habeascorpseus

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this has def been done before but idc

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Born in the SMP posts from twitter

pt 2

source

source

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i canoed home from the club

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"you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel" girl i am living that balsamic life, that's the mommy down there at the bottom.

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i like berdley :]

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DONT use glasses, youll become dependent on them to see!!!! #WARONDRUGS #OVERPRESCRIPTION #CORRECTIVELENSADDICTION

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i’m so glad my girl is going to be ok 🥺

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insane how wilson accurately diagnosed house with autism and then the writers decided they didn’t want the responsibility of representation so the next scene is him going “you’re not autistic, you just have every single sign i mentioned!” like ok

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Emo.

They blocked tumblr at my school. Apparently it a “Social Networking” site.. I might drop out of my computer classes now..

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"One guard always lies the other is always wrong, but it comes from an honest place" is a really good bit that was very funny

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the spell worked

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i went to a drag show and one of the acts was Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus

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when i first moved in with my roommate, she was constantly throwing up and attributed it to some unexplainable chronic issue. after a year with me here, she's learned a lot about proper food preparation and storage, as well as having me sort of on top of managing groceries, and she almost never gets sick like that anymore.

anyway i think that woman might be one of a kind but just in case she's not: if you find yourself having frequent tummy troubles with no clear explanation... maybe just. try refreshing your food safety knowledge. (also don't forget to wash your water bottle). like, chances are you've been doing everything right and there's some other reason. but there's a nonzero chance that something you assumed was common sense is actually incorrect and you've been repeatedly making yourself sick.

people think kitchen management is totally easy and intuitive (prolly something to do with it being degraded as "women's work" but i digress) but there's science to food safety. and the people who raised you may have failed to teach you properly, whether through negligence or through not knowing everything themselves. it can't hurt to double check your knowledge here, just in case.

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neurotic

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Hamter

POV you're an impurity