grossewstop - Tumblr blog

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I want to apologise to

- Britney for making fun of her when she had her breakdown

- Monica Lewinski for judging her when she was a 22year old temp sexually assaulted by the most powerful man in the world

- Ke$ha for ever thinking she was trashy when all she wanted to do was make party music

- Kristen Stewart for ever thinking she was dumb when she’s actually one of the coolest people ever

- Megan Fox for ever thinking she was just a slut when actually she was an actress being harassed by her employer. 

- Hating all the women who made a career out of having a hot body. Being is shape is hard, beauty is a weapon and auto promotion is hard work. 

- All the Mary-Sues, who exist because young girls everywhere want to be part of a story they love so much

- All the female characters I ever snobbed because they got in the way of my ship.

- Hating the color pink during my teenage years, when it’s actually a lovely color and what I resented was society’s pressure to perform femininity. 

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𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅***𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 !!!

𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘴 -  “ you can think you’ve run away from something. but actually, you’ve been carrying it with you the whole time. ”

𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 -  “ why is that the more you have to say, the harder it is to speak? ” 

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘴 -  “ it’s strange, when someone’s very important and you haven’t seen them for a long time, as soon as you do, it’s easier to breathe. ”

𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘰𝘧-𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘰𝘧-𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 -  “ sometimes, everything is suddenly really simple. it’s like everything shifts in a moment. and you step out of your body, out of your life. you step out and you see where you are really clearly. you see yourself. and you think… fuck. this. shit. ”

𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘬*** 𝘺𝘰𝘶 -  “ sometimes he feels like a boy I could love. like, really love & other times, he feels like a total fucking stranger. ”

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we are already living in the cyberpunk future and i know this because within a span of 3 days we went from this tweet:

to thousands of people making phony images and replying to them with their passionate desire to have them as a tshirt to overload the bots with nonsense and junk and send out warnings to shoppers like this:

and now we even have people replying to pictures of baby yoda with “i want this on a tshirt” knowing how ravenous disney is being with copyright in hopes to get the stores taken down altogether

i dont know what it is about stuff like this and the whole turn mei into a symbol of hk protesters thing but, its really reassuring for some reason

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My brother told me his concept for a movie script… So its Alvin and the Chipmunks but its set like 10 years after their fame. Alvin is having a lot of issues with being a chipmunk because of their short life span..he starts playing records slowed down to listen to what his voice would sound like if he were a human…. (Also Dave is now played by Bruce Campbell.) They’re getting old and tired of their act and they’re not doing as well as they used to. Theodore starts coughing really bad during one of their performances at a sketchy dive bar and they have to take him to the vet. The vets all like “Well, they’re chipmunks Dave. Im surprised they’ve lived this long.” Dave learns that he will inherit all of their money once they die. He basically keeps it on the DL and limits their spending so he can have max cash. Alvin finds out and he’s FURIOUS. He’s like “YOU NEVER CARED ABOUT US!! Not even Theodore…” He solemnly looks at the shoebox buried in the yard. This starts a rivalry and even though they’re still in character, they want to kill each other now. Its like home alone traps except with knives and stuff. Bruce Campbell Dave gets a harpoon gun though and Alvin starts a fire. Simon goes “ALVIN…WERE TAKING THIS TOO FAR! Im going to try to stop him!!!” He runs downstairs to talk Dave out of wanting to fight and is pinned to the wall with the harpoon..killing him instantly. Alvin screams NOOOOO!!! The fire gets bigger and eventually traps both Alvin and Dave. They settle their differences when they’re all like “So this is it…..” The house is engulfed in flames. End movie.

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irl kin drama

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Things I want in the next 5 years

- a stable job that i love

- enough money to live comfortably and travel

- a fulfulling relationship

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ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

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dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

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me n the girls walkin into target headed straight to the clearance bread rack

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I just CANT shut up baby!!!!!!! I’m absolutely FULL of STUPID and simply MUST share it with the world!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i keep remembering this awful no good image and it makes me start honking 

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A Quiet Place (2018) dir. John Krasinski

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if im gonna be famous i want to be flo rida famous. this man has three billboard hot 100 #1 hits and no one can name a single thing about him except for the fact that he is from florida. no annoying stans, no controversy. just radio friendly bops. this is the type of cryptic celebrity status i wish to achieve. he just pops up once every few years makes a hit song then goes back to wrestling alligators or recounting elections…..or whatever it is that floridians even do. he allegedly has a net worth of $30 million dollars and i dont even know what he looks like. has anyone ever seen a picture of this man??? no. can anyone of you even tell me his real name without googling it first??? no. all we truly know is that he likes them apple bottom jeans and the boots with the fur that she had on but we dont even know what HE was wearing in that situation do we??? this man has the right idea i respect you flo rida i really do

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