haildioson

[haildioson]

holli took a whole 30 seconds to quietly fume to herself about how yasmyne would just keep sidestepping all her attempts at some escalation. wouldn't even fight back. but then daiquiris were mentioned and she did, in fact, want one. doing what must be done, holli got over it and scooted closer to prop her chin on a fist, watching them work. "yes, i think that's probably the most sensible course of action, young doctor yasmyne" she did a little english accent. "if you'd like to lead this family on to some future with class and dignity and ... strawberries ... i guess i can only follow."

if it weren't so common yasmyne might even be amazed at how this literally went so off course. unfortunately, they didn't have enough cigarettes to try & put it back on said course. ❝ .... sure, let's go with that. ❞ it was an impossible case and they were no st. jude, so what was the point of trying any further. for now they just shrug with holli's destructive epiphany and reach out to pour for a taste of one of the few bottles that wasn't shattered along the ground. as soon as their lips touched it, their mouth frowned. not their favorite, needed a chaser. ❝ you want a daiquiri ? it's the only way I'm drinking this. �� a sigh as they realize they need to grab their mixing equipment and find a blender.

[haildioson]

[haildioson]

"ohhh no. nope. not you." holli squinted, knowing the truth in her heart, but hoping the explosion of twins around here these days was just playing tricks on her again. "it's just like when i didn't know who you were on the texts the other day. right?" she did actually already know, though, and no false pretext would stop the resulting anxiety and honestly, frustration. "everything has to be about evverryyyonnnee else all the time, doesn't it? all of you, really. EYE know what i'm doing okay? YOU! you're the motherrfuckerr doesn't know what he's doing!! you know what you did. are doing. don't talk down to me." she had the odd urge to spit in the floor between them but thankfully tamped down on it.

"and i am going to try it. myself. again. tomorrow." she looked for something tasty to turn up, wanting to make the Last Ones the Best Ones. "you should be turning yourself into the authorities or something. or at least your brother. you know the one."

"you won't be able to stop," said a deep voice just seconds before he moved to sit across from her. his hair was still wild and a bit unkept and the circles under his eyes were as dark as the night sky. he wasn't polished or perfect as he and leo used to carry themselves around camp instead he was a broken and hollow shell of the man he used to be. tired and exhausted. "it's in our blood. sure the first few days you're fine and fool yourself into thinking you can do it but usually by day three or four it calls out to you like a siren." as ender malikov speaks he reaches for one of the bottles in front of him not even looking at the bottle before he opens the cap and brings it to his lips to take a swig of it.

nearly half the bottle was gone before he sat it back on the table and continued his little speech. "all addicts sure have a hard time quitting but our blood is basically wine the moment we were conceived. we need liquor to live. you ever tried go a day with out eating or simply forget to? it's like that but tenfold. you can go ahead and try but im warning you, little dio, it's impossible."

[haildioson]

"oh yeah how lucky. can't even make a dramatic statement without it being upstaged by someone just floating it up off the floor. luckiest girl in the world. and oh and it brings up a specific and sickening parental trauma from your recent past too. meanwhiles." how boring yas couldn't even be provoked, but secretly she loved them for that, they'd stick around longer. she waved at the demis to take some credit for the drink, if she could. "what am i supposed to tell a therapist at this point? hello, i am made of alcohol and also will not believe anything you're about to say or i already know it and don't want to do it. i think they'd probably let me go." she gave a sarcastic smile, then it became a real one. holli nodded deeply, snapping and pointing at yasmyne's face. "exactly. that's just who i am. why even fight it, right? i should just go gently into the good night. just activate the insane gene and get some ignorance and bliss already. yeah?"

holli's stare doesn't faze yasmyne much, as she's not the first pissed off drinker they've come across and certainly won't be the last. ❝ lucky us that we can do this. ❞ a twitch of their nose and the liquor swirls up into a floating stream of sorts. huh, kind of looked like their dad a bit ... well into the fishbowl his likeliness goes. and of course some demis grab a straw and drink out of it: hopeless bunch. ❝ I don't know, get some help, go to a therapist, get a new hair style, go to a hera champion and get checked out. ❞ yasmyne wasn't dr. phil & thank gods for it. still, they knew what holli meant, and while they certainly didn't know what would sate it, they also knew when attempts were futile. why they really even cared about this was beyond yasmyne, as weren't all that close to their half & halfs, but it just seemed like a repeated cycle of spirals and unsatisfaction. ❝ the definition of insanity is trying something over again and not expecting the same results, even though the factors are the same. just saying try something else ... something that might have more permanent results so you don't find yourself at square 1 all over again. ❞

