gut-shabbos-sluts - Tumblr blog

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personifying fire is nothing new we've been doing it forever. but fire IS a living thing to me.

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barbie princess and the pauper has one of the most casually dangerous settings i have ever seen. The entire castle is surrounded by cliffs that drop for what looks like forever and it’s connected to its kingdom (WHICH IS ALSO ON AN ISLAND OF CLIFFS) by a single, winding path that’s probably about one school bus wide with, you guessed it, what looks like a thousand foot drop of endless mountain hellscape on either side. Every establishing shot showcases the most beautiful, horrifying mountain range in the world. I want to be there so bad

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“oh no, my audience has begun to guess the big twists of my story and are accurately predicting what will happen!”

incorrect response: write the rest of the story to be as twisty, shocking and counter to expectations as possible, regardless of whether this is a logical or satisfying way for the plot to go

correct response:

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cats will be like oh you're walking somewhere? no WE'RE walking somewhere. and i will get there first. where is 'there' btw

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I am a chronic turn signaller. People will be like “there’s no cars around.” Wrong, I’m

1. letting pedestrians know.

2. I’m doing this in case I missed a car or person somewhere, or

2b. I’m gonna be stuck at this intersection til a car or person shows up

3. It makes it a habit

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you are cordially invited to my pretentious son's french new wave-themed bar mitzvah. you may note the ironic tone of his dvar torah and the use of jump cuts in his childhood photos slideshow.

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just jerked off. was nobody going to tell me about that last part with the goop? you guys are freaks for real

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Just want to give her a bigger Clive

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בדיחה לקבוצה של הכיתה אבל זה מרגיש רלוונטי לכאן

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Imagine you’re some little evil woman sitting in Hades’ throne room when Orpheus walks in to make a deal to get Eurydice back, and Hades is like “yeah ok, just don’t look back otherwise she has to stay here” then walks out of the room. Almost immediately after hearing the conditions, Orpheus breaks his own neck so that is is physically impossible for him to turn it, and then demands that you gouge out his eyes for good measure.  Eurydice then gets really upset because she’s convinced this is a sign that Orpheus hates her and never wants to see her again, and Orpheus is completely convinced that this was a normal and logical thing to do.

You are literally the only person in the universe who recognizes this as an act of love. They both then insult you to your face for thinking this is anything other than very normal (Orpheus), or petty hatred (Eurydice).

You are Ianthe Tridentarius.

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shadowheart my beautiful sexy smart emotionally complicated religiously traumatised gf

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Have you reconsidered embracing ceremorphosis?

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guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.