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me and my girlfriend started to rewatch merlin again... i fear i developed an unhealthy obsession??

(season 2 spoilers under cut! (is it even possible to spoil a show that ended 10+ years ago?)

ough i keep forgetting how gut wrenching that show is💔👎

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every year after you turn 17 you get further away from being the age of the dancing queen and that’s my least favorite thing about growing up

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Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

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― Elena Ferrante, The Story of the Lost Child

[text ID: To write, you have to want something to survive you.]

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Rosewater by Em Niwa

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summer 2025

When people love you they want to ease your pain

Your desire to be a sleek and independent and unwanting machine is unattainable and rampantly destructive

You can eat the serviceberries growing by the river they’re best when theyre dark red but not too dark red

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I'm back on my bullshit

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Warsan Shire, from “Backwards”, Bless the Daughter Raised by a Voice in Her Head

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 — Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh (The Hague, 21 July 1882)

[text ID: Art is jealous, she does not like taking second place to an illness. Hence I shall humour her.]

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its a mystery

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Rachel Eliza Griffiths, from Seeing the Body: Poems; “Name”

[Text ID: “Sometimes, it was love or art / that left me crawling in a tunnel. Sometimes I saw / choke-chains slither with my own hatred. The desire / to will myself blind so that I could not see / my face except in shadow.”]

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disliking your father for personality traits you have yourself but keep firmly repressed

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I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you

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 Here’s the WHOLE drunk conversation. Pg61-65 in my copy of the book

View it here X on tapas for better quality

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