groovygalaxydragon

[groovygalaxydragon]

Debating with myself how long my next fast is gonna be....

[groovygalaxydragon]

Ate waaaaaaaay to much yesterday and would love to fast today, but I feel soooo hungry... And even hangry... Worst mood ever ...

[groovygalaxydragon]

Weigh in today was ok... Lost 500g ... Didn't make it to the next kg though... But afterwards I was looking in my journal and saw that I'm the lowest I've been in over 12 years... All in all I lost 26kg since my hw, pregnancy weight not counted... Yay me....

[groovygalaxydragon]

Broke my fast at 67hrs, couldn't go longer... Felt sad but it was ok... Been eating almost like a normal person and kept an loosing... So obviously I will either pig out today or be a good girl and gain tomorrow... I'm kinda hopeful i'm wrong, but a part of me knows how this is gonna go, because.. well history repeats itself...

On the bright side I was able to talk to a diabetes researcher and got some questions answered about insulin and fasting... 🥳 Yay...

Aaand I think i'm making progress with my inner fat child, she is know talking to me again... Let's see if this really helps (was a tip from my psychiatrist)

[groovygalaxydragon]

65hrs and i feel so damn weak ... Having a headache and my overall condition is NOT good, did absolutely not sleep well and only lost 300g 🙈 fighting with myself if I break my fast 18 hrs early... I really don't want to treat my body badly but at same time I keep thinking "oh come on, you're sooo close ... Only 24 more little hours"...

[groovygalaxydragon]

Stupid brain... Telling me to eat NOW! 😒 Drama queen

[groovygalaxydragon]

47 hrs and 47 minutes... Had a cup of broth for lunch... Feel good but at the same time I'm sooo scared that it threw my metabolism out of "fasting mode"...🙈

[groovygalaxydragon]

Made it through breakfast and thaaaaaank god I'm overweight, no one questioned my motives after talking about health benefits and using medical terms...

But it got me thinking, that I will need a strategy for when I'm not overweight anymore... 😐😕 Hope there will be a time where I have to think of that 😔

[groovygalaxydragon]

42hrs in... No hunger, drank a coffee, had some vitamins... Bit scared though, there is a Team-Breakfast at work today... Hope I can make it through without eating... I'm really motivated to get to 80 hrs this time....

[groovygalaxydragon]

30hrs and counting... Still hungry... Shouldn't that be over by now?

[groovygalaxydragon]

16hrs into my fast... Feeling good so far... See if I can make it to 72 hrs 🙈

[groovygalaxydragon]

I've had it... After the second cappuccino and a piece of cake I started a fast... 7 hrs in I feel a little better about myself. Hopefully i'll make it to 80hrs 🙈

[groovygalaxydragon]

Why did I felt the need to treat myself with food?

Why do I always take care of myself with food? Been through that in therapy and I can't find the answer. I don't know why I can't figure out what I felt , I never do ... I feel a binge coming but afterwards I never remember what I felt and why my emotions led me to believe food would be the answer...

[groovygalaxydragon]

Fell down the rabbit hole... Gave in and allowed myself some Pillsbury rolls... 500kcals and they weren't even as good as I remembered... Add 200kcal for the cappuccino... My mind is a dark place right know... Haven't had a good day and now it's even worse...

[groovygalaxydragon]

Sitting outside, the day is over, no one is talking on the street, just the sound of the occasional car driving by, in my hand a cold glas filled with coke zero and the light clanking of ice cubes when I put my glas on the table. Loving the warm season....

[groovygalaxydragon]

Managed to stay below calorie-limit... But was able to enjoy a coffee with ice-cream! Skipped dinner and been able to not snack although red wine and the prosciutto is laying infront of me. Feeling pretty strong right know... And a bit cold....

[groovygalaxydragon]

Counting calories the next day... Worst thrill in a long long time 😐