[haildioson]

she saw him clearly, and that big ass jaw that would just take the licks and stay in the shit tugged at her. as it always did when he ran toward danger, he was just real and ready to take it on. by the time he got to mention putting on a show, something she knew damn well he had no interest in, she could smile easily. "yeah, you want to?" she got up to gather the bottles of note, knowing she had a cute way to bundle them around here, at least in a crate she'd brought them over in. "and what should we ask of them in return? or what are they supposed to do with it? just enjoy? a vicarious party?" she thought it through aloud, liking the something else to talk about, at least.

holli could only be glad he wasn't calling her out, she could really look around her cynicism to see what levin was saying from the right lens, rather than be distracted with defending herself. "good. i'll sleep better about it tonight. i'm glad you want to, for real." she smiled back even wider, nodding encouragingly before ducking under the table for the 4x4 crate and somehow managing to not knock anything over. "i absolutely want to hang out sometime. were there sights that you wanted to see?"

for a second he thought she was going to reach out and slap the living shit out of him. even with that thought, levin still didn't move. instead, he leaned forward like he was preparing for it and giving her the best angle possible. he wouldn't blame holli for hitting him or doing much worse than that. especially since she was going through something. "maybe we can put on a show where we feed it to the spirits instead of you. i'll make note of the black licorice too, thank you for that." he brought up one of the fondest memories that he had with the wine demigoddess.

a part of levin wanted to call holli out, even though he had no bad intent. her saying she was fine in a sense, that he had helped out enough, was pushing him away. wasn't this the same thing that he was found guilty off at the end of november? that wall he put up between other people and his own problems? thankfully, neither of them were telepaths. "okay, know that i'm here if anything though. definitely have felt that self love more. ran away from an avalanche instead of just making sure everyone was safe and sacrificing myself." that was a step in the right direction, even if he still went alone, which was why he was smiling. "i'm happy for the both of us. i was thinking, as a part of this whole self love journey, if you wanted to hang out sometime? we can party with the nymphs or go sight seeing." he didn't know what this sober journey looked like for holli, so he didn't mention clubbing. also, for his own comfort.

[haildioson]

holli stared yas down a moment, holding the tension carefully between them, though she could feel it slipping away naturally, "you and i both know i don't know where the fuckin brooms are." or how many there were or where the nearest one lived. she cast her eyes around for anything that might absorb liquor, and there was nothing at this table or the next, at least. she didn't really want to go farther than that, so she just kept searching those nearby spaces, moving shit around. "okay yeah and what if i feel like that all the time, huh? like i already don't know where i'm going. nothing feels good or right, not even when i was trying to get up early. and like workout and stuff, you know. what else is there??" she had to pour a little down her throat for that one, it burned.

& just like that, their effort in advice was killed. ❝ if this is the means to your goal, I hope there are a lot more brooms around. ❞ another stead sip as they look down at the shattered liquor bottle, its contents spreading out along the specified spot of the mess hall. a damn shame, could have been used for a cocktail. another sip of the red liquid within a crystalline cup before they continue on, crossing booted legs to avoid the growing puddle. ❝ not saying you're too pussy to do it; if anything, you lack it. just warning you to be realistic about it. you know how it can go for wine babies; extreme highs to extreme lows, never an in-between. then before you know it, the course is so out of whack that you're not even sure where the fuck you're going. ❞ the natural sting of the cigarette smoke before release reminds them of it. 

