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The idea that Talia only helped Jason as a gift to Bruce comes directly from Ra’s al Ghul and it’s just him being a misogynist so the fact that so many people in fandom just uncritically agree with this assessment is kinda crazy
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‘Jason goes to Gotham and kills the Joker himself’ ‘Jason asks Talia to kill the Joker and she does so as a token of trust and good parentage’ NO Jason won’t stop fucking whining about how Batman won’t kill the Joker and how unfair it is and Ra’s gets so annoyed listening to him that he bumps Joker off himself just to get his daughter’s new pet project to shut the fuck up
Batman has no idea why halfway through a standard Joker special of glitter, guns, and ‘im going to blow up this bank!’ fucking Ra’s Al Ghul himself stormed into the room, looked incredibly annoyed to even be there, snapped the Joker’s neck in one fell swoop, and then stormed back out and disappeared while angrily muttering something about how ‘we better be able to finish this fucking meeting in peace now- swear to fucking GOD that boy is annoying-‘
he’s honestly so baffled at Ra’s appearing in Gotham in the first place that he doesn’t manage to save the Joker, and Ra’s refuses to even acknowledge any attempts at asking why the fuck he decided to do that. it becomes Gotham’s greatest mystery, and Ra’s doesn’t realise until he gets back home that he just made the biggest mistake of his life; teaching Jason that whining about his problems will lead Ra’s to take care of them for him.
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actually can we have Tim not being adopted into the batfamily and instead after his parents go broke and then die leaving him with nothing he just decides ‘well i know where the batcave is’ and starts living in the tunnels underneath Wayne manor because of the logic that he can’t get kicked out bcs 1. squatters rights and 2. whats Bruce gonna do? call the police and say ‘this guy won’t leave my secret lair. no im not Batman wdym’? and he manages to go unnoticed for like. a good fucking while. not even Alfred realises bcs wtf would he be snooping around down there for?
even better is this happens after Jason dies so Tim still becomes Robin and Bruce is so overwhelmed with grief that he literally never realises that Tim has never once used the front door to come over. he just kinda sneaks up from somewhere in the cave. he assumes that Alfred’s letting the kid in without telling him. Alfred assumes Bruce is doing the same.
Damian finds out first because that’s so much funnier. he gets to Gotham to 1. gain his birthright and meet his father and 2. do some reconnaissance/avenging of this replacement Robin that’s been the centre of Jason’s angry rants at the league for the past 6 months. he follows Tim ‘home’ and finds him fucking. golluming it up a 15 minute hike through the cave system and he’s like. wait what.
Damian, reporting back to Jason: Drake is a mole.
Jason, vindicated: like he’s working for the enemy?!
Damian, standing in front of an indignant Tim in the middle of his ‘camp’, phone pressed to his ear: no like he lives in a fucking tunnel.
Jason:
Tim, mumbling: slightly harsh,
Damian, angling his face away from the phone momentarily: i watched you dig a hole to unearth the protein bars you’d buried there.
Tim:
Jason, rapidly changing his opinion on this kid: ok actually lets not kill him because thats fucking hysterical and i want to know more-
Tim really likes living alone in the tunnels because he’s a weird little guy and he’s gotten used to the independence and lack of sun, and Damian grew up in the league where ‘wilderness training’ was monthly, mandatory, and from the age of three. so he really doesn’t see the issue in it. he just kinda shrugs and accepts his brother lives in the cave system. Jason is so delighted and amused by the vibes these two kids have going on over in Gotham (he gets video calls from Damian just. in Tim’s camp while they hang out together sometimes. Damian brings him water bottles and various sustenance offerings like he’s appealing so some ancient deity living under their house. Jason thinks it’s incredible) that he decides fuck the league, he needs to see this in person. killing the Joker is a side quest he did on the way; he really only came to see what his idiot little brothers had going on under Bruce, Dick and Alfreds nose. he visits Tim’s little cave home while waiting for his new Crime Alley apartment to be ready.
eventually Bruce and Dick are working on a case and they’re following a lead to do with a criminal escaping via cave systems that they theorise may connect to the batcave, so after Damian’s gone to bed they suit up and start searching around. they come across Damian, Tim, and the fucking Red Hood chilling around a small fire just casually eating leftovers Damian snuck down from the kitchen, just quietly enjoying each others presence in this clearly years old campsite, quietly discussing whether or not the weather will be clear enough next week to go to the new art museum together. Dick shines a flashlight at them and they all snap to attention like that scene in ratatouille where the human comes in the kitchen and the rats all freeze and look up. nobody says anything for a solid three minutes.
eventually Tim is just like “I have squatters rights. you can’t evict me.” and Red Hood nods and points at him.
