: oh of course
Orange: jim has to describe thomas every book
Green: l mean, l usually skip descriptions tbh U_U
Orange: and also have characters noticing how harry is shacking up with the hottest dude ever
Orange: well if you know what they look like
Orange: i mean it's understandable
Green: not really, tbh?
Orange: also you can probably just imagine it yourself your own way
Green: l don't really care what they look like
Orange: that's fair
Orange: i mean i feel like he toes the line between too much detail and too little, and i have room to express my preference
Green: l remember that when Harry met Thomas and his beau, he was like "damn fuck they're both so hot???"
Green: and that's really all l need to know
Orange: ahahaha
Orange: yes
Orange: that is all
Green: like l don't think the color of Thomas' eyes is ever going to be relevant
Orange: oh uhh
Orange: so white court vamp eyes change color depending on how hungry they are i think
Green: hahaha really?
Orange: so that sorta thing is a little relevant i think
Orange: i'm not sure
Orange: don't quote me
Green: haha ok fair
Green: so they're basically exactly twilight vampires
Orange: but i think they also do a thing when they use their stored sexual energy to go on the offensive
Green: oh yeah l remember that
Orange: like if a white court just goes ballistic then they'll have an eye thing
Orange: they're proto twilight vampires
Orange: twilight before twilight
Orange: if you do a primogenitor curse on the white court vamps, somewhere down the line you'll eliminate the Cullens
Orange: this is my take
Green: hahaha
Orange: i really hope
Orange: as you read these books
Orange: there's at least a twilight reference somewhere
Orange: i'll be disappointed
Orange: if there isn't
Green: oh yeah
Orange: and i'll add that to whatever grudges i'll hold against butcher for his crimes against the good boys
Orange: whatever those crimes may be
Green: l don't think l was looking out for any, so there might've been one many books ago?
Orange: i like to see harry suffer though, harry must suffer
Green: yeah
Green: me too
Orange: i don't think twilight was out at the time of book 7? am I way off on the timeline
Green: that's exactly right, actually
Green: or maybe 8
Green: ah, twilight was published in october, but dead beat was published in may
Green: so proven guilty was the first dresden files book published in the post-twilight era
Orange: i look forward to it
Orange: i actually don't know if twilight was ever written in the dresden files universe
Orange: or if it hit too close to home and the white court did some shenanigans to stephanie meyer to keep the book from publishing
Green: lol l bet it was
Orange: sure hope so
Orange: sureee hope so
Green: Bob is 1000000% more relatable since l was last reading these books, since l, too, now have an insatiable hunger for romance novels
Orange: oh absolutely
Orange: gosh
Orange: i can't wait for the next book
Orange: the developments that have occurred in the recent series of books is like, insane
Green: me before: heh a skull that's really horny all the time. That's funny, l guess
Green: me now: l wish my job would pay me in romance novels T_T
Orange: i mean he's horny, but i feel like his choice of romance novels is telling
Green: oh?
Orange: yeah
Orange: it's a very, hm, non-masculine thing
Green: ohh l see what you mean
Orange: so it makes his horniness less.. whatever it is i feel is offputting about the more traditionally masculine forms of sexual expression
Green: l thought you meant the specific novels he reads and l'm like "is it ever mentioned, other than that they're the horny kind?"
Orange: where it isn't even expression it's just like, focused on visual stuff instead of exercising the imagination?
Green:
"Yes," I said. "They're rated 'Burning Hot' by some kind of romance society." "Lots of sex and kink!" Bob caroled. "Gimme!"
Orange: I feel like even crappy dime romance novels have more in them than just porn, though i may be corrected
Orange: like i almost read bob's fascination with romance novels as being a weirdly asexual curiosity
Orange: which, to me, makes way more sense but only because that's my thing
Green: l think you're probably pretty right about that
Green: l mean, he has been known to be really into porn, and also to be into terrorizing women's bathrooms
Orange: shOOT
Green: l mean l don't think Dresden ever gave him porn, but he heard the name of one of the guys Dresden was investigating and was like "oh he's a porn director"
Orange: well like, his particular type of spirit is known for the desire to learn everything he can, and i imagine one of the last things you'd want to learn after learning all the useful stuff is sexuality
Green: yeah totally
Orange: and sexuality is very interesting to me, and i have that insatiable curiosity thing where i'll just insist people teach me things if it's a practical skill i think i could acquire in a sitting
Orange: not sexually
Orange: gosh darnit
Orange: gosh darnit why didn't i type that sentence differently
Orange: that looks awful
Green: lol
Green: so, yeah l think l might buy that
Green: yeah l would definitely buy that Bob got fixated on human sexuality
Green: but l looked it up and l was wrong about the women's bathrooms thing
Orange: oh??
