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I just can’t make myself do things you know ? Like I’m genuinely stuck in this time loop. And I’m waiting and waiting for it to pass but I can’t … it’s all so much you know … so so much …
#I can’t even breathe#the time passes and I’m just sitting idly#I’m so scared for this that I’ve quit all hobbies I could be enjoying to the max but I’ve only done so half heartedly because of worry but I#can’t even do the things I HAVE to do#I don’t even know what to do anymore#I have my work stuff in front of me#but I’m so horrified of doing this all over again and this work I have to do just brings me back to what used to happen and#it’s so unfair#so so so unfair
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Sigh.
#out of all the sad things you could’ve said you say this. this isn’t even sad it upset me super deeply#worst part is is that it’s pathetic to be upset by this#honestly I’d rather die than this whole other situation anyways#just thinking about it sends me into hysteria#oh my God ….#it genuinely hurts so much you know
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are you okay today, sweetie ? :(
hiii I’m really sorry if I had concerned you T-T I just wanted to make a side blog to vent things out since I felt like my friends don’t listen anyways and this might be too much for them too, but thank you for your little message, I honestly didn’t expect anything at all :( you’re very sweet, I appreciate it a lot :(((
#as for your question truthfully I don’t think I can be okay permanently T-T#or at least long term#because my mood is mostly low a lot; so when good things do happen they’re very fleeting and like specks of goodness which aren’t really#good becaude the good thing becomes bad very quickly#so essentially it wasn’t good technically#aaaah why am I saying this I’m sorry again to have worried you#I hope you’re having the nicest day :’) !
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maybe I should start s.h again
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It’s so lonely.
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This is so suffocating. Nothing is good anymore not even the things I like and it’s as though there’s no way out, like I’m stuck in this time loop thing where time is just stagnant ? I keep checking my phone. Nothing. When there is something it’s just bad news. Don’t tell me this is going to happen again
#every semester it gets worse and worse#I almost overdosed on paracetamol last semester#maybe I’ll actually do it this time around#everything is just stuck
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