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the key to posting porn in the censorship age is just getting really into something not even recognizable as sex at all and posting about that. like forklifts or wires or surgery.

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editing is just you vs. past-you in a duel of questionable comma placement and emotional instability

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I had a very young kid with a hereditary heart condition come in today to be seen. My colleague excitedly told him that I play “that ‘dungeons and dragons’ game just like you do!”

The kid deadpans me with “I DM for 8 people who keep splitting the party, I think that’s why I’m really here.”

Relatable, kid, relatable.

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*points at the waiter* your soul is uniquely sick

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people talk about the weirdness of seeing school friends get married and have kids but its even crazier when its online friends. like bro i've seen your carrd kin list. we went to homestuck together. brothers in chronically online arms. what do you MEAN youre pregnant.

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I need y'all to watch this clip

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Go to a furry convention dressed as an 18th century fur trapper. Longrifle, jawtraps, chains, fur hat, big coat made of sewn-together pelts of different polyester neons...

[guess-who-faux]

observation: among a certain subset of tumblr users, the term “blorbo” has become unchic, but the concept it describes is still important; and so it has been replaced with “The Character”

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Anyone else just getting bombarded by Tumblr with the “men’s sexual functioning and confidence” ad that has an illustration (presumably AI generated?) of a torso with a dick seeming to erupt out of the middle of its upper abdominal muscles, curve down, and then disappear into a very, let’s say, Georgia O’Keeffe style opening (!) on that same torso but that is located for some reason right between the hips and above a super smooth Ken doll groin? Just me? I’m the lucky one? Ok.

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Five asexuals are playing cards.

One starts to explain the rules: 

I’d say no cheating, but there are already five aces at the table.

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What the fuck.

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my love for plain white rice is intense and unhealthy AMA

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Some of you guys have never burned a CD and it shows

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so many fat disgusting perverts on this website that tragically keep it secret. i love u & i cant rlly say more w/o sounding really nsfw but please be assured that ppl are sexually attracted to you not "dispite" your [ insert gross traits here ] but are attracted to you more becahse of them