grolloman

[grolloman]

A team of seven was sent to capture the princess. It was a dirty move in what was sure to be a dirty war, but the princess was near the frontlines, and their spies had learned there was a small chance that she could be snatched. When one or the other side sued for peace, she would be an important bargaining chip, if she wasn't simply ransomed.

In spite of encountering next to no resistance, three of the seven men died during the mission. One was kicked by a horse when it spooked, another fell during their race through the woods and snapped his neck, and the third was shot with a crossbow when they returned to their side of the war, a case a friendly fire.

The princess had been utterly impassive through all of it, from the very moment they'd yanked her from her carriage. She had shown no expression on her face when they'd gagged her. She hadn't so much as flinched when a man fell to the ground with a crossbow bolt in his neck.

She'd been placed under armed guard in one of the tents, then the next day, brought further into the kingdom, away from the war and to the seat of power.

The same man who'd been in charge of the team who had taken her, Kipling, had accompanied the wagon to the castle to give his report.

Kipling watched as one of the guards keeled over for no discernable reason. They had stopped and tried to revive him, but there was no gleam of life in his eyes and no pulse in his veins.

The princess had watched, not seeming to find it interesting.

Kipling didn't mention the deaths in his report to the king. They made his team seem incompetent. He didn't mention that another of his team had died of food poisoning the morning before the princess left camp. He did mention that he would need to recruit more people, and that the princess had been behaving oddly.

Later that night, having washed his hands of the princess, he went to a tavern to drink himself stupid. He passed out in an alley on his way home, and when someone tried to steal the shoes off his feet, he made to fight back and got a knife in the stomach for his trouble. He wasn't identified until much later, at which point a pattern was becoming very clear.

[grolloman]

GO TO YOUR FAVORITE SEARCH ENGINE AND TYPE "PUPPIES" AND GO TO THE IMAGES TAB TRUST ME!!!

[grolloman]

[grolloman]

Human Pet Guy is actually just a natural extreme in the evolution of a fetish porn author b/c it's a very well know fact that if you write a lot of fetish porn, you will inevitably end up writing a story that is basically "Fetish World: the World where everyone does my Fetish" and that's all fun and games but if you're a huge nerd (likely) you'll probably end up asking yourself how Fetish World could even be possible when obviously it would be impossible in the current sociopolitical order so now you're walking through all the political and economic changes that would be possible to enable Fetish World and before you know it you've spent way more time on worldbuilding than you have on writing the actual porn. Cybersmith simply takes this one step further. He thought through all the steps needed to make Fetish World possible and then decided those steps made enough sense that he would go out of his way to advocate for the creation of Fetish World in real life which is, and I really cannot emphasize this enough, completely fucking insane. It's such a funny concept honestly like imagine if someone read a bunch of Omegaverse fanfic and then went on Shark Tank to pitch them on bioengineering men who can get ass pregnant

[grolloman]

Weird when you first start paying attention to animal noises and realize they don't actually sound like the words we use

[grolloman]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[grolloman]

From this guy

[grolloman]

Mother and child training longsword in Chile, at the Centro Esgrima Histórica

[grolloman]

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

[grolloman]

Always a good time to burn down yet another village!

Patreon

[grolloman]

[grolloman]

Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot

[grolloman]

Gatekeeping is so good and important

[grolloman]

shoutout to whoever stole my amazon package containing nothing but a single pair of shoelaces.

[grolloman]

[grolloman]

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

[grolloman]

Green eyes shouldn’t actually be considered an eye color. It’s just not common enough, it’s a VERY SMALL percentage of the population, 1-2%. Green eyes are also caused by an irregular mutation. Most people have blue or brown eyes, so those are the two eye colors.

All the “green eyes” positivity is actually a bad thing, by the way. Having green eyes is linked to higher rates of retinal melanoma. You’re celebrating something dangerous that can cause suffering.

And besides, most people with “green eyes” lean closer to blue or brown anyways. They should just make up their minds and be brown eyed or blue eyed. And if it’s too hard to tell, they should get corrective surgery (because green eyes are dangerous, and associated with more difficult medical care!) or at the least wear contacts so they don’t confuse people. But also they should be required to

I hate to sound like this, but green eyes are a far more recent development than blue eyes in the mutagenic history of humans. So humans weren’t created to have green eyes.

And hazel eyes? Those are just a variant of brown eyes—come on, they’re far closer to brown than green. They just have a couple greenish traits. And there’s no way there’s that many green eyed people, or a wide variety of eye colors… It’s just not natural.

I don’t have a problem with green eyed people, they didn’t ask to be born that way—but there’s just too few of them for it to be an actual eye color. We don’t need all this “green eye positivity” or putting green eyes in media. The internet is making people delude themselves into thinking it’s more common than it really is.

‼️ THIS POST IS ABOUT THE TREATMENT OF INTERSEX PEOPLE ‼️

✅ I HAVE GREEN EYES THIS IS SATIRE ✅

⚠️ PLEASE DON’T SEND ME ANY MORE THREATS OF VIOLENCE IN DEFENSE OF PEOPLE WITH GREEN EYES?? ⚠️

💧 THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT EYE COLOR?? IT’S ABOUT INTERSEXISM AND BIGOTRY 💧