groovy-rat-man

[groovy-rat-man]

He intrigues me

[groovy-rat-man]

Oh my GOD calm DOWN

[groovy-rat-man]

Even though you're a filthy fuckin cheater, I still love ya😭!

[groovy-rat-man]

“ azizam ” — amir (date everything) ~1.4k words

tldr bc i’m too lazy for a proper description; amir loves you more than himself (shockingly) and fucks you in front of a mirror to prove it!

cw :: smut, mdni !, p in v, no protection, prob ooc i haven’t played this sorrz, cunnilingus (he’s a munch), afab reader, body worship, genitalia referred to w/ female pronouns

a/n :: i’ve written smut on ao3 once before (ironically also mirror sex) but i’m an amateur writer so don’t expect too much, alsooooo i’m gonna use the nicknames he uses in the game (azizam & dear) + one other persian term. i’m not persian so if any corrections are needed plz tell me! okok ill stop now, enjoy!! also i didnt proofread

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getting sent glasses that allowed you to speak to inanimate objects in your home was still a concept you were accommodating to.

the attention was certainly new. even outside of your home, you didn’t relish in any compliments you might off-handedly receive. you were average. you’d accepted this as a fact of life years ago.

some objects were nicer than others, some flirtier…or meaner. in a way, you almost preferred the meaner ones. the honesty was much easier to digest, no second guessing needed. the flirting made you feel as if you needed maggie by your side every second to decipher it. who was genuine, who was just trying to get into your pants, who was saying it because that’s just how they were?

so, needless to say you were quite surprised when you aimed skylar’s beams at your bathroom mirror and was met with amir. a beyond beautiful persian man. his lusciously thick black hair fell to his shoulders, which really only made you wonder if you needed to invest in more expensive shampoo.

plus, his eyes. god, his eyes. any time you stared at them for even more than a second, it was as if you’d spawned on a beach right as a tsunami had started to pull the waves back. yet, the disaster called to you. the storm pulled you back with the waves rather than striking the fear of god in you. his eyes the color of the storm clouds, of murky deep water.

but that was weeks ago.

he’d confessed his love to you officially only two days ago. not that he ever tried to hide it.

you aim skylar’s beams at the mirror and amir appears with a larger-than-life smile on his face. having just gotten out of the shower, a towel was wrapped around your body tightly. you almost just wanted to see what amir would have to say.

“ah, eshgham! you look especially dazzling today.” he pouts his lips slightly, taking in your form with a finger to his mouth. “you’ve even taken my recommendation on what colors suit you.” he smiled at the realization. he was blunt, but it came from a good place. you knew that by now.

“i did. i’ve stepped up my game, right?”

“more than that, azizam. i’m shocked you have yet to receive a call to be on the cover of a magazine.” amir was always gentle with his words when it came to you. even the harshest criticisms were delivered softly. you could appreciate someone like that.

you laughed at the idea of that even happening. with him still in front of you, you reach for your blow dryer.

“you’re a charmer, amir, truly.” taking amir’s compliments seriously had always been quite difficult for you. he always wanted to help you look your best, because that’s when he looked his best. he reflects what he sees.

you notice something different in his gaze today, something that makes your skin buzz. buzz as if you’d taken five shots of vodka without a chaser.

“i reflect what i see, dear.” he stepped towards you, taking the blow dryer out of your hand and placing on the sink countertop. “must i prove my affections another way?”

your heart flutters, hands coming up to clutch your bath towel. a soft, nearly inhumanely soft hand comes to your cheek. it tingles your skin like a sparkler, goosebumps rising at every small brush.

a shaky breath escaped your parted lips. “please do.”

“we’re begging now, dear? no need. whatever you need, it’s yours.” with that, amir’s lips dropped to yours, grazing against them ever so softly. your hands found purchase on his chest, his kiss quickly turning bruising.

the porcelain of the sink pressed up against your lower back, sending a shiver down your body. amir’s hands make quick work of your bath towel. the damp fabric hit the tile with a soft thud.

you shuddered at the cold air hitting your body. of course, amir has to pull away to admire you. his hands go just about anywhere they can reach. his lips part, but he doesn’t speak. it’s like he’s awestruck. at a loss for words.

his hand grazes over your breast, causing a shudder to rack through your body. the way he pinches your pert peak has you starting to pant.

before you know it, you’re on top of the counter. amir starts to suckle at your peak, looking up at you whenever he grants you with soft kitten licks. his other hand massaged the opposite breast.

he’s beyond turned on. partly because he’s mirroring you and partly because he’s so in awe of how perfect you are. when you’d moved into this house, he’d felt like an utter creep every time you’d look at yourself in the mirror bare.

now, he got to appreciate this bare form as much as he liked.

“ah, azizam, azizam.” he pants out against your breast, kissing and sucking at the flesh. he pecks his way down your body, kneeling down a bit more until he reaches your mons.

“she’s beautiful, eshgham. it looks like she wants me just as intensely as i desire her.” his thumb grazes up your slit, finding your bud almost immediately. he thumbs at it for a moment as he lifts your legs over his shoulders.

a stripe is licked up your folds, making it nearly impossible to keep any sounds quiet. you wanted to sincerely apologize to every object in the house for every sound you knew you were about to make.

he moans against you, licking and tonguing at every inch of your mound he could reach. his eyes are closed for most of it, until he decides to look at you. those beautiful mercury eyes are hooded, pupils blown out.

“eyes on me, azizam.”

you did as he said, not looking away as his tongue started to do circles around your clit. your jaw went slack, sounds beyond what could be described as lewd leaving your lips.

it doesn’t take long until you’re grasping at his hair and warning him you’re extremely close.