Green: as far as l am, he's gone to a "wild party", and visited strip clubs instead of looking for info
Orange: ahhh
Orange: yeee
Orange: bob is definitely more willing to go the extra mile
Orange: i can't do any of the pro-social experiences of sexuality, i'd rather just observe through a screen and make gay jokes
Green: mmm
Orange: i'm not even attracted to men! sad!
Green: also he's constantly talking about Harry's sex life
Orange: well like yeah
Orange: dude is like perpetually sexually frustrated
Orange: i wonder if that's the secret to his power
Green: btw l really like the scene in Summer Knight when a hot fairy gal is hitting on him and he just freaking dumps a glass of ice water on his unmentionables
Orange: wait
Green: like "sorry, not in the mood anymore"
Orange: is that the one where
Orange: she's like
Orange: "gimme ur firstborn"
Green: yeah lol
Orange: HA
Orange: I think of that scene a lot
Orange: friggin maeve
Orange: the one name i remember
Green: ',:) l bet you do
Orange: and it's maeve
Orange: oh you'll hear my thoughts on that scene
Orange: maybe after you finish the round of books
Green: up to changes you mean?
Green: or up to where you are?
Orange: yeah i feel like i'll have to talk about it after you finish changes
Orange: or at least when you're partway through
Green: mhm
Orange: actually
Orange: maybe even later
Green: that was such a fucking chad move
Orange: but maeve is interesting and things get more interesting later
Orange: and harry is, at the least, a freaking boss babe
Orange: harry sometimes is a girlboss
Orange: i think at one point he freaking
Orange: lips off to queen mab right at her introduction
Orange: what a chad
Orange: what a dumb idiot himbo chad
Green: he's like "yeah true that your whole 'seduction' thing is definitely working, but you failed to consider that ice water on my cock is a real turn-off!!!"
Green: it's like a scene straight out of jojo's bizarre adventure
Green: btw
Green: he told billy you shouldn't eat or drink anything there
Orange: this is true
Green: and so, just following that rule, it makes sense that dumping a glass of water on your crotch is fine
Orange: yeah
Orange: totally fine
Orange: fae food can be problematic for people iirc
Orange: just a bad idea to accept gifts from faries
Green: but, like, as l find out more about how fairy bs works, it seems like the principle behind not eating or drinking anything there is that you don't want to take anything as a gift
Green: yeah!
Green: which, it seems like using the water as an arousal dampener is also kind of accepting the water as a gift?
Green: so, idk, that seemed weird
Orange: well you accept it but you twist it to your ends
Orange: that's what the fae do, so you played their own trick on them
Green: l feel like that would still put him in their debt, though
Orange: the fae give gifts to try to twist you to their ends, usually they take transactions or they pretend it isn't a transaction when it is
Orange: jeez i can't wait for you to read the next few books
1 note
·
View note
Text
Dead Beat
Green: but yeah I'm betting his date is a necromancer, or possibly someone who will die before they can bang
Orange: ohohohoho
Orange: who is this man's date
Green: the bookstore assistant
Green: magic bookstore
Orange: shoot
Orange: i don't remember them
Orange: hopefully it's a horrible thing for him though
Green: yeah
Orange: harry needs to suffer
Green: I don't really remember his sister's circumstances, but I'm kind of hoping it's secretly his sister?
Green: huh
Green: harry definitely has a sibling thing going on
Orange: ooo
Orange: ooo wait
Orange: hmmmmmm
Orange: well i won't say anything o3o
Green: lol do you want the rundown on everything I know about his sister?
Orange: go on
Green: OK so when his dad died he got adopted by an evil wizard named dustin
Green: and, he started dating his sister
Green: and later he found out that his sister and dustin were conspiring to sacrifice him for some kind of dark magic ritual
Green: so he kills them both, I think
Green: or something
Orange: hmm
Orange: the dark backstory
Green: and then in Summer Knight she shows up and she's like "hey harry I'm alive, and also working for someone evil, no comment on if I'm still doing the dark magic shit tee hee"
Green: and I can't remember who she's working for but I think he found out
Orange: shoot i may have completely forgotten if that's his sister or no
Green: foster sister
Orange: oh
Orange: yes
Green: same way dustin isn't his real dada
Orange: but dustin was his daddy 😉
Orange: ehaeuadheuhueaheuhueh
Green: not biologically related, and I'm not clear on the timeline so it's possible they met after that special age
Orange: right
Orange: i'm not clear either
Orange: dresden files books usually go in order but some of them like the compilations of short stories interspersed are more, spotty in the timeline business
Green: anyways, and what's going down in this book I'm on now, dead beat, is fairy necromancy shit, which is both of what his sister is involved in, I think
Green: and she has a history of trying to seduce secrets out of dresden
Green: so I'm thinking, it's kind of possible that this book lady is her
Orange: hmmm
Orange: welllll
Orange: i don't remember
Green: I'd say like 30% chance
Orange: but i would say you are smart for suspecting it
Orange: you gotta have doubts for any girl dresden is around
Green: maybe more like 20%
Orange: the boys are good actually
Orange: but the girls are dangerous
Green: the odds she's a necromancer are much higher tbh
Orange: probably
Green: he knows there's 6 in town, and by my count he's only encountered 5
Green: unless a ghoul counts, which, probably not
Orange: dead beat is a great book
Orange: fantastic
Green: really?
