haec-est-fides

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THIS LOOK THIS LOOK THIS LOOK

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[haec-est-fides]

i just want a sitcom (in the style of the office) situated in camp jupiter,?

because you have to stay diplomatic in the roman camp, you have to stay professional, no matter how much you may want to hurl someone into the air with a manubalista. the praetors have duties to attend to, problems to solve, looks to upkeep. and then the desks in their office are trampled by an elephant who was accidentally left loose.

a six hour long meeting of the senate, discussing whether they should or shouldn't classify nymphs as official residents of camp jupiter. reyna and frank both keep face and engage with the discussion, at least a little bit, though they mainly serve as moderators, while dakota is in charge of taking notes from the meeting. larry (mercury's son) and leila (ceres' daughter) are at it, one of them politely raising their hand as soon as the other begins speaking. as the hours progress, in the background, we see many a shots of dakota carrying a large bottle of what seems to be kool-aid. the debate seems to be coming to an end, both sides repeating all of their points in different wording, when frank stands up and ends the discussion. "write that down, dakota." dakota has fallen off their chair and has visible stars swirling around their head like in cartoons.

reyna, to the camera: "in the past few weeks, the campers here at camp jupiter have taken to playing a lot of ultimate frisbee. i didn't mind it at first, as it is a good way to keep them active and entertained... but recently, things have taken a turn for the worse." ida (luna's legacy), to the camera: "colum, who's somehow related to vulturnus, god of the east wind-" *raises hand to the heavens in acknowledgement* "-got the idea to enchant the disc, just a little, so that they could throw a larger distance. he was, of course, not the only one to get the idea of using a bit of divine power to boost their game. they tested to see how far apart could they could stand from each other, first just at the barracs, but slowly expanding to new rome, and temple hill." lavinia, to the camera: "look, i have no idea how it happened! tom made the disc sing for some reason, but i only made a little prayer, and the disc suddenly just didn't obey the laws of physics at all!" reyna, to the camera: "the windows of the temple of favonius are currently being repaired. needless to say, we will not be playing frisbee anymore." *a window behind her is broken, as a singing, out-of-control spinning, colour-shifting, animal-sound-producing disc crashes through it. reyna doesn't move. camera zooms in on the disc, which is slowly changing into plasma, and playing all national anthems at once. a shot on frank, standing above the disc, sipping from a cup of tea.*

reyna, to the camera: "life at the office gets slow from time to time, so frank and i are competing in who can build the best minigolf course around the office without octavian noticing." *shot to reyna rearranging the pencil tins on a cupboard while trying not to get caught* frank, to the camera: "so far, i've built the longest one. it's 17 feet long, and goes from the potted venus flytrap by the door, all the way to the water cooler. oh, it also goes directly across octavian's desk, so you have to wait for the right moment when he's distracted, so he won't notice." frank, seeing reyna across the room: "heeyy, octavian, what is that you're working on?" octavian: "i'm revising the manuscripts from praetor feronius." *reyna is seen in the background, focused on taking the perfect minigolf stance* frank, trying to sound as nonchalant and calm as possible: "oh, are those the ones about the farmland division?" octavian, offended: "no, we discussed this during the last senate meeting; it's the proposals of generating income and managing the economic situation of camp! frankly, the principia is almost falling apart, and it feels like we're in a slum rather than in (continues ranting)" *frank watches past octavian's shoulder as reyna plays her round, hides the golf club back behind the coat hanger, and continues walking to her table* frank, into the camera: "thankfully, it's not that difficult to achieve."

reyna develops immunity to poison and nobody knows.

gwen, to the camera: "we've been getting complaints recently, about disruptions in the night peace. they're all from the same person." *b-roll begins playing* "two weeks ago, dakota hosted their monthly cheese and biscuits party, but things got a bit out of hand" *we are shown a handheld shot of many people trying to balance on one unicycle* "unfortunately, one of our legacies, ryan, had a bit of an accident, which resulted in him getting impaled on one of hannibal's tusks." *shot on hannibal the elephant catching plastic rings on his tusks, and accidentally impaling ryan right through. the crowd stare at him* marilyn (euterpe's daughter), to the camera: "dakota is a wonderful party host, they always make sure to remember everyone's alergies and preferences, and . plus, they're experienced, they know how to de-escalate a situation! and if not, there's usually gwen to help them!" reyna, to the camera: "it was an unfortunate accident. but these things do happen sometimes, and we just have to accept them. however, ryan doesn't seem to see the rules as applicable to himself in this case. he has taken upon himself to return to camp in ghost form, and has been filing noise complaints against dakota every day for the past two weeks." dakota, to the camera: "i've invited him to come to the parties with us - lots of ghosts do. all he cares about is, apparently, getting me deposed and creating more paperwork for reyna." *shot of reyna opening the noise complaint, setting it alight, and throwing it into the fireplace to warm her hands*

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man, throwing down his sword in outraged disgust: No! This is not what I signed up for! There are limits to how low even someone such as I is willing to sink.

me, pausing in the middle of loading another hostage into the trebuchet: Dude I asked you what you want to do, and you said that you don't care, and that you're down for anything for as long as we're hanging out.

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ugh the Ancient Roman who joined our birdwatching club won't shut up about "bad omens" or "signs of impending war" 😒

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life peaked when i was reading toa for the first time since then it's all been downhill

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mods hurl this guy off the tarpeian rock

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This sucks so bad I am going to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] introduce reforms for the Roman state

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my republic roman era senator roommate keeps talking about the customs of the ancestors and how it means he can't help clean the apartment because using a vacuum violates the mos maiorum. whatever man the customs of the ancestors don't seem to matter much to you when you're hogging the nintendo switch to play civ 6

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TOApril Day 12 - Eyes That Glow Gold

I'll always be a fan of Apollo' eyes looking like Kronos' when he's upset. The father haunts the son who haunts the father and so on and so forth

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iykyk

Unnecessary headcanon time: If anyone in his vicinity says anything that happens to resemble the lyrics to a song, it plays in his head perfectly like his own, unwilling radio

Songs referenced: First | Second <- this one is not work appropriate lmfao

[haec-est-fides]

Day 5 - Through the Snake's Lies

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he's so hot i need to feed him the world's most perfect strawberry

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