grimalditeuthis

[grimalditeuthis]

[grimalditeuthis]

my spine goes crack and crunch and these are just the sounds it makes

whenever i look up and down or stretch myself awake

eventually i fear i may lose all my vertebrae

if every little movement keeps on grinding them away

[grimalditeuthis]

thinking about the green grinner...

[grimalditeuthis]

went to sleep with my hair in two plaits woke up with one plait and a missing hairband????

[grimalditeuthis]

well now THAT is uncalled for.

your "beloved mutual" fucking bit me

[grimalditeuthis]

Summary:

As an A&E nurse, Alfie deals with horror everyday, but almost being killed by a walking corpse and being saved by a vampire takes things a bit far, even for him. The vampire is Casper. He’s hundreds of years old, and hell-bent on finding out what's causing walking corpses to wander the streets of Alfie's hometown.

Now they've met, Alfie and Casper can't seem to leave each other alone, despite their best efforts. Alfie learns that the relationship between vampires and humans is more complicated than just predator and prey. Whatever Casper's misgivings about his own kind, and himself, Alfie is inexorably drawn closer and closer, in a heady, carnal blend of horror, hunger, love and lust.

Not Quite Dead is a (mostly) single narrator gory horror romance audio drama exploring themes of identity, sexuality and death. Totalling 40 episodes over 3 completed seasons, with S4 on the way in 2025.

This show is part of the Rusty Quill Network, and is created independently by Eira Major (AKA Hanging Sloth) who writes, sound designs, and performs as Alfie and Neige.

[grimalditeuthis]

went to sleep with my hair in two plaits woke up with one plait and a missing hairband????

[grimalditeuthis]

i love the word lagomorph because it sounds like it’s supposed to mean something alien or unnatural but it’s just. buny

[grimalditeuthis]

a village child tried to cut my beard today with scissors. naturally I destroyed him with lightning and sonic boom. now his parents are saying I "overreacted". well guess what is coming to them next. that's right it's lightning sonic boom.

[grimalditeuthis]

the hotel has an on demand section called “mood” & these are the moods

[grimalditeuthis]

the hotel has an on demand section called “mood” & these are the moods

[grimalditeuthis]

I think my favorite shenanigan that the leverage gang pulls is when they discover that a mark has some entirely tangential fixation and they immediately latch on to the opportunity to nettle him in a devastatingly laser-targeted way. not even related to the con just for personal fulfillment.

like oh, you’ve spent weeks obsessing over what type of wood to use for your new house? whoopsies! looks like somebody just canceled your custom flooring order! gosh, how weird is that?

oh, you’re really attached to the moniker you use to strike fear in your victims & colleagues? hope you don’t mind if we get your associates to start mocking it for the entire episode and ensure it gets written down wrong in your FBI files.

you slap your name on every invention you steal because you’re obsessed with name recognition? well parker’s going to invent six new ways to mispronounce it and make sure everybody you speak to gets it wrong for the (very short) remainder of your career.

they truly are just psychologically tormenting people for the hell of it and I love that for them

[grimalditeuthis]

there never was a forest on saint sasha

(anyways listen to myth sides 1 & 2 by the narcissist cookbook)

[grimalditeuthis]

the progression of the letters U -> V -> W feels like a pokemon evolution line

[grimalditeuthis]

[grimalditeuthis]