[haildioson]

holli caught sight of the fox and had a moment of curiosity before she managed to feel resentful even of that; of course he had another furry replacement for human connection. and levin just kept being kind and making it hard to hold her grudge. "yeah, please do. i bet the spirits would love it. any particularly vengeful spirits, try that licorice shit in the black bottles right there. i had a lot of spite in my heart making that." she smiled almost fondly, reminiscing at all the times she'd shared with her collection.

though, hearthsgiving got her attention, of course. she could barely hear the rest of what he said over the roaring in her ears, shocked that he'd even brought it back up again, and unexpectedly hit with a wave of all she hadn't dealt with since. "i...oh." a deep desperation betraying her desire to not care and the disinterested performance she would have loved to put on, holli searched his gaze for sincerity, wondering if he was bullshitting her and why. of course, levin was better than most guys, so maybe he really did just pick up a book and start healing, but...in a lot of ways he wasn't, either. well there was no pretending she wasn't invested at this point, but holli just swallowed the lump in her throat and waved off his offer. "nah, you've helped me a ton too. just help yourself. love yourself. you deserve it. i'll be..." she tried to say fine twice, and ended up shrugging. felt too weak and fake for the moment. "que sera, sera. i'm really happy for you, though."

even though levin had technically isolated again, it wasn't entirely his choice. he stepped into the north pole alone because everyone else was busy with another mission or their own personal lives, but he still wanted to help. that apparently led to him having another company that showed up, which holli could stop a white artic fox playing on the opposite side of abel. her ice couldn't get too close to his fire. "i can take some off of your hands then. i use alcohol sometimes when summoning spirits. the whole offerings thing doesn't just apply to the gods." he smiled over at her, an awkward type that one would get from someone that they hadn't spoken to in years. "i have a not new years resolution of my own by the way. i'm still thinking about hearthsgiving." whatever they were going to call that night. diosgiving felt too on the noise with holli. "i got a self love slash help book. almost done with it too. so if i can help you out in anyway feel free to use me. you helped me a ton." again, he was out and about, not isolating.

[haildioson]

holli couldn't deny she'd looked to the door for levin more than once, hoping she could at least give him a few bottles before it was gone--one way or another. but when she actually did catch sight of his face, she had to fight the instinct to duck under the table. a kind of dread crept into her heart, and she knew she'd feel like shit later, instinctively anticipating the emotional hangover. "glad you approve." holli spit in an uncharacteristic bitterness, shaking her head as a desperate cue to herself to not do that. and she did manage not to say most of the things on the tip of her tongue, amazed at how acidic her reactions could be, even when he was just rattling off ways to help her, but holli tried to just watch it from outside herself and not give in. not take the easy way out--at least his concern trolling leaned toward sounding supportive. "i hoped i could give it away, but there's a hoarder thing happening for sure. take some. please. for my own good." she managed a smile, almost as bright as usual, sliding a few choices toward him.

"everything's better when you put your mind to it, so if you think that's going to work then i'm fully on board." not much of a drinker himself, levin was there for moral support. he promised holli he wouldn't shut himself out and this was him trying to do just that. he sat down across from her, smiling awkwardly as always. "i can have abel burn it for you. ironically, reyna is also really good at hiding things in the snow if that's going to be better for you." anything to help.

[haildioson]

"well, no, i don't think you're listening to me, because i'm not. i'm saying i'm quitting for good right now. and then by new years i'll be able to just be a social drinker or something. maybe nothing at all, who knows. i'm making lots of points, i'm just not being pussy about it, so maybe that's the umm..." her vocabulary ultimately failed her here, and holli twisted her wrist in the air to turn the blade in a slow circle, trying to influence the word to come to her tongue. gap? in knowledge? experience? no.. um.. ultimately she frowned, not able to get there before spiral caught her attention and her thoughts were forced to follow. "spiral? really? that's the new word for hysterical, right? the nice way to call me histrionic? politically correct." she rolled her eyes, sick of the ways her family tried (pretended) to be supportive. of the way they supervised her. "no, yasmyne, it isn't gonna do more damage. and if it were, that would be my problem, wouldn't it? or are you volunteering to clean up this mess?" to punctuate, her knife hand shot out to slice a bottle off of the table, sending it flying to the floor. she had a split second to hope the bottle was one of her collection that wouldn't break, either due to construction or magic, followed by a pang of guilt for the wasted liquor. it didn't deserve that.

