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Karin Hosono aka かりん 細野 (Japanese, b. 2002, Sagamihara City, Kanagawa Prefecture, Japan) - Arakawa なつ(Summer), Paintings: Oil on Canvas
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shoutout to the people currently in saw traps. you’re gonna make it out of this. unless you’re morally impure or otherwise unworthy of surviving ☺️
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I couldn’t date a tsundere because she’d say something like “I don’t even like you! Hmph!” and then I would run directly in front of the nearest car
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you dig a really good grave, a perfect hole, and you call it art. and it is. it’s beautiful.
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should have just stuck with asshole men that you don't really love because at least you can be something that they are satisfied with, thats easy, just have to be a piece of meat and be agreeable and they'll be content. maybe that way at least you can feel good enough, even if you feel like a liar and a cunt while you do it. so done. so fucking tired.
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i tried so hard. its never enough. my best is just not enough. i don't know whats really keeping me here. i think i must just exist to be used until I'm used up and just annoying, just in the way. too slow. too quiet. i hate myself. I'm sick of myself. i was always just pretending i could be anything more than a waste of fucking space. i really want to give up.
#but also i really really really don't. i don't want that. if we both give up then its over and i really dont want it to be over.#i have nothing else. and i love her. i can't keep feeling like this but i cant give up i love her and so i dont know what the fuck to do#we were so close. this is so stupid. so fucking miserable
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UAAARGH. life is so shit. i am so stupid and small and stagnant. I'm nothing at all. if i give up i have nothing. she's all ive cared about for a year straight and the pinnacle most important thing i kept in my heart for over a decade, if i give up now, theres nothing. and theres nothing even to blame it on, this could be fine, i just suck. i knew i always knew id be fooling myself to think id ever be good enough. or enough of anything at all. I'm stupid, and I'm nothing, and i cant see this ending any other way than returning to my nothingness. its gonna be so lonely. but it already is. I'm nothing at all. pissed off and miserable and its the same stupid stupid shit it always is. just not good enough. not enough of anything at all.
#I'm trying to wait this out but it doesnt seem to be going anywhere. maybe I'm just insufferable. i wish i could just fizzle out#just fade away for good. get so small and so nothing that whatevers keeping me corporeal finally gives and lets me disappear completely#hate myself so much. i think i should leave. but it's terrifying should she not ask for me to come back. im not ready to give up.#i dont know why she's so adamant on doing so.#Miserable. angry and miserable and nothing.
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The sign on the shelf says, “This is heaven and we’re all dead!“ Either way, prove it for yourself with Books of the Dead.
Source details and larger version.
Here’s my gallery of unusual imagery from vintage college yearbooks.
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de chirico painting made for a magazine competition i found in a weird pdf but cant find anywhere else. he suffered from extreme migraines
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this is what happens when you put me on google docs with speciesfeels & no filter to bad poetry btw
note: 'man' is gender neutral here + this is meant to be read either side on its own or together
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The iconic Windows XP 'Bliss' desktop wallpaper shown above in 2001 and below in more recent years. location: Sonoma, California, USA
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