Orange: omg
Orange: it has some
Green: I'm excited then
Orange: really killer stuff in it
Orange: hot dang
Green: nice
Orange: is uh
Orange: sword bro in it
Orange: you know sword bro
Orange: hates harry
Green: not yet, I don't think?
Green: oh yeah that guy
Orange: has a hate boner for harry at all times
Orange: idk his name
Orange: but he is, in my opinion, also a good boy
Green: no, but harry has said in this book that if he encounters sword bro, sword bro will probs attack on sight since harry has a demon brand
Orange: a demon br-
Orange: is it a coin
Green: he touched a coin yeah
Orange: YEAH WE HAVE
Green: like a book or two ago
Orange: PENNY IN YOUR THOUGHTS, HARRY????
Orange: ahahhahaha i've wanted to make that joke for ages
Green: lol
Orange: ok so harry has coin girl in his head, and that's like, very good and all
Orange: and it's good
Orange: it can only lead to good things
Green: I don't know about a girl
Green: rn it's mostly fire
Orange: well like, wait
Orange: usually when you touch a denariaua you get like, a friggin
Orange: demon taking over sorta deal?
Orange: like they tempt you right
Orange: am i wrong here, is it just fire
Orange: i better not be freaking spoiling you
Orange: gosh darnit
Orange: it's been ages since i've read the early books i don't remember anything T_T
Orange: hearing you summarize is pulling up jumbled clusters of lore but not putting it in order
Green: it's just fire atm
Green: doesn't seemlike that much of a spoiler
Orange: oh wait he isn't like
Orange: holding around the coin
Orange: he's got it stored away right
Green: no
Green: can't remember?
Orange: yeah so probably explains it's just fire for now, maybe temptation later
Orange: idk knowing harry he probably buried it somewhere
Green: he just touched it for like half a second
Orange: and put concrete on it
Orange: well yeah but the coins don't need more than a half second to do changes in the brainges
Green: yeah
Orange: like he got fire from it, who knows where that coin has been
Green: hence fire
Orange: probably should get checked for rabies
Green: he mentioned what he did with itt
Green: what is with harry and hot siblings
Orange: well
Orange: harry isn't so bad looking himself...
Orange: he's just ugly in comparison to hot sibs
Green: I just put on top coat so I can't read so well
Orange: top..coat?
Green: clear nail polish which protecs the real nail polish
Green: probably should not be gotten on pages
Orange: ahhh makes sense
Green: cant type so well either but easier than reading
Green: so rn I'm basically pacing in my room thinking abt dresden files lol
Green: I like the mui mysterioso white council necromancers
Green: theres also a necromancer who hates dresden and he's like "who tf are you"
Green: I think it's gotta be kravos or dustin
Green: like, a zombie version
Green: and I think maybe dresden killed kravos' ghost so it has to be dustin?
Green: can't think of other necromancers who hate harry
Green: update: coin girl has appeared literally 2 pages later
Green: and she said he put the coin in concrete under his basement
Orange: aauaaua
Orange: HAAHAAHA
Orange: I WAS SO SCARED I SPOILT U
Orange: so now harry has a tulpa ouo
Orange: except they probably already exist as a separate sort of supernatural entity in his world
Orange: soo hm
Orange: i think dustin was like a big time necro and harry's just too much of a goody two shoes so they have to respect the fact that this freaking nutso powerhouse wizard is in the city they're planning to do mischeif in
Green: yeah likeI said it wasn't m cuh of a spoiler
Green: harry kissed book girl and she seems like a good person so I'm thinking either she's mui mysterioso white council lady or she's gonna die soon
Green: probably the former
Orange: hmm
Orange: hopefully both
Orange: i'd dig that
Green: mui mysterioso white council necromancer lady, I mean
Orange: ohoho
Orange: i actually don't know who this chick is
Green: also I bet mui mysterioso white council necromancer guy is his dad
Orange: wait is harry a greycoat
Green: his wizard, non-evil dad
Green: ebeneezer scrooge
Green: dad #3
Orange: ebenezer is the best dad a man can ask for
Orange: he is also based
Orange: and you'll find what he's based on soon hopefully
Green: if I'm right about dustin being the zombie, that's all three of his "dead beat" dads in one book
Orange: OHHHHHH
Orange: OHHHHHHHHHHHH
Orange: I DIDNT
Orange: GET THAT PUN
Orange: FSFHSFSHFSFHSFh
Green: in a recentish book I found out he's the white council dark magic wet work guy
Orange: i hope you're right
Orange: i thought it was just the simple
Orange: dead beat, he's a PI on a 'beat' about dead things
Green: (a couple chapters ago he talked to his dead dad #1 in a dream)
Orange: awwwwwwwwww
