gwenbfresh

[gwenbfresh]

Invisible

Hi, I'm Gwen.

I'm currently in Ontario, Canada, and will return to just north of Tampa, FL, USA, in the middle of November. This year, I'm writing a memoir tentatively titled Invisible.

I recently heard a podcast about narrative psychology where one of the themes was that things that happen to us are fixed, but our story of those things shapes us. The events shape either into stories of overcoming or destruction. The key is where we put the chapter breaks.

I was raised in a popular cult and tried to escape in my teens but returned after being ill-equipped to navigate the world. I became a leader in my cult, or as much of a leader as women were allowed to be.

In my late thirties, I started escaping again, first from an abusive husband, then from the abusive environment, and finally, in my mid-forties, from the abusive ideologies. The last ten years have been spent learning to navigate the world free from the lingering effects of this harmful worldview.

I'm using the title invisible as so much of my journey was about hiding. Either physically hiding from real and perceived dangers or hiding my internal thoughts and desires that did not meet the expectations of the cult. I'm now everything that my cult taught was wrong and spending my time embracing being seen and heard for who I am, not who others think I should be.

My primary goal for the readers of the memoir is two-fold: encouragement, hope, and skills for others with similar stories and as a source for understanding the emotional ties and psychological terror that keep people clinging to ideas that are twisted and harmful. The techniques and skills I've learned from books, mentors, and lots of therapy have helped me develop a life of true love. My cult misused the word love frequently, and the journey to discover true love was an adventure with some painful and strangely funny missteps.

Last year, I succeeded in writing a fictional psychological thriller based loosely on some events in my life, but despite wanting to move forward with that work, it's stayed on my laptop untouched since last year. I hope writing this memoir will unlock whatever keeps me from finishing the thriller.

I'd love to have a writing buddy with a similar passion or story, and I look forward to engaging with others throughout the 2023 NANOWRIMO challenge.