h0tlineking - Tumblr blog

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italian hate crime

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that is what samuel sounds like when he talks to me about food

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did you really just put pepperoni on that pizza instead of minced garlic, sesame seeds, relish, Polish sausage bits, coleslaw, frosting, pasta sauce, potato wedges, a quarter cup of chocolate chips, grilled sport peppers, celery salt, almond extract, mayo, lettuce, cheese, EXTRA ONION, a shot of malort, whole tomato, mustard, pickle spears, and a little hat from Portillo’s?

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no one has loved a person more

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it is his special day in the light of the sun now and it is so beautiful out side just for him

happy birth day to my little angel samuel i am going to sweep him off his feet all day nothing else is real. today is national my husband’s birth day

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respectfully if the rabbit interrupts the birth day date i can not be held accountable for the actions i take immediately following

Thanks and happy birthday human (lesser) sam has anyone given you your birthday punches yet

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happy birth day to my little angel samuel i am going to sweep him off his feet all day nothing else is real. today is national my husband’s birth day

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yeah im gonna skin this thing alive

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i hope your onions caramelize. i hope my onions caramelize. i hope we both sauté our root vegetables to perfection. slow cooked onions in loving pan.

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how old am i these days… geriatric

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he wrote this laying directly next to me in our shared bed because we are a married couple who live in the same house

Realistically I can bother Darrius whenever I want. He's sitting two inches away from me right now- I barely have to move to touch him. He's stuck with me.

But it's still just as fun to bother him digitally on top of it.

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Bats Fact #27

Whole Apple

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let me introduce you to my favorite “minecraft youtuber”…one extremely poggers guy named “jesus of nazareth”

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while i was putting in that tag tumbler recommended me a previous tag i had written which read “oh my goodness he is bald” so that gave me a little chuckle… i guess seals are bald

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This is literally the only tiktok

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Happy fathers day king lets get this bread (the body of christ)

thank you anonymous tumbler user