Orange: his pops is also based
Orange: based illusionist
Green: idk what a greycoat is
Green: so, maybe
Orange: ah
Orange: probs not then
Orange: hopefully he bonds nicely with his new comrades
Green: if you mean white council dark magic wetwork guy then no
Orange: are you talking about
Orange: the BLACKSTAFF
Orange: =u=
Green: uh, I'm talking about dad #3
Orange: yes, ebenezer
Orange: he's the blackstaff
Orange: his wetwork staff is black
Green: ah! yeah
Orange: he can unleash some fresh hell that boy
Orange: fresh and piping hot hell
Orange: do they tell stories about the satellite yet
Orange: or are you not there yet
Green: OK yeah actually I'm super thinking kumori (mui mysterioso white council necromancer lady) is bookg girl
Orange: mmmm
Green: never heard of a satellite
Orange: ok
Orange: well when you hear about it, again, fresh hell
Orange: i mean i guess the vampire war is only just begun here right
Green: bc Harry tellsbook girl his plan and they kiss (!!!) and she talks abt responsibility and he's like "huh never heard someone without great power talk abt responsibility like that"
Orange: ahahahahahhahahaha
Orange: freaking jim butcher amirite
Green: and as soon as he leaves, Kumori shows up like "Hey dresden I'm going to need you to leave town before you do some incredibly stupid shit
Green: oh he didn't phrase it like that
Green: and yeah they kiss and she's like "I only kissed you bc it's been so long since I got any" and he's like "same"
Green: book girl, I mean, not kumori
Green: unless they're the same person, in which case, uh, yeah
Orange: hahahahahaha
Green: l love all this mysterious identity stuff
Green: its so fun trying to guess which characters are which
Green: and now I'm pretty dang confident book girl isn't his hot sister
Green: bc she seemed like a kind of good person
Green: sword bro just showed up lol
Green: dresden calls in the wardens so it's not a huge surprise
Green: morgan
Orange: hmmm
Orange: ahahaha
Orange: MORGAN
Orange: that's sword bro's name
Orange: i like him
Green: yeah me too
Green: l love how much he despises harry
Green: they just gave him a gray cloak
Green: so l think that might have something to do with what you were talking about
Green: HIS NAME IS DONALD???
Green: Donald Morgan…
Green: and now she's making him the wizard chief of police?
Green: geeze
Green: oh!!!!
Green: book girl is coin girl
Green: that's surprising
Green: good twist, very good twist
Orange: ehehehe
Orange: heheehehehe
Orange: aahahahahaa i keep
Orange: accidentally spoiling things
Orange: that happen in this exact book
Orange: darnit
Green: lol
Orange: if you hear anything about satellites let me know
Green: l guess like you said it's a book a lot happensin
Green: oh yeah, apparently a couple books ago l found out that dad #3 called down a satellite to kill a bunch of vamps
Green: and also apparently some vamps went batshit (heh) and broke all the rules to get back at the council
Orange: HAAHAHA
Orange: finally
Orange: that's the good stuff right there
Orange: do you see the fresh hell this man can raise
Orange: this is a powerful man
Orange: maybe
Orange: maybe one day, harry can have war stories of his own
Green: l mean he kinda already does right?
Orange: well yeah
Green: there was that time he died and teamed up with his own ghost
Green: that was cool as heck
Orange: but he isn't making nasa mad right
Green: lol no
Orange: he's not at the cosmic scale of fresh hellraising
Orange: not yet
Orange: actually idk if he'll ever be as good as dad#3
Orange: i feel like the author sorta respects how he does power scaling? so much older talented wizards beat young talent hands down
Orange: because those are the ones that survived to be that old and accrued more power and knowledge
Orange: so i feel like harry may do mr blackstaff proud but, you know, not surpass him. Not without serious help i reckon
Green: yeah that makes sense
Green: also he made out with book girl a little more before banishing her to the depths of his twisted mind
Orange: eheheheheheheehaehehaehahehahe
Orange: the temptation
Orange: such a freaking, based thing
Orange: and you know, he's fRIENDS WITH MICHAEL
Orange: HE HAS A DEMON IN HIS HEAD
Green: lol
Orange: HOW WILL HE TELL MICHAEL
Green: yeah that's going to be fun
Orange: imagine, he tells him, and michael just freaking kills him
Orange: just lops his head off
Orange: end of dresden
Green: you know l bet he could ask michael for an exorcism
Green: l think he thinks he has it under control tho
Green: bc he's an IDIOT
Orange: it wouldn't be half bad right, but idk. Michael gives denarians the opportunity to repent and all, but he doesn't succeed a lot of the time
Orange: he is SO STUPID
Orange: I LOVE HOW DUMB HARRY IS
Green: yeah!!!