Bruce, desperate to gain some kind of thread of understanding here: “Damian, you’re supposed to be in bed. …Tim, I’m actually not sure where you’re supposed to be, come to think of it, but I don’t think it’s here.”
“He just said he has squatters rights, father.” Damian responds instantly. “Keep up.”
Dick: “And does the Red Hood have squatters rights?”
“I have a gun,” Jason points out cheerfully. “Same thing, ain’t it?”
Dick and Bruce are so confused they become convinced that they’ve been dosed with something and only figure out whats going on after putting on gas masks and testing everybody’s blood.
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like tell me this isn’t cass, steph, and damian for the girls and jason, tim, and dick for the guys, bored out of their minds hiding in a bathroom at a gala. animators get in here
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if somebody doesn’t animate that ‘come on barbie lets go party’ tiktok trend where the gender roles are reversed into the wayne kids messing about at a gala with steph, cass, and damian doing the man part while jason tim and dick eagerly do the girls bit, SOON, i am going to LOSE MY MIND IT IS LITERALLY PERFECT HOW HAS NOBODY ELSE DONE THAT YET
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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.
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Jon, while trying to ask Damian out and drowning in 'having crush on my best friend hell,' starts gifting Damian pretty rocks.
Every time he finds a pretty stone, he puts it in his pocket, and the next time he sees Damian, he hands them to the boy with no explanation.
Damian, while confused, keeps them like precious treasures. He even gets a display case.
It is only after he watches a documentary about the Antarctic with Cass one night that he understands what's going on.
He calls for the Super immediately, and Jon arrives in minutes with a new blue stone in hand.
"Are you attempting to court me like a penguin?"
"That depends. Is it working?" And offers the new rock gingerly.
"Unfortunately, yes."
Damian has to get a bigger display case because his alien boyfriend decides he needs space rocks, too.
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WARNING: organ trafficking stuff
Sequel to this post
Also inspiration from this fic
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forgot to post these for father’s day yesterday 💔 happy (late) father’s day to world’s okayest father fr
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Dick’s parents falling to their deaths really led him to making “The Flying Graysons” literal, to ensure it never happens again 😭
Well played Mr Grayson. Well Played.


Look I just find it hilarious that the love of the life of the guy whose parents fell to their deaths… can fly! Like you can’t tell me it hasn’t crossed his mind at ALL that he doesn’t have to worry about losing Kory this way!
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Reasons why I think it’s extra fun if the Batkids are majority alphas in an ABO AU
I think the whole “grow up to protect Bruce” mentality is just so interesting esp when applied to Dick.
Like as in: when I grow up imma be an alpha and protect Bruce so he doesn’t have to do “x” and then all those creeps who come up to him as Brucie I’ll finally be able to sock them in the face
It really pays homage to the hole “pay him back for all he’s done for me” thing the robins tend to have
And allows for a really nice dynamic to play out
It’s really nice when paired with Omega!Jason who perhaps as a kid wanted to be an alpha to specifically protect Bruce and this also allows Bruce to really see a reflection of himself in Jason after he gets revived and means a lot more angst in his behalf
It very much plays out similarly to the dynamic single mothers have with their children especially those who come from traumatic backgrounds. The whole she did so much and sacrificed so much for me even if she made mistakes I loved her, thing.
I very much think that’s the dynamic they have normally and an ABO Au with Omega!Bruce would allow for it to be portrayed very explicitly and easily.
Especially when paired with Bruce’s absolute lack of self preservation self worth and confidence. He sacrifices a lot and would likely inflict a lot of damage on himself in the name of his mission to protect others.
Which leads to a rather haunting respect, a rather similar thing felt my children to parents/mothers in an abusive home or single parent home
…lowkey a thought inspired by A coral room in the first of @frownyalfred’s series icl i love that heat scene w baby Jayson being all serious w Bruce just going 😩🥹 baby
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They don't see a reason to interact with their son. The force found a place for him, yet they can't help but watch him grow. They are his parents, after all.
My english was not englishing with that dialogue.
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