❝ I think you can but like, what's the point if you're gonna triple back on it for new years and after, you know ? why give it up if you're gonna go back ot it ? ❞ their suggestion isn't one of judgement, but of rationality. though they don't give holli theirs, they do manage to pull a pack from out their small corset and a lighter as they take another inhale and exhale of their own. ❝ I just think that you know where your spiralling leads to, so is the brief abstaining really that helpful ? also I've seen how you get during dry spells; it's self torture. ❞ gods, they can't believe they were encouraging a sibling to drink more. but alas, that was the reality of being a dionysus child. even for them, who probably drank the least, still sipped a bit everyday. yasmyne certainly wouldn't disagree with a cutback of the liquor, but to do without cold turkey ? for a snap of a stint ? ❝ all I'm saying is is this gonna do more damage in the long run for you ? ❞ yasmyne nonchalantly asks as the long pipe leaves their lips.

[haildioson]

[haildioson]

"yeah, exactly, i'll be straight by new years. what, you don't think i can do it?" she keened over to reach a large knife on the other side of the table, swinging it around to the cutting board on her own side, lime, lemon, and orange juice leaking off of the sides. "let me get a cigarette. i don't know where mine are." she wiped her brow with arm holding the knife, leaving more juice smeared across her forehead. at least it wasn't in her hair yet. "yes? and? should i just not fuckin worry about it??" though slightly more confrontational than usual, she didn't sound particularly mad or offended about it, but rather, eager for an answer.

❝ ... holliday, we haven't even made it to christmas yet. ❞ yasmyne just looked at this ... odd attempt at either sobriety or debauchery from one of their siblings. sounded like personal issues at a head, then again, wasn't that always the case. a side blow from their long cigarrette holder as they see what all is either being put away or being chugged; mm, if the tequila isn't taken by the end of it, it would certainly be used in a daiquiri of sorts. ❝ are you on another existential crisis about the future or the direction of your life ? ❞ they gently sit on the edge of one of the tables and take another puff.

[haildioson]

[ location : mess hall ] [ open to : everyone ]

"...and actually i think if i quit now, then it'll be easier than at new year's right? like no pomp and circumstance. no resolution. i'm just casually doing it, you know." in a show of casual's exact opposite, holli was talking to whomever she could strongarm into it, pulling demis in as they passed the table where she was holding court. its entire surface was filled with liquor bottles, a few placed on the ground waited patiently on deck. "so just take whatever you want, or sit with me and get shitty, however you like to celebrate. merry eve eve!"

[haildioson]

Thierry Mugler - Fall 1996 RTW

[haildioson]

[ location : frozen lake ] [ open to : @horrificvanity ]

"okay, i know you're like a yeti or whatever, but this can't be healthy. i do love the glint of the moon off your ass, i'm not complaining, but i feel like i should at least give you my coat." holli had a comfy and worn leather jacket that had come in handy the last few weeks with the cold snap, and now it covered her 90s tlc style satin pjs and complemented the fuzzy hiking boots she'd stolen from whichever sibling had left them by the door. and upon seeing him standing naked against the moon and stark snowy banks, she'd immediately wished she'd brought another. at least the underlying concern stopped her from accidently laughing in good cheer, sure to be mistaken in the moment. "where are your clothes?"

[haildioson]

[haildioson]

"yeah, they did. i stayed back and did intel, but i got into their security system; still have access unless they've found and purged." which was a whole other can of worms, and they likely did know and were just watching them for now, waiting to strike. "i could, though, yeah. should probably check in on london anyways; he's back up there."

unexpectedly, holli burst into laughter at the sardonic statement, all at once taking the heat off of her and indicating he related. she instantly softened, the latent rage being replaced by a more weary resignation, but an appreciation for at least one member of the dio clan. "that's really sweet of you to say, leo." she flashed a warm smile before ensuring her glass was empty as well, catching the last drop, impressed with his taste for anything short of gasoline because it almost made her want to squirm--which just happened to be what she was looking for at the moment. listening to his words of wisdom, holli spun the empty glass on the bar, trying to let them really sink in. "on some level i know you're right. and i guess it doesn't even matter so long as you're having a good time." if only she could just always believe that. "i think it's probably just purpose, but that doesn't feel right either, because...i don't want to have to have one?" she pouted, frustrated with her inability to self-reflect. "i really just want to keep saying fuck it and roll on with the party, but then i always end up feeling like shit again because of someone else? i don't know. nothing i can do i guess. fuck it." done with even a weak showing of discipline, she dashed another pour of the inky liquor into their glasses.