Orange: HES A DETECTIVE BUT HIS IQ IS 2
Green: hahaha exactly
Orange: like i get it though, he sees it's a problem but just like
Orange: he's got a lot of problems!
Green: yeah
Orange: Why care about this one in particular!
Orange: On the backburner
Orange: bet he feels his back burning
Green: and earlier he's like "who's this zombie guy who really hates me and looks hella familiar?"
Green: "eh, it'll keep
Green: "l doubt it's all that important"
Orange: HAHAHA
Orange: he never learns
Orange: and he always solves problems the dumb way
Green: oh lol the t-rex skeleton has been mentioned thrice now
Orange: and this actually isn't so bad if he survives right
Orange: he'll get a reputation for being an idiot 600 pound gorilla in your china shop
Orange: so be nice, yeah?
Green: and he just called the fairy in charge of all the predatory ghosts
Orange: be nice
Orange: THE FREAKING
Orange: HUNT
Orange: GET READY FOR THE GOOD STUFF
Green: l wonder if something will happen with the t rex skeleton
Orange: wow
Orange: why would you even
Orange: imply
Green: :thinking face:
Orange: insinuate
Orange: that something would ever happen with that
Orange: in a book about necromancers in chicago
Orange: i'm hurt, offended even
Green: hahahaha
Green: there's one in denver too
Green: but l think the denver one is fake so it doesn't get damaged, whereas earlier this book Harry made sure to point out that the one in chicago is the real deal
Green: aha, and now he just found the magic book everyone is looking for
Green: what a good idea
Orange: harry is incredibly smart and responsible
Green: "better summon the erl king so no one else can summon him first!"
Orange: yes!
Orange: he's very good!
Green: "better find that book that only l know how to find, so that no one else finds it on accident!"
Orange: did he ask bob anything weird as this goes down
Orange: or is that a different book
Green: jesus pesus harry if you'd just stayed out of it none of this would be happening!!!
Orange: or like, closer to the start
Green: bob got kidnapped
Green: uhhh IDK
Orange: NO POOR BOB
Orange: see idk how this story goes
Green: because bob was himmler's skull before he was dustin's (before he was harry's)
Orange: we have, interesting times ahead, you know
Orange: of course
Green: and when he remembers being himmler's skull he turns evil
Orange: ok so you've been introduced to Robert.
Orange: i'm calling evil bob robert
Green: but harry said "under no circumstances are you to remember that, even if someone orders you to"
Orange: i decided today, right now
Green: that's cute
Green: yeah l think that's v sensible
Orange: well harry used up his one brain cell ordering bob to not be evil
Orange: so you know the rest of the book is gonna be good while his brain cell recovers
Green: lol yeah exactly
Orange: you have only a handful of books to go before getting to Changes
Green: like 4
Orange: and like, that's a banger, and then bangers get more frequent down the line
Green: I got a ebox set
Green: 7-12, and changes is the last one
Orange: i don't remember how many bangers there were before Changes but that's because that book freaking changed the scale of what a banger is for the dresden files
Orange: changes is an appropriate finale to the set
Green: that and the fact it has a very different title from the previous 11 books made me think it might be important in some way
Orange: what with <rot13>JULQVQLBHPYVPXGUVF</rot13> dying and all
Green: l assume l shouldn't click that
Orange: gosh darnit
Orange: you took my dang joke without clicking it
Orange: it's safe to click
Green: lol
Green: huh
Green: mysterious necromancer zombie guy was a demon guy who harry defeated in the demon coin book
Green: l don't remember him at all lol
Orange: oh who is he
Green: ldk
Orange: is he the one with the tie
Green: snake man
Orange: oh
Green: he just dropped a ton of snakes on harry
Orange: yeah idk most of the coins
Orange: i just want
Green: l mean l think he's a coin guy?
Orange: coin puns from them
Green: "former Knight of the Order of the Blackened Denarius"
Orange: "if i had a nickel" "penny for your thoughts" etc etc
Green: hahaha
Green: he just said "Payback isa bitch" which is kind of coin-related, kinda
Orange: that's fair
Green: l don't know who this guy is but it's looking like this book isn't going to have 3 dads in it
Green: maybe it'll only have 1
Green: which is such a bummer for the book titled "Dead Beat"
Orange: one can only hope for as many dads as possible
Orange: but actually
Orange: for a book named dead beat...
Orange: isn't no dads appropriate
Green: l guess?
