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Ok but this makes so much sense! ✨Dracula spoilers ahead✨ I remember reading this and being excited to see how it would end because he built Dracula up to be this amazing magnificent creature right? He’s as strong as 20 men he was one of the most clever war generals in the world and that was 100s of years ago so he’s has 100s of years of further study. He has these women who are also strong and deadly as sort of minions he seemed so unstoppable and when I say he just DIED like nothing. Like an animal or a dog you put down. I was SO MAD he made it too easy!! But I always wondered if he had to write it that way for it to get published but now I’m thinking he had to kill off his gay fantasy that was the only possible ending in his mind.

Do you guys remember how kidnap fantasies were popular on wattpad because young girls and queer teens were both made to feel shame at the thought of their own sexualities, so the fantasy of being kidnapped totally against their will was a way for them to engage with a romantic or sexual fantasy without feeling morally in the wrong for doing so? Added bonus that the fantasy involved being whisked away from repressive environments like home or school, right?

Finding out that Bram Stoker was in a sexless marriage and that scholars believe that he very likely was closeted gay puts the entire book into perspective as to WHY it reads EXACTLY like a self insert wattpad Dracula kidnap fic:

“I TOTALLY love my wife and would never do anything that an upstanding Good Straight Working Man wouldn’t do but oh nooo, big strong man with broad back and strong enough arms to carry me back to bed like a princess trapped me and claimed me as his, completely against my will 👉👈 But he protects me against the bad evil sexual women (who I assure you, I am TOTALLY sexually attracted to, as any straight man with a choice would be) but trust me, I do NOT want ANY of this. What’s that? The Count is not capable of feeling love? Would be a shame if I had the special ability to change tha-”

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

Reblog if you need to scream

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The “oh I could definitely write this fanfic in under 5000 words and it really wouldn’t take me that long” voice in your head is actually the devil speaking

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THAT FUCKING SMILE !!

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I manifested to close to the sun and am currently unwell at this time. I JUST had a moment where I thought “aww I think tumblr is slowing down thirsting after Jacob I hope that doesn’t happen” and I get this.

Jacob Elordi

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Ok so maybe I see this in a unique way because I’m a child of abuse and had narcissistic parent. But multiple things can be true at the same time. I hate how the internet is so incredibly black and white. Drake was absolutely sexually tortured for months as a child by someone he worked with who had SO MANY red flags and no one cared. This is a fact. It went to court and everything there’s documented FACTS. Now it can also be a fact that he SA-ed a teenager himself and has allegations against him. These things can be true at the same time. Sympathizing with someone for having something terrible happen to them doesn’t mean they are now 100% absolved from sin and get unlimited get out of jail free cards. It just means we are humans and so are they. It means people can be complicated and carry on cycles of abuse. It means trauma can make people do terrible things and even turn them into bad people when they get older if they don’t work to heal themselves.

When we all come together and say “poor teenage Drake! I’m so sad that should have never happened!” some people are acting like we are patting him on the back for sending dirty picks to a teen and being like “it’s ok buddy, completely understandable!” It’s getting infuriating especially on this site because we of all people should understand how deeply attached we get to our media. Us tumblr girlies should absolutely relate to being 13 and being in love with Drake and Josh and obsessively watching all these shows and buying the magazines with them in it only to find out now as adults that these people were being tortured for our entertainment.

Both things are true at once. The human experience especially when it involves abuse and trauma is incredibly complicated. I can be so terribly sad that this all happened to him because I care about the celebrity version of Drake I loved as a kid while also side eyeing adult Drake in case he himself is now in the darkness and hurting other people. We are complicated enough to feel multiple things at once people get it together.

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Reblog this if it’s okay to DM you and shoot the friendship shot.

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Ok if I’ve ever written “his eyes lit up when he smiled” this is EXACTLY what I meant.

JACOB ELORDI Behind the scenes of The Mortuary Collection (2019)

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Rage

What are the different types of anger?

I bet I have felt them all.

When I try to line them all up from biggest to smallest, why do I want to scream HURT! Hurt is the worst!

Like a child who is jumping up and down, arm raised, so sure they have the answer only to have their teacher tell them “No, not quite,” and move to ask someone else.

But just now, I started writing about rage because I was so certain I was

INFURIATED, VENGEFUL, ENRAGED.

Like an over full hot air balloon, shooting up too fast into space

Fire ablaze with feelings I didn’t ask for.

That I don’t deserve.

But as I begin to level out and sit, floating among the stars,

Why do I feel so hurt?

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Also there’s this.

um hello??????? HELLO?????

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I love it when my fever dreams slide out of my smooth brain and manifest themselves into my feed

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Ok I originally thought that Barry asked Jacob out of nowhere to grab his coffee and did the orange peel theory on him which we all know ADORABLE but after watching the full interview, Jacob offered to grab it like 3-4 times after they were joking about it before Barry flat out asked.

Saltburn Conversation with Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Archie Madekwe, ...

Maybe I'm very late for this BUT I'm only 5 minutes in and I am not handling how adorable and funny they are AND how Jacob keeps on touching Barry??? Like????

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He looks like he needs someone to cuddle him while he takes a nap

BTS Talk With JACOB ELORDI About Making 'Saltburn' for Prime Video

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Chapter three is up! I’m for sure going to add a chapter four as well because I think that party lap sitting scene would be better from Felix’s perspective.

But let me tell you what this fic has to offer. Why read it? So first we have the boys get drunk and hookup with what I feel like is a lovely smut scene. Then chapter two gives you Felix’s full gay panic with a whole little make-up “what are we?” scene. And finally we have chapter three where I have decided these boys are still loveable idiots. Sure they agreed to keep sleeping together but HOW. No one made any rules or exactly defined the plan and we all know Felix can’t flirt worth a damn. It’s all indirect and subtle and Oliver wouldn’t be able to pick up on subtle if his life depended on it.

So what happens when you give Felix a pretty new toy and make him feel all warm and wanted and pleasured only to keep rejecting him over and over throughout the rest of the week? Do you think he’d show up outside your class, drag you into a nearby closet and face fuck you until you both get off? WELL THEN MAYBE THIS FIC IS FOR YOU ahaha have at it besties and prepare for another one hopefully next weekend.

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I don't know what the fuck they're on but I need me some of that

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Goddamnit. I can’t risk it with trying to find a new job

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”