For a brief moment Leo wanted to question whether Holli was glad he was back because then The Ender Situation™ would no longer be her problem, easily passed off to the twin - but the question never actually left Leo's lips. After all, he knew Holli had far more heart than he did. "Oo goodie, gifts!" Leo grinned playfully. "I heard along the proverbial grape vine that some people went into space? Now if you can get your hands on some space stuff, well that will make his whole day." If there was one thing about his husband that Leo knew well, it was that Rhys loved space.

Leo listened as his sister began to speak and pour them drinks - clearly something all Dio children had in common - because how often had he and Ender lamented over each others lives whilst mixing drinks? "That sounds a hell of a lot more like me than it does you Holli." Leo chuckled, something in him shifting to drop the dramatic flare he wore as perpetual armour for a moment to show something real - a side of him that only very few people ever got to see. "Before I met Rhys, well lets just say I was....unpleasant. Truth be told I still am to most people." He laughed, picking up the drink she offered and knocking it back. "I got lucky that I found my person, I had no intentions of ever finding someone to stay with permanently, I was only interested in a good time - the shorter the better. And I only recently figured out what I'm all about - but I am older, wiser and better looking." Leo teased, winking playfully because all Dionysus children were hot as fuck. "Is a relationship what you want? Or is the party life still what you're after? And is this about love or more of a purpose in general?"

[haildioson]

"yeah, that's exactly what i'm glad of. like no joke." now her main focus could be getting this shit lit that didn't want to stay that way, and something else to drink. something...darker... she wandered off half lit to rummage behind the bar. "once i get some money i'll get you something really good for the wedding, okay? what kinda stuff does he like?" she didn't quite dare to say his name aloud in this state, afraid to get it wrong, even with most the other inhibitions out the window already. while she was always drinking, she was rarely drunk, but had been on a rolling bender since dio got back that had reached terminal velocity. her physiology was well suited to a 100% blood alcohol level, but it was still starting to show around the edges.

holli rolled her eyes at the question, more at herself than leo, as she set a couple bottles on the bar and one rolled out of the cabinet she'd been in onto the floor with a crash. unfazed, she started mixing. "it's just been one thing after another, really, and just..!" she threw her arms up and let them slap down. "i'm just gonna be this mid demi, no following, no relationship longer than two weeks when they either get sicka me or die. can't leave, can't stay, suckass dad..." she made a couple slips and drips, but eventually she had two sickly black glasses of oily liquor that smelled strongly of liquorice. she slid one toward leo, but she'd drink it if he didn't. it was easy to laugh and smile at his tale, though jealousy seared like heartburn back up her throat. "i couldn't even stay in bali. and not even harlan cares enough to stay with me here, and i literally begged! ugh. pathetic. who even am i? you're doing something at least, and with someone who loves you, you know what you're about and have everything you need! it's not fair."

Man with a plan - that had never really been Leo's style, he didn't plan, he reacted to the world around him. But where his twin was concerned Leo would do whatever it took to see him home and if that meant being a responsible adult, well he'd put on his big boy pants and actually use his brain for once. After all Leo wasn't stupid, just like Ender he was cunning, smart, a master manipulator - now he just needed to turn Ender's own skills against him, because no one knew him better than his twin. "Aren't you so very glad my husband decided we needed to help save the world?" Leo replied humour touching his words a small smirk pulled at his lips.

He didn't waste any time acquiring another drink when it began to run low, fingers swirling above his glass in an elegant flourish causing alcohol from the nearby bottles to flow into the empty glass, mixing together in a swirl to create the cocktail Leo wanted. "What rut?" He questioned, quizzical eyes turning on his sister, all the while Leo's mind considered possibilities of what to do about Ender. "Bali is a favourite of mine - the parties Ender and I threw, picture perfect debauchery." He chuckled with a sly grin at the fond memories. "Of course that was before he fucked off to be crazy and I became a respectably married man. Who the fuck even am I?" Leo laughed, never having thought he would settle down and give up his perfect party life.