Green: but there should be more dad themes
Green: l mean it's cool that dad #1 showed up for his first ever appearance
Green: l was hoping for dad #2 as well
Green: maybe mui mysterioso white council necromancer guy will be dad #2? that'd be interesting
Orange: you got a dream of biodad, you got a uhh, you got the necro dad's crew sliding in, and dad number three is probably dropping fresh hell on vamps rn
Green: wait, no it wouldn't
Green: necro dad wasn't even part of the crew, right? he was just on the wardens and when they confiscated all of himmler's stuff he was like "mama mia check out all this great necromancy stuff; l've gotta learn me some of that!"
Orange: i don't remember that, i mean
Orange: necros are barely a crew, they just want the same thing
Orange: and once they see it they'll probably turn on one another
Green: yeah, but l mean, he was kind of a small fry right?
Orange: mmmaaayybe
Green: yeah yeah
Orange: prob
Orange: i mean he got killed by a teenage dresden
Orange: who must have only just been growing his brain cell
Green: it seems to me like they were studying under the master himself, and dustin was just doing his best with the master's reminders and to do lists or w/e
Orange: fair
Green: …his name is justin
Green: not dustin
Orange: dustin dumourne
Orange: dudu
Green: hm ok
Green: so l guess when harry dies, it's going to be doing the right thing and alone
Green: l wonder if these moment-of-death prophecies/curses are in some way foreshadowing how his death is going to be important
Orange: I bet he will just do a nuke
Orange: Or if he gets powerful, do a mass extinction event
Green: just kill literally every vampire
Orange: Lol just eradicate a whole vampire court
Orange: Or all of them except tommyboy
Green: a progenitor curse on an important demon
Green: bc it seems like the red ones might be of demonic descent in some way
Green: and the white ones definitely are
Orange: Huh, didn't have that lore in my memory
Orange: That is kinda smart
Green: and who cares about the black ones since l think there's basically one
Green: and he might have dealt with her already by that time
Green: omg
Green: omg he just said that the white council only prohibits using necromancy on humans
Green: ong
Green: omg l think l know where this is going
Green: OMG YES
Green: HES DOING IT
Green: THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN
Green: also Cowl (mui mysterioso white council necromancer guy) said that he was the only one of the necromancers who thought dresden could actually contain the erlking, and kumori said Cowl respects harry
Green: so yeah l'm thinking maybe he's definitely dad #3
Green: or maybe…just maybe…Morgan?
Green: l mean that's a long shot
Green: Morgan seemed pretty into the whole "dark magic is super evil and only for evil people" thing
Green: and it didn't seem like he had a subtle bone in his entire body
Green: heh, bone
Green: but…maybe
Green: 5% chance
Green: and if it is him, l'll feel like a genius
Green: l mean, l'll feel super disappointed, because what a dumb twist that would be
Green: boss lady is shit talking morgan, and Morgan stomps up and start shit-talking harry to warden boss lady and turns around and sees harry and the dinosaur standing there
Green:
"Yeah," I told Luccio, and my voice was the only dry thing about me. "I see what you mean."
Green: what the FUCK does this mean???
Green:
I snorted. "Second one we'll hit calls himself Cowl. He's good. I've never seen a wizard stronger than he is, and that includes Ebenezar McCoy."
Green: l wonder if this is foreshadowing in some way
Green: Cowl is taking orders from Bob
Green: by which I mean, Bob
Green: and not Robert
Green: because he's faking!!!
Green: ha! l knew it
Green: l'm a fuckign genius
Green: Ok so apparently Cowl might've just been some random guy? He sure didnt get unmasked
Green: I bet he's still alive
Orange: man why is discord not notifying me
Orange: fkjsgoijedog
Green: I guess it's still possible for him to be Ebenezer, but at the end he seemed pretty evil compared to Ebenezer
Green: But he's definitely in the Senior Council
Orange: oh yeah
Orange: i don't remember who cowl is
Orange: idk if he's even been revealed
Green: He set up a huge double cross on the council, killing hundreds of wizards
Green: Also he tried to become a death god
Orange: oh is that the guy
Orange: nice
Orange: it'd be really dope if it were ebenezer
Green: It would
Orange: but idk, ebenezer is strongly principled even as the wetwork guy
Green: His thing was he wanted to become god of death in order to end death once and for all
Orange: ooohohoho
Orange: noble intentions
Green: At least, that's what the late Kumori seemed to think
Orange: noble intentionssss
Orange: the hero chicago deserves
Green: Yeah!
Orange: though probably wouldn't mean a lack of senescence
Orange: probably would be people decaying into an eternity of suffering as skin and bone eventually
Green: Oof
Green: Yeah that seems plausible
Orange: though i'd hope if you put a body in a blender you'd be able to cease consciousness even if the individual cells are alive
Orange: also an end of death in general? Cutting your steak from a cow that won't die....