“amir…amir!” you cry out his name as you finish. all he does is smile with affection as he laps at you. for a moment, you got scared that you had ripped out a chunk of his hair. luckily, his beautiful waves were safe.

he stood up, hips between your legs. “i want you to see how beautiful you look when you come for me.” amir’s voice was a whisper as he picked you up and turned your back toward him.

you heard him undressing behind you, not to mention you could see him in the mirror. his body, like the rest of him, was undoubtedly perfect.

he wasted no time as he slid his cock into you with ease, bottoming out with a heavy groan. “ah, aziz-e delam.” the words were practically a whimper into your shoulder. he kissed over the birth marks there. his hips stuttered into your wetness, your warmth transferring all the way to his face and reddening his cheeks.

your hands gripped the counter in front of you, throbbing around amir’s cock as it slid in and out of you.

amir was a confident man, that was a fact that couldn’t be denied by you or any other object in the house, but that confidence wilted the moment he saw your parted lips and dazed face in the mirror.

“oh, azizam. you feel incredible.” his eyes met yours in the mirror, and he reached up to hold your jaw so you could see your face as well. “absolutely gorgeous.”

you wanted to respond to his words, but the way he was pressing up against your cervix with every thrust had you unable to speak.

you intentionally clenched around him, causing his hips to stutter. “ah, azizam…!” he moaned out, his large hands gripping your hips tightly. his thrusts got sloppier, his sounds got louder. you knew he was close. “can i finish inside, dear? tell me no if you must.” he murmured his words against her shoulder, trying to control himself.

you bit your lip, thinking over your answer. well, no. you didn’t actually have to think much about it. “god, yes.”

amir didn’t need any more convincing. with a breathy groan, the both of you came at the same time. he whimpered your name as he came inside you, kissing up your neck gently.

you panted, heart stuttering as you relished in the afterglow of it all. amir leaned to whisper in your ear.

“âsheghetam.”

[groovy-rat-man]

Another one of my fucking wisdom teeth is coming in

[groovy-rat-man]

Hi everyone! Here's your Daily Reminder to Click for Palestine!

And if you can spare a dollar, donate to ANERA!

[groovy-rat-man]

Jerking off is incest

Sometimes I feel like you guys say things because you're bored

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here have this picture i made and forgot about until now

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DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW I GET TO THIS????

I KEEP GOING TO THE BREAKER BOX TO TRY AND SEE HIM PERFORM BUT IT'S JUST JOHNNY SPLASH FUCK JOHNNY SPLASH AND HONESTLY FUCK EDDIE AND VOLT IM NOT HERE FOR YALL I WANNA SEE MY BF ON STAGE!!!!!!

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God I waste so so much of my time

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RATS FROM KATAMARI DAMACY

[groovy-rat-man]

Please reblog for larger sample size :)

[groovy-rat-man]

Best Player Home Tournament: Round 1

Capping off our (very brief) round one, we have a three-way poll between two manors and a hall. Only one will move on to round two!

Severin Manor is the only home in Skyrim to not be in Skyrim! It's located in Raven Rock on the island of Solstheim. It's unique in a number of other ways- spouses and children can't live there, there's no housecarl, it comes fully furnished, and it's entirely free, given as a quest reward for Served Cold.

Proudspire Manor, in contrast, is the most expensive home in Skyrim, being 25,000 gold even before you buy any upgrades! It's located in Solitude, right by the Blue Palace, and is an enormous house, having two stories and a basement with plenty of rooms on each floor.

Vlindrel Hall is located in Markarth, the City of Stone. It's carved into the mountains, giving it a very unique feeling compared to other homes. I've heard some complaints about the stone beds, but maybe they're good for your back.

[groovy-rat-man]

Best Player Home Tournament: Round 1

Breezehome is, statistically speaking, the first Skyrim home you ever had. It's the cheapest home too, on account of being the smallest, but that doesn't have to be a point against it- maybe it's cozier that way. It's located right in the middle of Whiterun, making it conveniently near anything you could want in the city. Heljarchen Hall is the third Hearthfire home, mostly identical to the others. It has a grain mill to distinguish it, and a nice location in Dawnstar hold, near the border of Whiterun.

[groovy-rat-man]

Best Player Home Tournament: Round 1

Starting off with some fixer-uppers! Hjerm is a home available in Windhelm after you complete Blood on the Ice, getting rid of the serial killer who was previously using it as a hideout. Aside from its grisly history, it's a lovely home; it's large, well-furnished, and comes with a secret room behind a bookcase. Lakeview Manor, meanwhile, doesn't exist until you build it! It's identical to the other two Hearthfire homes in most ways except location; It's in Falkreath's woods, and, as the name implies, has a nice view of Lake Ilinalta. Its other unique feature is its apiary.

[groovy-rat-man]

Told my 5yo sister that im turning 20 in 5 days and she gasped and said "you're gonna be an old man soon 😄!!"

[groovy-rat-man]

After recently becoming a vegetarian, Cori has found herself in a bit of a pickle. It used to be easy for her to find a decent lunch spot in downtown billings, but now that she’s investigating the menus a little deeper, she’s discovering there’s meat in almost all of her favorite foods.

Things are looking up when Cori catches sight of a vegan hot dog stand, but her enthusiasm also prompts a terrible car crash that sends her rushing to the hospital. Fortunately, one of these plant-based sausages is the best doctor in Billings… and she knows exactly what Cori’s body needs.

This erotic tale is 4,000 words of sizzling human on sentient hot dog action and living plant-based sausage love.

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please enjoy new tingler THIS LESBIAN HOT DOG GETS ME OFF ALSO SHE IS A DOCTOR ALSO SHE IS VEGAN out now here or on true buckaroo tier patreon