h96ney - Tumblr blog

[h96ney]

new chapter

its 2022 

i met someone new 

i lost someone too 

[h96ney]

[h96ney]

"I'm so tired" she said

To the static in her mind

"Please let me sleep" she begged

But the static only grew louder.

[h96ney]

[h96ney]

best things happened today. thankyou ieka thankyou esther. i’ll love you guys forever.

love, hanie

[h96ney]

everything i wrote was stupid. 😪

fucking stupid head im gonna kill you

[h96ney]

its friday the 26th of june

730pm

not yet midnight but im already fall into this loop of unfinished words and thoughts.

i couldn’t stop thinking about this since you...

sigh

i couldn’t say this to your face b. you might be thinking that i was literally overthinking everything.

b at this moment all i ever think was..

how unprofessional you’ve treated me. maybe i am your girlfriend so you couldn’t treat me seriously about projects and everything.

i just felt it unfair to me. i mean.. you always do the talking... you wanna do this.. you wanna do that.. youve planned this.. youve planned that.. and ive spent my time and my whole heart just to make sure you always think that i am good enough.

but in the end... its nothing. nothing ever finished b.

youre the first important person after a long time sees me for who i am, for my talents and everything. but this time i couldn’t help it to feel “i will never be good enough”for some things or project or anything you wanna name it to finish.

i almost give up again this time b. just like bfore i met you. i almost gave up everything about music and im on my way to it now.

im never be good enough.. im really sorry.

[h96ney]

today is 19th of june 2020

and the most hurtful thing people said to me today was “talking to you wont solve any of my jobs”

mybe when i love someone too much im being too dependent and people doesn’t like it that way.

i’ll stop. for real

[h96ney]

6th jan 2020

i know ive been a really bad daughter these days. but for fucking sake, i really want to get out of here.

i knew it,my parents set some spy on me. i know it sounds crazy but its not. like, how do they know my grab driver couldn’t send me in front of the house while they’re not at home?

i couldn’t trust those guards either. god i feel like living in a town where i felt so scared to go out just because i know that my parents spying on me.

i feel so trapped. i wanna be free.

i wanna buy my own car, my own house or rent an apartment.

i admit, sometimes i felt so guilty because i know ive hurted them by distancing myself from them. im really sorry mom and dad.

[h96ney]

november 27th2018

this is too painful T.T 

i cried too much

i feel like im going crazy

i want this pain to go far away from me as soon as possible 

how can someone be so cruel

how can someone make promises as easy as they are making tea for lunch.

urgh

i love you way too much

i dont deserve this

you dont deserve me

i hope i can forget about you 

i want to forget about you

i want to move on 

i dont wanna be friends with you anymore

that will be the last time i texted you.

you wont find me

you wont miss me

you will never love me 

you dont deserve a place in my heart

[h96ney]

nov 27th 2018

hello, it has been a long time since the last time i wrote.

its going to be whole night to tell you about everything. 

and yed, what i meant by everything is EVERYTHING..