Green: If I were him I'd be looking at half vampirism
Orange: yeah
Orange: but he might want to be an altruist
Orange: and save more than himself
Green: But if they need human blood specifically then it's not very scalable
Orange: yeah it ain't
Green: No that's what I mean
Orange: oh haha
Green: If everyone is a half vampire then that might be better than everyone dying
Green: But I cant remember what their requirements are
Orange: yeah idk about that one
Orange: there aren't too many easy tickets to immortality that don't involve soul crushing changes to how you operate
Green: If they just need animal blood then it's a super good idea modulo dying if they ever kill someone
Green: So that would be the angle I'd work
Orange: i mean this is a world where merlin is a thing
Orange: so the grail, philosopher's stone, elixir of life
Orange: one could write in an avenue towards the goal that readers may already assume exists in the world
Green: Yeah, but, those must have drawbacks right?
Orange: hmm
Green: I mean maybe not
Orange: hmmMm
Orange: uncertain
Orange: but it'd be cool if it did
Orange: no free lunch
Green: Oh yeah
Green: I think a story about finding the grail or w/e and trying to work around its bs would be cool
Green: I'm just saying, if I personally had Cowl's goals, I'd be pursuing a solution to the downsides of vampirism, not trying to become a death god
Orange: right right
Orange: manufacture synthetic blood
Orange: though it'd suck if harry progenitorcursed-away vampirism when he had those plans
Orange: you'll see when you get to the book Final Solution how he handles the vamps
Green: Figure out a way to stop people from succumbing to their hunger so that the whole plan isn't insanely dangerous
Green: LOL
Orange: i'm sorry i had to
Orange: the idea of vamp genocide is fun
Orange: genocide? kinocide?
Orange: kinocide
Orange: because they have kin
Green: Genocide seems appropriate
Orange: not all vamps have babby
Orange: some have, well, bite-babby
Green: Yeah I guess but they use the same words for it
Green: I mean, they use incredibly archaic words for it
Green: But that's just because they're old
Orange: hehehehe
Orange: i believe, magically speaking
Orange: when a vamp bites another vamp, and they turn into a full vamp, that's their offspring?
Orange: otherwise progenitor curse wouldn't work right
Green: Right
Green: I mean, we don't even know that such a curse exists
Green: Well, I don't
Green: Maybe you do
Orange: well why wouldn't it
Green: IDK, I think it could
Orange: Curses exist, using blood for curses exist, or hair, and surely familial ties count as a connection
Orange: hm, but then it'd be way too easy to kidnap a magician's family member and do a cursing
Green: But watch Harry say in the next book that comes out "ha, you'd think so, but killing someone using their family isn't possible, even for really dark magic" and then give some sort of sensible explanation
Orange: lol that'd be a thing wouldn't it
Orange: he'd go on to explain that science and magic aren't precisely the same and that isolating the genes that connect people to their family members is an ongoing area of research in cursology
Green: Hahaha
Orange: how fast are you reading these books
Orange: from what i can see it's a pretty brisk pace
Green: So, I'm a little bit BSing here, but I think that part of the idea with the primogeniture curse is that if your parents had never existed, you wouldn't be around. So it would be a one-way type deal, and probably need a lot of power
Orange: wait
Orange: so you'd need a parent or you'd need a kid?
Green: Like in the porn one there was a lady doing a bunch of bad luck curses and she needed to do them at certain times
Green: You'd need a parent
Orange: hmmm
Orange: hMMMM
Orange: HMMMMMM
Orange: yeah i get it, makes more sense if it's a parent
Green: Also just dramatically makes more sense. Cant deal with the demon who created all vampires using some dark magic and a random vamp, but if you had him at your mercy and a heck of a lot of dark magic, you could probably do a vampicide
Green: A hemocide
Green: Ah and to answer you question, I read the first 5 and a half over the course of three days, I read the rest of #6 a few months later, and I finished #7 today
Green: So uh, either pretty dang quickly, or pretty dang slowly, depending on your point of view
Green: Since, it's taken me like 6 months to read 7 of them
Green: But 3 days to read 5 of them
Orange: hmmm
Orange: yeah if you uh
Orange: continue to talk to me about what you read
Orange: i enjoy it
Orange: because i remember VERY LITTLE except for whatever lore is needed for future reference
Orange: i started reading the dresden files when i was a wee babby
Orange: by this i mean, when i was a college freshman
Orange: a fresh man, if you will
Green: Yeah, I also read 1-4 a million years ago
Green: So I read them again to catch up
Orange: hahahaha
Green: And, yeah, I love talking about what I'm reading! I'll definitely keep giving you all my really good predictions
Orange: yeah i love them actually
Green: I'm pretty disappointed I was so wrong about book girl
Orange: you win some you lose some
Green: Yeah
Green: oh I'd forgotten about Gatekeeper
Green: so, yeah, I guess there's 3 suspects for the identity of Cowl - Gatekeeper, Ebenezer, and Merlin
Green: I'm changing my guess to Gatekeeper
Green: oh and Injun Joe
Green: I don't think it's Injun Joe
Green: and I think he has an alibi
1 note
·
View note
Text
Dead Beat
Except not actually Dead Beat because it's just a recap of what Green has read so far. Dead Beat pt 0?
Green: god at first I was joking but I just started reading more Dresden Files and Butters is like "Harry I didn't know you were living with a male lover" and Harry just says he's not gay a couple times and makes zero effort to explain that Thomas is his brother?
Orange: well it'd be hell to admit that when the white council freakin hates the vamp
Orange: hate the vamp, slay the vamp
Orange: do not befriend the vamp
Orange: do not hAVE KIDS WITH THE VAMP
Green: oh yeah I guess
Orange: but like
Orange: only half siblings sooooOOoo
Orange: it'd still be verboten due to one of them being a VAMP
Green: mhm
Green: in his defense, white is like the least-evil type of VAMP
Orange:i mean
Orange: you- you do know what goes down in traditional white vamp society right
Green: fucked up shit, yeah
Orange: they have white vamp privilege for sure, what with all the slaves and the eating
Green: but, red vamps are like, automatically evil, right?
Green: and same with black?
Orange: i mean there might be like, one good one
Green: and white ones are just tempted to do evil things
Orange: there are also daywalkers for red vamp society?
Green: daywalkers?
Orange: i think?
Orange: they might be called something else, but they have the same vibe
Green: do you mean the almost-vamps like susan?
Orange: they're like good red vamps who don't fully turn because they refuse to kill
Green: yeah!
Orange: wait
Orange: where are you at
Orange: you know about suzie
Green: the book after he finds out Thomas is his borther, I think
Green: or maybe 2 books after
Orange: but how do y
Orange: d
Orange: did the reveal of her being a failed red vamp come much earlier than i thought....
Orange: hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Green: wayyy earlier, I think
Orange: hmMMmMMmmMMMm
Orange: man i can't say anything can i
Orange: shoot
Orange: gosh darn it
Orange: AND THERE'S SOME OF THE BEST STUFF
Orange: HUAERGH
Orange: like there's this whole thing
Orange: earlier
Green: so, here's what I know about susan
Orange: that was post-harry-and-susan i think
Orange: oh let me know what you know yes
Green: she used to be an investigative reporty for whom harry was really horny, and also perpetually aggravated by
Orange: absolutely
Green: bc she kept showing up to do interview or w/e
Green: and they had a couple dates, I think? Which harry sometimes skipped
Green: due to wizard shit
Orange: gotta love wizard shit
Orange: some magical stuff that
Green: anyways, Susan invited herself along as harry's +1 to a big vamparty
Green: during which a lot of shit went down
Orange: wait he INVITED SUSAN TO THAT
Green: harry got a grave, some wizards who I've just found out are on the white council gave the vamps a sword
Orange: oh she invited herself
Green: or, wait
Green: he invited his paladin friend, and susan SNUCK IN
Orange: MICHAEL
Orange: IS MY FAVORITE BOY
Green: michael is such a good boy
Green: I love his whole "constantly in the right place at the right time" bit
Orange: if only he was gay with harry, like, this harry guy needs to get laid somehow right
Green: lol right
Orange: but michael is way too good for him so idk
Green: which brings us back to the party
Orange: and so the Celibacy Saga continues
Green: the vamps tried to destroy the magic sword, making harry and michael try and stop them, and one thing led to another, and he started a war and killed a bunch of civilians (but only probably) and susan got envampired
Orange: ehehehahaha
Green: a book or two later, susan turns up and she's like "I'm only a half-vampire because I haven't killed anyone; I've been doing investigative reporting on some vamps in south america trying to stop them" and he's like "cool, let's bone" and they have really kinky vampire sex and solve some mysteries together, and then she's like "I can't be around you because I get really horny" or something like that so she leaves forever
Orange: ohhhh
Green: it might've been a slavic country and not south american?
Green: or maybe central american?
Green: who knows
Green: not me
Orange: and that ends the first celibacy saga, but one probably should consider the rule of threes...
Orange: maybe there will be three celibacy sagas
Green: in the book I'm reading now he has a date
Orange: i hope so, harry needs to be perpetually scuffed and frustrated
Orange: gosh darnit
Orange: haarrryyy, stop being around girls for like 10 books for me
Green: but yeah I'm betting his date is a necromancer, or possibly someone who will die before they can bang
Orange: ohohohoho
Orange: who is this man's date
...To be continued!
#dead beat spoilers#dresden files#dresden files spoilers#fujoshi cw#hope you like raw chats#bc these are some RAW CHATS#the story continues
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Story So Far...
Orange and Green were hanging out in voice chat. Orange mentioned Dresden Files, and Green said she was up to Dead Beat! They made some jokes about how hot Dresden thinks his brother is, and Green was like "he's mentioned twice that the T Rex skeleton at the museum is real bones. I wonder if that will ever be relevant later in this book."
1 note
·
View note